To Me, By Me, Through Me, As Me: A Path Out of Victimhood

in metaphysics •  6 months ago

I started getting into metaphysics in my early 20’s. I first discovered the Unity church, then Abraham Hicks. I had already read a few other books that sort of introduced these ideas and some esoteric spiritual beliefs, but I went deeply in when I started attending a Religious Science church in Asheville. This is different from Christian Science, btw. The church was founded by Earnest Holmes and was based on pulling bits from a number of metaphysical geniuses. There is a lot of wonderful freedom and peace in these teachings, but I want to start with what I consider one of the most important things I ever learned through this philosophy. Part of what makes it so incredibly rich is that it continues to grow and unfold. This teaching is continually evolving. It is, indeed a path.

To Me

It begins with victimhood. If you have children, you know this is how we all start. I believe few adults really realize how much they are actually still trapped in this phase. Let me say very clearly that it is important to acknowledge where you are and even more important to know for sure that wherever you are is perfectly perfect. We all begin with wondering why all these things are happening “to me.” Why am I being picked on? Why don’t things work out for me? Why am I so unlucky? Why is the world so unfair? This is victim mentality. We all go there sometimes, but you don’t want to live life there. It’s depressing. Also, other states of mind are way more fun!

By Me

At some point we begin to realize it doesn’t have to be this way. We start to realize we have more control over our lives than previously believed. This can be tricky territory as there are people who use this to place blame on people for the condition of their lives. That was never the intent of the teaching, and it’s certainly not the truth of the universe. Anyone who has ever been involved in sales can tell you that you are much more likely to make a sale when you have a positive attitude, when you believe in yourself. You can have an effect on the outcome of your work by paying attention to your thoughts and feelings. Nearly anyone involved in medicine will tell you there is a much better chance for healing when the patient has a positive outlook and believes in the strength of their body, their physician, and whatever medicine.

This is the place where we get obsessed with positive affirmations. It is an incredibly beautiful place to be and so delicious to flood our minds with so much positivity and bliss. We begin to notice we are creating better circumstances for ourselves, but it is also a place of effort. We believe we must militantly guard our thoughts and protect ourselves from our own thoughts. This is a stage of constant vigilance and action, where we believe in our power but perhaps not necessarily our worth. We still believe we must perform for our treats and that our missteps will inevitably cause us suffering.

I think this is probably where a lot of the confusion on these teachings comes in. I know when I was first getting into this philosophy, I had a lot of concerns and questions. None bothered me so much as starving children living in war torn places. The best explanation I got from a woman who I considered to be an incredible teacher who had spent many years digging into this philosophy was that these beings come onto this plane with an agreement to suffer so the rest of us will learn that the path we are on as a species is not the most helpful one. There are other big questions of course, and I’m happy to talk about them in the comments. I’ve asked many including “why was I raped?” and “why did my brother get cancer?” These are complicated and intricate. Life is not black and white, but in short, yes, I did create that situation, though not as a punishment for myself. I learned something important. Life was never meant to be all sunshine and unicorn farts. Without contrast, we never even know what joy is. So, I don’t want to get too wrapped up in this piece, but I am willing to talk about it below, and I think it’s important that in this stage we are talking about exerting our own independent will under that ever thwarting illusion of separation, and that is probably an important piece of the puzzle.

Through Me

This is the beginning of finding peace and equanimity. Here we start to see that we don’t have to work so hard. We can allow God to move through us to accomplish all we need and want. This is where we begin to feel the gift of allowing.

I first experienced this when I learned Reiki. Coming from a Christian background, I most easily related this to the concept of the holy spirit. The idea is that God energy or healing energy or whatever you want to call it is everywhere, all around us at all times. To heal someone with Reiki, you don’t have to actually “do” anything. You only have to allow the healing energy to move through you. Then the recipient decides if they will allow it in. I have only felt the energy rejected one time, and that was truly bizarre.

In the same way, the situations, circumstances, feelings, and objects we would like to see manifest in our lives can simply flow right through us. It doesn’t actually take a lot of effort. We simply need to feel ourselves worthy enough to allow it in.

As Me

This has always seemed to me to be sort of an enlightened place. In “through me,” we are still exerting our own will. We are still trying to write the story. To be clear one more time, there is nothing wrong with that. We experience contrast. We see what we don’t want and what we do want. So of course we want to experience things that please us.

There comes a point, though, that we can simply lay everything in God’s hands. We become one - or perhaps we recognize that we have always been one - with God. So we set aside our own will and allow God’s will to become our will. Again, coming from a Christian perspective, it’s very similar to the idea of “not my will, but thine.” We are in a place of trusting that whatever path we make in total cocreation with God will be fabulous.

I really love discussing metaphysical things and hope to begin writing more in this area. Please discuss away in the comments, even if it’s to say you think I’m totally and completely banana boat bonkers.

Much love, y’all!

As always, all pics are mine or pixabay unless otherwise noted.


Also, check out @tribesteemup for more information on how to follow the curation trail or delegate. This allows you to help yourself and empower a beautiful, positive community of world changers.

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This is such a deep and yet empowering post, @solarsupermama. This is my time coming across metaphysics so I actually know nothing and am trying to digest your post.

This is the beginning of finding peace and equanimity. Here we start to see that we don’t have to work so hard. We can allow God to move through us to accomplish all we need and want. This is where we begin to feel the gift of allowing.

Okay, my church and I do believe in spiritual healing too. Is that what Reiki is? I know positive thinking and faith/trust would definitely aid in the process of healing. The victimized mentality is one no-no for me too, because it can paralyze me, I know it very well. I have seen friends who live in it, and it is very difficult to pull or even encourage them to come out, it's almost like an addiction or a pit they are in.

Your post is very interesting and I would love to find out more :)


Reiki is very similar to spiritual healing. Essentially the healing energy is all around, and when I put my hands on someone, I simply allow the energy to flow through me and out of my hands. It is well known that Jesus taught his disciples to heal, and though modern Reiki originated in Japan, I have often thought that the teaching simply survived in the east whereas it probably wouldn't have survived in the west where people are more suspicious and unwilling to believe things they can't see.
Victim mentality is addictive. People get terribly addicted to the chemicals released when they feel sorry for themselves and others feel sorry for them. It is truly addictive.
Not sure what your particular religious beliefs are or how strict they are, but that might help me direct you to more reading that would be in alignment with you.


Wow thanks for such an informative reply, @solarsupermama. I'm very appreciative of this. I'm a Christian too, believing in spirituality and am open to reading. So, I guess there isn't really strictness.

So that's Reiki. I did search online a bit after I read your post to just gauge what it is. So, it's this cool about feeling the energy flowing out. That's really like what Jesus felt. Whatever He did, so can we do, greater than that, we can do too. That's my basic belief :)

Yeah truly agree again with the addiction cycle of self pity you commented. It totally put a lid on us to realise the potential of strength and ability within.


Reiki is really powerful. It's an incredible feeling to have it flow through. I also believe strongly in the this and greater you shall also do. I think it was one of his more important messages. You might enjoy reading Charles Fillmore. He was a Christian with metaphysical leanings. Really good stuff.
It's really hard to move out of the victim stage, and most people don't even know they're there, but it's definitely a worthwhile journey, and in the end people would relish deeply in that strength and ability you talk about.

Metaphysics is always such interesting territory to explore!

Thanks to @paradigmprospect, this post was resteemed and highlighted in today's edition of The Daily Sneak.

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Thank you, @paradigmprospect! And thank you @thedailysneak!