Love our spouse. But why must I?

To those who are married,

Have you ever thought or talked to yourself that maybe, just maybe, you married the wrong person? You know, just a moment of passing thought? Sshhhh....😷 It happened to me one point in my marriage when back then I was still immature in handling my marriage - the first two years of marriage if I remembered correctly.

100% own drawing.

In the early years of marriage, I was still learning how to live my world with another person. Every single day, I learned to commit to consider another person in many decisions I made. What to eat. What time to use bathroom. Where to go for dinner. What to cook. Waiting for another person to get ready. The lists were long.

It was challenging and frustrating in the beginning. It seemed after married, my ex-boyfriend whom I now called husband became another person that was different from the one I dated. It took me to gradually realised that I, too, had changed to another person. When we were in dating stage, I ensure I was properly dressed with decent presentable make-up. After married, I woke up with my jammies, no make-up, messy hair and of course a mouth that need some brushing. lol. Before married, I was careful with words when came to dating. Even to yawn in front of him was an embarrassment. After married, I freely shared my thoughts with him without filtering. And I didn't mind to yawn my sleepiness out, and Oh, what a satisfied yawwwnnn...... He didn't mind too, I hope🤔. What a big drastic change!

There is a joke about never say "your spouse has bad choice" or "he or she doesn't know how to make good decision" because you are his choice and he has decided to marry you. Due to this fact, always say and truly believe he has the best choice and he knows how to make good decision! Aha!

Own drawing.

If anything fails, don't fail to love

...especially your spouse, even on the day both of you quarreled. That only means both are on the journey to get to know each other in a deeper manner, not just merely knowing the person on the surface. Not all spouses will get into a fight, but many do. Some are silent war. Some are verbal war when suddenly your vocabulary becomes superb. Mine, falls on the silent cold war. And everytime when it happened, it hurt badly. "The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected," says Nicholas Sparks. However, thanks to gadget we will always text each other "I am sorry" and/or "I love you" then the big chunk of iceberg will melt by warmth once again. Indeed, patience and thoughtfulness are very essential in marriage.

100% own photo.

Why I choose to love my spouse eventhough I don't feel like it sometimes

One thing for sure, in marriage, love does not depend on feeling. It becomes a choice. It becomes a commitment. It becomes something husband and wife need to work on. My husband and I openly talked about our sparks of romance. It cannot be denied the sparks aren't the same anymore. We used to have heartbeat dub-dub, dub-dub so fast when we had date. Now we are so used to each other sometimes our heartbeat slows down due to no excitement in the presence of each other. No more sparks, it is okay, we have more peace now. In other words, mature love.

I vowed to myself that I will not let familiarity breeds complacency or contempt, but only content. I will love my spouse because he is the one I will grow old with. He is the one that accepts me for who I am. He will see me growing wrinkles and white hair and will still adore my beauty. He is the one that can understand my countenance should it displays sadness or sorrow. He is the one even if I forgot to greet him I won't be judged. He is the one forgiveness and love exists. He is the one who witnesses my size grows from S to XL then to M, yet does not make fun of me. He is the one imperfect yet perfect, vice versa. He is the one, whom the more we are together, the more we resemble each other. He is the one I freely informed without fear or worry that I want my body to be burned into ash on my last day.

Transformer or Hulk, he is still my love.

Reciting marriage vow

In the Name of God,
I, Jadeline, take you, Jason, to be my husband,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,
until we are parted by death. This is my joyful vow.

Own drawing.

Disclaimer: Above does not applied in the case of abusive spouse. Report immediately to welfare in charged so that you are protected.