You're right, she's taught you how NOT to be. Unfortunately, there are no licenses to become a parent. Anyone with the appropriate body parts can make a baby. It doesn't mean they're a parent.

I get criticized by other people for my parenting methods. My kids are self supporting. My daughter is in an accelerated Master program right now. My son, is not figuring out what he wants to do, since he's learned what not to do. I don't tell them what to do anymore. They're 24 and 26. It's not my job any longer. I cannot live their lives for them. I have always allowed them to express themselves in any manner they felt they needed. I may not always agree with their decisions, but it's not my place anymore to tell them how to live. I give suggestions. It's up to them to make the choice.

I think part of your feelings is it is your mom. You always feel an obligation to parents. My mom I would do just about anything for. She raised me to think for myself and be responsible for myself. My father on the other hand.... He's in a special place now for people of his caliber. NO parent should ever try to kill their own child. They should just leave them be rather than destroy them.

So being the type of mom I am. You have to take care of you first. Your rent, Your food and the things you need come first. If you do not have enough money to give her then don't. If she cannot accept that. It's her problem not yours. The downside, is your family may feel otherwise and give you a hard time. Definitely find some way to setup some boundaries that you are comfortable with.