How Do We Listen To What Others Are Saying Without Needing.......

aumsong (58)in #loveyou • 7 years ago

How do we listen to what others are saying
without needing to hear it in the way we want them to say it?

How do we listen in a way we both feel received?

#sacredlife #listening #curiosityofself #lifetolove

7 years ago in #loveyou by aumsong (58)

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tkappa (66) 7 years ago (edited)

That's a great question. How? I don't know for sure as I can only speak for myself. I would say that I have managed to listen what a person really has to say and not what I want to hear from him, only with my 4-year-young son so far in my life. It might sound dissapointing coming from a man of my age (36) but I prefer to be honest and be liked or disliked for who I really am, than to be liked or "impress" for something I am not (a fake "me.")

Ideally, I should have been able to listen more peoples' "reality," starting with my own mother and father, but I realize that especially with them I always listened to what I NEEDED (not even wanted) to hear, especially as an insecure youngster who constantly felt unloved and unappreciated.

However, now that my parents get older and older, I feel like I listen to what they really say (usually ask) to me and I can honestly say that I love them now more than ever before, as I don't need to need them anymore....I just choose to need them in my life :)

PS. Gratitude always comes last...when you are wise enough to realise that only unconditional love sets you free (from your agonies, insecurities and fear)

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thenomadictales (56) 7 years ago

Those are some valuable inputs. I would say we mature with time and it's on us how to use our learnings to become a good human being

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tkappa (66) 7 years ago

I agree that most of us become better humans as we age and getting more mature :)

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aumsong (58) 7 years ago

Sounds like you are listening. As I think true listening comes when we love ourself unconditionally. When we love ourself unconditionally it's usually easier to take responsibility for ourself, allowing us to be open to truly listening. Did you mean to say gratitude always comes first, as it truly does set us free from all attachment!

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tkappa (66) 7 years ago

That's a long conversation we can have in person when you are in Greece @aumsong :)

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caribbeanmon (56) 7 years ago

My thoughts on this is taking the "TIME" to really listen.
When we pay close attention to persons words and we look them in the eye acknowledging every thought with a head motion, they feel that they are heard.

We must also "listen" without "interrupting" the person. If we feel we should say something, we can ask a question to get a deeper understanding of what the person is trying to say to us.

Thanks for sharing those thoughts @aumsong!🤛🏾

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aumsong (58) 7 years ago

Yes, so true.

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knusperkeks (44) 7 years ago

First and foremost, it is important in my opinion to listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.
Second, if someone ask for your opinion, tell the truth, not what they like to hear.
Then you become a good listener. I think it's wrong to just talk nice. My experience has been that the truth hurts, but most know the truth and just do not want it true. if it speaks another person, it becomes real. As a listener, you also have to learn to hear the things the other one does not say. Watching the gestures and facial expressions is very important.

My favorite thing is when people remember little things I told them. Like, you really listened to me?

a very nice question ^^

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