Life when NoOne Loves you.......

I was actually afraid that no one will ever fall in love with me. She was my College Crush. I sent her a friend request on facebook. She not only rejected my friend request, but also blocked me.

I was ugly, introverted and a back bencher in my school life. I always tried to be friends with other students. I tried to do several things to impress them. But most of the students didn't like to be friends with me at all.

3 years ago, I wrote an article in my blog which was attention seeking and written in a such way that readers would love, but it got only 2 views and no upvotes.

An inglorious weekend evening, I was feeling empty. So, I called one of my friends to gossip but he told me he was busy. Called another friend, he did not receive my call and later switched off his phone.

I have failed to get enrolled in any public universities in Bangladesh after HSC (Higher Secondary School Certificate). I thought that my life is meaningless and I have no right to live. I did not find anyone to motivate me or to convince me that

“Failure is the great opportunity to begin again more enthusiastically and intelligently.”-Henry Ford

I have fought with depression throughout my life. But nobody ever asked me with affection, “Shovan, are you okay? How do you feel now?”

16th July was my birthday. I was waiting and expecting birthday wishes. But unfortunately did not get a single birthday wish from my friends and cousins.

I was returning from office at midnight. It was a long tiring day. Moreover that day my boss insulted me a lot without reason. Suddenly I started to feel lonely and broken in the bus. But I did not find anybody in my phone-book who I can call and share my loneliness.

Literally nobody used to like me. Now I have stopped searching approval from others to start thriving. I have accepted myself just the way I am.

I have started to work to impress myself, write blog for myself instead of impressing others, do what I love to do, avoid to pay attention to social media likes, views and up-votes, run in the morning, compete with myself to exceed yesterday's performance, go to bed and wake up early, maintain strict discipline, help poor children, meditate for hours after hours, learning primary steps of cooking from my mother, control excess emotions, spend quality time with real people instead of virtual people.

Life is becoming simple and easy. Surprisingly, people around me have started to like me.

I have found myself and happiness both.