Is it because there are too many options that I can’t fall in love with men?

Hi,
I can’t fall in love. In the past years, I have met hundreds of men who were good looking, intelligent and educated with good virtues but I could not feel infatuated with any of them. A while ago I had a relationship with someone I didn’t love and I suffered every minute of it; I felt like a zombie and eventually I left.
I am dying to love and be loved. I know what I want and I am choosing that but I still cannot find a boyfriend who I want to love. Is it because there are too many, the supply so vast?
Iris

Dear Iris,

Although love is a natural phenomenon in the world it can happen only if we allow it to flow through us.
Creating a regular relationship is not a complicated task. You go out to a party or meet someone on the bus or get involved with someone from work and before you realize it you have dated several times and have a relationship. But in this regular type of relationship there is often something missing; the “huge crash”, the “great infatuation” is lacking and we only compromise our feelings for the sake of avoiding loneliness.

The question, therefore, is how can we attract a relationship in which we would be madly in love with our spouse?

First, we should understand that when we fall in love issues of looks, status, religion or level of richness lose their importance. We are in love and we don’t care about anything else. Even our spouse’s qualities are not always revealed to us at first and when we discover them later, we disregard them. This is why people often say that love is blind.

Infatuation is so irrational because it comprises a pure essence of energy from the source of ourselves. When we fall in love we encounter an aspect of ourselves that has so far been dormant and has now been allowed to come to the fore to be accepted by us. Falling in love with someone, therefore, is actually falling in love with the self; with ourselves!

When during our life journey we learn more about the person we are, we may come to a halt; that is due to the fact that we have done so much inner work that the psyche now needs a recess to assimilate the energies it has been absorbing. This is natural and should be allowed.

Something different occurs with people who have never in their lives been in love. There, love must be awakened; they must be active to ignite the stream of love – as if they were an engine – until it flows smoothly in their veins and capillaries. Although it is neither mysterious nor difficult, two principles must be applied here.

The first principle says that in order to receive love you must first give it to others. So if you want to fall in love, first give love. Give love to the people in your life; your family, your friends, your colleagues or your ex-spouses if you are still in touch with them. Giving love doesn’t mean having sex with people you do not care for; love has many faces and sometimes even a smile or caring words can serve as an act of love.

The second principle requires you not to compromise. You cannot be in a relationship and at the same time looking for a way out. If you are not in love with the person you live with then choose differently. Either you regenerate the Eros in your relationship (i.e., the energy of infatuation) or you leave the spouse and allow the energy of Eros to manifest in your life through someone else. As long as you are willing to receive from life lesser versions than those you seek, this is exactly what you will get. So, do not complain!

A very efficient tool that you can use to ignite the flow of love is emotional imagination. In this exercise, you imagine - but not just through your mind - that you already have a relationship with someone you are in love with. Yes, fake it! For a few minutes, each day, simply pretend that you are in the company of your lover. What would you do? How would you feel?!! What emotions would be bubbling inside you?! Focus on them.

The bottom line is again very simple. Falling in love is a question of choice and allowing it to manifest.