Being Single Should Be A Choice. III, Contributed by @Olawalium
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I have a friend. She is the new friend I mentioned several weeks ago. I said that I don’t meet people by mistake and I talked about her about that. I knew there would be a reason why I met her and now I have found the many reasons.
She is the type that feels she needs to be in a relationship so she won’t be lonely. She calls herself a loner and I would never blame her at all because her background contributed so much to it. She is such an adorable soul and I love her. A lot needs to be done for her and I pray for strength to do that.
She is not single by choice, but by circumstance, so that is why her boyfriend acts anyhow because she is defined by this guy. The guy would act up and she would be the one running after him because she doesn’t want to be all alone by herself. It is a bad state for anyone to be in. I said in the last chapter that, in a relationship, no one should be at the mercy of the other.
When you go into a relationship, go into it not to fill a void, but because you know you have the capacity to love another, knowing full well that you have loved yourself first.
If you are not capable of loving yourself, how can you be capable of loving another? It takes only an understanding partner not to take advantage of your insecurities and lack of self-love.
There was a time this guy blocked her on all social media and she still felt it was her fault. I was really angry with her on that. This is what not loving yourself enough cause.
It is not so much in having a partner, but in being happy. What usually causes this, is the pressure from the society who look at people differently when they hear they are not in a relationship.
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.
Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.
Uhm, well said brother, our background contributed immensely over our choice in getting things done most especially when it comes to decision relating to making a marital choice, I believe she is the type that haven't received much love and seeing other people around her, that got the love they deserved, something like that might have contributed to it. Peer group influence also could not be over emphasize when it comes to choice of being single and in a relationship. But no matter what, we shouldn't be at the mercy of other just because we want to feel mingle and being love, as a lady she shouldn't be the chaser. Her time will surely time.
You are right. She is like that because of her background. She didn't feel much love while growing up and now that she found a guy who she feels love her, she is not willing to let go because she felt no one else could love her like that. What she needs to know is, if she loves herself enough, she wouldn't need to rely on someone that doesn't love her deep. Her love for herself will even chase those who can't measure up away.
Thanks again brother. Really appreciate you.
This happiness does not mean much material and abundant wealth. But happiness live and keep each other together. So before you decide to please others, you have to make sure you're happy yourself. So that you do not regret in the future.
You Do not Have To Be What He Wants, Because Life Is Yours
Everyone has their own choices in navigating this life. They are free to walk forward, backward, and turn left or right. Just as you, having the freedom to change or not is your due, entirely, because your life is yours and God. But every step you take still has its own risks. So if you do not like the changes your partner wants, you can either refuse or be forced to accept them for loving him too much. But obviously if you feel uncomfortable, you do not have to obey what he wants.
You Do not Need To Be Afraid To Step Away, When It's For Your Happiness
When you decide to end a relationship that you think is vague and endless. You may be overwhelmed by anxiety. As the assumption 'can I live away from him?' And so forth. All you have to remember is that you can go wherever you want, and nobody else can stop you especially since he's not yet fully part of your life. Especially if with him you feel did not find your happiness. Maybe it's a sign that he is not the right person to be the foundation of your heart.
You Have to Love Yourself More Than Others, Because Who Knows You Are Only You
When you feel very sick, the first person who will help you is yourself. Yes, you know who you are. Anything you like, who you love and other questions. What you need to do too is keep loving yourself and do not let other people hurt and change you as they please. When you are in a relationship and he always demands anything from you with love, then before you say it, you have to think about your happiness first. Does he really love you with all his demands? What risks do you get if you follow his instructions?
It's Not A Selfishness, But Loving Yourself Is Defense
If you meet a criminal on the street and he is trying to hurt you, you must think of many ways to ask someone for help or to beat the criminal to be deterrent. It is not selfishness or evil. But you are trying to defend yourself. Because you realize you are in danger and no one can help you. Just like relationships, if your partner shows signs of hurting you, you can fight him as a form of your defense. Again, this is not your selfishness. You have the right as a human being to gain happiness.
This is good. Yes, make it comfortable with you. It has to be your choice, should be out of your own free will not by what the society dictates.
Thanks a lot for your brilliant contribution. Much appreciated.
Simple and difficult at the same time, being alone and being in pairs has good and bad things, but in the end the key is to find our own connection.
Sweet one!. Yes, everything has it's own positives and negatives and that is why making decisions with a clear head matters. We should find our own connection like you said and not be influenced by what the society think.
Thanks a lot.
I hope her mentality has changed now that she know you
This happens to nowadays ladies, they think if they arent complete without being with a boyfriend so boys take them for granted. Boys counts girls they have made sex with like bank money. I hope girls realize this and stop forcing themselves on guys
Yes, it goes both ways but we see more from the ladies because they are more emotional than us.
Yes, she is a work in progress and she is getting better day by day.
Thanks a lot bro.
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It's ok to be single. Being single can be a wonderful, rewarding experience filled with friends and loved ones. You should never judge yourself for being single by choice or by happenstance.
But if you do want to find someone maybe you should try having a single shred of empathy ..
@communitycoin did you ever love someone?
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