Mariska came into my life when I was around 20 or 21 years old. She was the new girlfriend of one of my best friends.
At the time, I lived in this small town in the Netherlands and my two partners in crime at the time worked with me and also partied with me. They were best friends since childhood, had another great friend who also worked with us and the three of them were sometimes playfully called the Three Musketeers by people who knew them. I was the fourth.

We hung out together after work, went to the same parties and clubs. In a spur of the moment, we'd jump in the car and drive to Belgium on a Sunday evening after work, to get to a nightclub that was quite popular (and still is, it still exists). Or we'd leave our weekly club in my hometown at four in the morning and drive to Rotterdam, to keep the party going. The three or four of us would share days at work after not sleeping at all, or maybe an hour or so. I was the only one at the time who was living on my own, while the rest of them were still at home. Because of this, their parents saw me as the 'ring-leader' and even a bad influence on them, while it was really the other way around, and since I was always the designated driver (didn't want it any other way) I was the one who made sure they all got home in one piece. Trust me when I tell you that was a task and a half at times...Crazy times.

Crazy how things go

My friend and I had a 'history' and there had always been 'something' but it never became more. I still call it my 'three-year-long-crush' and at the time things were complicated because we saw each other so often. So he had met a girl. And he had fallen for her, and now she was part of our group.

I wanted to hate Mariska, I really did, but from the first moment I met her, I knew I would never be able to. I'll never forget how she introduced herself to me, with a big, warm and genuine smile on her face, she stuck out her hand and said: 'So you're Miriam! Finally I get to meet you! I've heard so much about you!' There was nothing fake about her, she was genuinely happy to meet me and she was just always happy and smiling. We became friends right away.

Their relationship didn't last. I'm not sure how long, but less than a year, maybe only a few months. We were all so young and we were all just getting to know ourselves. However, somehow we all managed to keep the friendship going. We were still a group of crazy kids meeting almost weekly, and I'd see everyone, aside from Mariska, all the time at work.

Mariska and I would meet and hang out together sometimes. I got to know the dark side behind her everlasting smile.
Her relationship with her parents wasn't great. She'd tell me all about that, and we shared so many thoughts and feelings about our lives. It's really something, how you can meet people in the strangest circumstances, and become so close even if you never expected it. She was crazy, that girl. In a fun way. It was just always great to hang out with the group when she was around. The life of the party. Always.

Time went by

and we each started going our own way a bit more. One by one, we finished college or would start another education elsewhere. I had the opportunity to travel to Japan, and later to South East Asia, and I took it with both hands.
This was when we started to lose touch with each other and we didn't see each other for some time.

Fast forward 8 years

I had been in Asia for almost three years. I went back to Holland for a year, but just couldn't settle for the life there, so I left and moved to St. Martin and later Las Vegas. After 3 years in the US, I moved back to Holland. It wasn't much later when my dad was admitted to a nursing home because it had become too hard for my mother to take care of him. He had dementia, and I think we all ignored it for a long time until we really couldn't do it anymore. He posed a serious threat to my mother, and after a few weeks in a crisis home (which was a terrible place) due to an incident, he was finally placed in the nursing home where he lived until he died. One day, my mom told me about this girl that worked there. And she had asked about me because she knew me. It was Mariska! She had recognized the family name and asked if we were related. My mother gave me a phone number.

source

We met shortly after that, talked a few times on the phone, and it was almost as if we had never been apart. There was one big difference. We had both become mothers since. Her daughter was just a little older than mine. Tinkel was her name, after Tinkerbell...And this was absolutely the kind of name I would have expected to come from her.

She visited me on one occasion and we talked about all of our troubles in life, my relationship with my daughter's father and she about hers. I spoke to her about some things that had to do with my father, and she gave me some insights about the people there. Something I would have never known otherwise. We had so much in common. She'd been through some tough times. We met a few more times after that and then lost touch again when she moved to a different city and I moved to Ireland.

Three years ago

My friend in Holland organized a reunion party for the people who used to go to our local club.
I had to go and made plans to travel to Holland just for that. It was amazing. The music brought us all right back to where it all started and even the people were the same. Mariska was there with her new husband, they had just gotten married a little while before that and even had a daughter together. He seemed the perfect match and the night went by too fast of course. I was so happy for her that she had finally found happiness the way she deserved it.

We promised to stay in touch, and her husband made me promise to come to another party that he would organize. I never made it to that. It was the last time I would see Mariska.

Yesterday

By coincidence, I saw the message. Mariska's husband wrote on his Facebook timeline: "Heaven has another angel."
My heart skipped a beat. Of course, there was no real way of knowing that he was talking of her, but in my heart, I knew.
I haven't used Facebook much. Only really to keep in touch with friends, but I don't read their timelines on a daily basis.
I hadn't read anything about her, at all. I didn't know she was sick. She got sick and diagnosed with cancer in around the end of last year. As far as I could see, she got treatment and it got better, just a little. But things must have taken a bad turn, and now she's gone. I really can't believe it, not really. No, we didn't talk to each other for quite some time. But still, in the back of my mind, I always thought there would be some other reunion where we'd see each other again. Where I can just burst out in laughter because her laughter was so contagious. There are still so many things I would have liked to say. So many...but it's no use. No regrets...because she had none. There was a time when I loved her as a friend, and there were times when I loved her like a sister.
I'm glad that the last time I saw her was in such a happy place that brought us all back together. It is the way I want to remember her. No, we didn't see each other much. But I always kept her in my heart. And I always will. She's one of those...

Unforgettable... I love you, RIP my sweet friend