One Large Insect Changed My Life

It’s funny how something so small can take you in a new direction.

I’ve been living in a shitty “punk house” for over a year. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful structure. I can imagine it was once a luxurious family home. It’s spacious and has dark, carved woodwork. Basically it had the potential to look like this:

Over the years, it’s been abused by aggressive wall-punchers, parties and poor care in general. The exterior looks like a junk yard and the interior is cluttered and furnished with miss-matched patterns. Most of it was left behind from previous tenants or brought in from the side of the road. Now, it looks a bit more like this:

My bedroom is the only thing that has kept me there for so long (and the location - in the middle of Uptown AND a few blocks from the lakes.) The square footage is huge. A free parking spot, hardwood floors, my own private balcony, a walk in closet, another closet, ceiling-to-floor windows looking out over a big tree on the second floor and high ceilings. For $270 PER MONTH!!!! What?? Crazy deal, right? It seems impossible for Uptown.

And then...this guy showed up.

I have been flicking ants off of my body for a few weeks now and they’ve even started crawling into bed with me. But this thing was MONSTROUS. It may have even been the “Queen” ant.

There I was...relaxing on the couch until this bitch crawls right up to my face. It was almost like she was telling me “Claire. What are you doing here? This is my house now. My colonies are eating your walls and it won’t be long before this shit is condemned.”

This is where I draw the line. Bugs.

It’s true that humans adapt to their environment. When you live in trash, you feel like trash.

I’ve slept somewhere else 50% of the time I’ve lived there because I hate being there. I spend 10% of my time outside of the bedroom because the common areas feel disgusting.

So, I started looking at new apartments. I want a studio now because I am a clean person and I will never be able to control my roommates’ cleanliness. Guess how much actual nice Uptown apartments are? 4x what I pay now.

So I got to thinking; I barely ever go to work. I’m a Lyft driver. On average I make $20-30/hour. If I worked a 40 hour week, I’d have about $3,000+ per month. These uptown apartments would be affordable. I’m looking at shit like this:

I don’t work because I haven’t had an incentive to. I just think, “Meh, my rent is so fucking cheap. Why work when I can stay in my warm bed?” I didn’t work because I literally did not NEED to.

Now, in order to get into a place like this I need to have 2 months worth of pay stubs proving that I can pay rent.

Thank you, you grotesque and vile creature. You have opened my eyes to see that I’m better than this. I am better than working like...10 hours per week. I am better than a house that is falling apart!!!!

I AM BETTER THAN ANTS CRAWLING ON MY FACE!!!!!

Wish me luck on my moving endeavor 😉