The F*ckit List: Jumping out of a plane
Firstly, this is not an incorrect spelling of the word bucket. My instinctive impression of bucket list's was that they were for people who want to build sandcastles. Apparently there is more to it than that. However the F*ckit list is for people who have the ultimate direction in life and in doing so decide to hop on board below average to excellent idea's because the phrase "Yes, that seems like a good idea old boy", doesn't quite justify the event about to take place.
In this edition you will witness the pure stoke of a man be diminished to pure fear and regret in just under 0.2 seconds flat.
Tandem skydiving is basically inception. Normally you should have a parachute on your back when you jump out of a plane, but when in tandem you have a fully grown man strapped to your back (this is potentially the only occasion when you should have a fully grown man strapped to your back). Thankfully though, he then has a parachute attached to his back which means there's at least an 80% chance you won't need to be scraped off the floor when landing. This is a must. Always make sure someone has a parachute when skydiving.
Basically my old housemate amigo Evan, who is half Canadian, half Mexican, bought up the idea of hurling himself from the air on an idol Sunday afternoon. Ironically at that moment I was listening to Angus and Julia Stone's acoustic version of Big Jet Plane. At no point do either of them mention physically departing said plane, however I took this as a sign and with a loud F*CKIT! declared my list open for business. Evan rang the Legends at Geronimo in Busselton and we booked in to dive for the next day.
When we got there the death wish crew gave us a quick safety briefing which is basically along the lines of hold on tight and try not to vomit. I decided to take out the insurance policy, because if I died and I didn't have it my Mum would fucking kill me. After signing a few more forms, 10 minutes later we were on the plane and heading vertical.
At 14000 feet old mate opened the door. It was pretty windy, so I asked him to close it, but the bastard jumped out with Evan on his front. Obviously I was having none of that, so our kid on my back shuffled to the door and we jumped out after them.
Like a mission-impossible-esqe movie, we took a giant leap of faith. It was in this moment I remembered matey had earlier asked if I wanted to do flips and stuff, to which I had replied "the more, the merrier"! Not only did this response now alleviate our chances of catching the door bastards, it also sent my organs in the opposite direction of where they probably should have been inside my body.
Finally after 60 seconds of freefall, bro love, and 8000 skaka's, our parachute opened and we headed for landing. Thankfully Evan held in the vom for the purpose of filming. #pureclass.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the unexaggerated story of my skydive and in the words of Forrest Macneil - I give this review 5 stars.
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