Turning away from things that make me feel "bad".

Time to focus on all things that feel good. I'm not running away from my problems. I've faced them already, but when there isn't much I can do other than keep working at it, why put any more focus into them. All the analysis and thought that could help has already been poured into them so I want to just write about some random things that make me happy right now

wow

• I've found joy in moving my body around in a kind of unraveling set of postures, a slow motion dance that looks like I'm trying hard to imitate Qi Gong but have no idea what I'm doing. I can literally feel and hear my muscles relaxing themselves and it's become a huge help in the healing my back issues. I've also been inspired to start massaging my legs right before bed because my circulation isn't great and I imagine the better blood flow to the furthest extremities will help the healing process.

• I'm working up my energy and my courage to start conversations with anyone who I want to have conversations with. I still don't talk to someone if I have nothing of interest to say, but as soon as I feel there is something I'd like to say I say it. This is harder in a country where people generally don't talk to strangers, but it's worked just fine so far and I like redefining myself in this environment.

• I'm working on being more playful too. I have a tenancy to have 2 distinct modes, serious and silly, and I don't mix these very well. This is not always what I want to express. I'd like to be able to share things of importance without it being too heavy. If i can merge these two, I feel I'll be unstoppable!

• Reading manga to practice Japanese again! It's been 4 years since I've studied, I thought I forgot a lot more than I did. So much is coming back to me. I've picked up 2 books of Homologous which is a manga my friend recommended me about a man who can talk to the "inner child" of others, at least that's how he described it. Fantastic premise! Sounds like something I wanted to write! I will start it later today.

• I've made a decision to stay close to the city. IN the city is not necessary but I need to be able to spend weekends here. The life I want is where I spend my weekdays working and then after work I can focus on finishing my 2 novels and my album for 2-3 hours a day. I've taken about 2 weeks to readjust and focus on job hunting, but I don't exactly need all my free time to do job hunting since there are only 2-3 jobs worth applying to a day, and only on weekdays, so I want to pick up the guitar and the pen again. And I know I keep saying it but get more involved at steemit.

• Art projects: First will be Confessions of the Damaged, which I am already posting up at Patreon, a novel I've mentioned many times, about the invisible strings that tie everything together, and a rhythm in everything. This is already 80% finished, just needs some filling in. Second is called Invisible Strings which is a collection of folk-ish songs I've been working on for almost 8 years, learning to record so I can arrange it the way I'd like. The songs are written but need some more work. And third will be this epic Sci-Fi story which I have only started working on. I've got other ideas for music as well.

• Steemit Language Learning series has been picked up by a big group at steemit for collaboration. I'm excited about this, I think it will drop in the next few days. I'm going to get to work on this too so I don't fall behind! The first 4 articles are already written!

• I am excited at the new friends I am making here. They are much more what I had been looking for the first time around, experimental and full of ideas. Some old friends have showed themselves to be much more in line with my beliefs and lifestyle than I had previously thought. It wasn't that they were hiding it, it was that I didn't have the experiences to understand them 6 years ago and now I do. I knew our politics and worldview weren't that far off, I just hadn't realized how close they were. These friends are about 10 years older than I am, so it's nice to have these new younger friends in contrast to some older friends who can help me imagine my future.

• It seems that not every position is in April. A job in January is still a possibility, however small a possibility it may be. Just one position is enough if it's the right position.

• Crypto is still sagging. I sure hope we are not in for another year long bear market, but either way, I will be poised to have much more resources when they the market comes back. I'm in the process of withdrawing most of my emergency funds. Some will be for living expenses right now until I receive my first paycheck and then the rest will be put into crypto, doubling my crypto portfolio. I'm think 40% into bitcoin (because right now BTC is only 10% of what I hold), 20% into Neo and 40% into some of the more reliable coins outside the top 30....Icon, Elastos, Substratum, Power Ledger, Enjin, Ethos, INS, Deepbrain chain, Matrix AI, those are a few I am looking at, and there are a few more I want to know about. Let me know if there are any others I should research. I just hope my bank hurries up and sends me my money before the bull run!!!!

• Taking time every day (every hour) to reminds myself that this is all a projection of thoughts and emotions. Loving it for what it is.

Be well. I'm still charging but I'm back in the game!