Helping a friend...learning to let go!
How Long Does It Actually Take To Mend A Broken Heart?
According to a relationship counselor Interviewed by the Huffington post...it depends. It can take months, or even longer! Jacqui Manning lays out a list of ways to help people move past a break-up:
Feel the loss
Reach our for support
Plan ahead
Be open to reflection
Talk it out
For those of you who have read some of my previous posts...you know one of my best friends has been dealing with the aftermath of a bad breakup!
She went as far as to move to a different city...just to get away from the bad memories...and attempt to start over.
Well...just when we though she was making progress...through the magic of social media...she found out that her ex has a new girlfriend.
All of the previous progress went out the window.
She has slipped into an even deeper depression!
After talking with her...she decided she needed to come back home (for the weekend) and that maybe the move wasn’t the best idea.
She’s all alone in a new city...isolated and depressed.
So this weekend, another girlfriend and I made it our mission to try and make our sad friend feel better!
We started out our evening with a trip to the grocery store! Who doesn’t love eating their feelings after all!? (joking...kind of lol).
We filled our shopping cart with comfort foods...pizza, chips and dips, and ice cream! Then we headed back to our friend’s apartment.
One of my friends has always had an interest in Pagan traditions...she actually looked up an incantation to help cast away depression.
I’m not a believer...but since our sad friend seemed interested...I went along.
It actually helped us bond quite a bit! It took us on an adventure through the neighborhood looking for things like tree bark and rose petals! We even found a gazebo overlooking a lovely little lake.
We did our “spell”. We listened to music, pigged outnon junk food...and even got our friend into contemplating joining a dating site! Progress was made...and I just hope my friend can see the light at the end of the tunnel!
Oh my god! Help a friend in this situation is so hard. I mean, they belive that anybody can't understand what they're feeling and maybe that's true.
I believe they need move on in their time. Obviously wehave to help them and for me the best way to help her is giving her food haha. But no, seriously, show her that the world is soooo bigger and she can find somebody better.
Yeah..we talked a lot. I think she had depression before the break up too...which may have played a part in the demise of her relationship. We did point out that there are literally billions of guys out there! She’s cute and sweet...and has never had any problem finding a guy...she’s just still hung up on the ex...I guess it’s just going to take a little more time!
this is a show of true friendship, the effects of a breakup can live in our thoughts for a long time, I had a breakup that I still have a hard time erasing, the best thing for this type of case is to look for a lot of entertainment, many occupations that keep the mind away from those bad memories that do so much damage, plus some friends that give you a lot of love, there is a way out, I hope you get out of all this soon! Great friend, happy night... (I've never seen anyone cry over ice cream, so this might be a good idea)
I think the cheese dip had the most healing properties lol! But seriously...I hope she moves back. She has so many friends who love her here...it’s much better to get out there and fake it...until you’re actually over it...than to dwell on it.
my best wishes to her, she sure gets a person who really values her.
You girls are truly a friend indeed, your friend needs to understand that the worst needs to go for the best to come. Her ex is not the best for her and she should forget about him and focus on her future and happiness, good things comes naturally at the right time to those that are positive about themselves . Her right man will locate her at the right time. True love comes naturally
We tried to make her see that. I think she’s having a hard time feeling positive about herself right now. As friends...we are trying to show her how special she truly is! I know, eventually she will find someone who has no doubt that she is the one for him!
Its a very difficult situation to council a friend. its long and continuous process and require a lot of effort and time. but at the end it is always wonderful to help someone in need.
I just hope we are offering her the right kind of help. It seems as though only time can really heal her heart. We are just trying to be a positive distraction!
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