Criticism
Just a warning, this may be vulgar
Here is my raw point of view. I'm not saying it's right, or yours is wrong. This is just me.
One thing I have never handled well is criticism. I'm not sure where this comes from. Why I can feel the tears starting to form in my eyes the second someone has something critical to say towards me. Why DO I get so flustered, and angry, and upset over criticism that really isn't a big deal to most people?
Insinuating that I'm dumb or putting me down doesn't make me want to change or be better. You say you like who I am just the way I am, yet make all these critiques about me because you want me to be someone else. Maybe I'm not the one who should be doing self-reflection. Maybe Humans are not fucking perfect and we make fucking mistakes and don't deserve to be put down for the little things in life. Split milk is split milk, I never killed anyone. I wasn't stealing to buy drugs. Like why the fuck do people feel the need to be so damn demeaning all the time.
All I've ever wanted to do was make people happy. Maybe I am a bit of a people pleaser, and maybe it kinda stresses me the fuck out. But I have a tendency to put others feelings before my own. Which honestly sounds all selfless and shit, but it is literally one of the worst things you can do for yourself. Especially if you are pouring into people who literally drain the life out of you.
Relationships with others are a two way street and god knows Most my relationships are one-sided, with me pouring into them. What about me, what about when I need someone? What about when I feel alone and like I have nothing left to give? No one is there and I'm left to deal with it alone. There have been times in my life where I have felt that I had that one friend I could talk to. But for me, opening up is hard, and most of the bridges were burned. How do you talk to your best friend who rather spend her time on drugs than you. How do you talk to someone who used to be a close friend, but then betrayed you and rubbed it in?
SO WHY IS IT, that I DO NOT HANDLE CRITICISM?
I'm sensitive, always have been. When I was younger I was just quiet. Even now I still am. Just silent. I've been through so much traumatic shit I can't wrap my mind around it. And I'm trying. Lord knows I'm trying. But it feels like it is never good enough for people.
You may be wondering, "damn, what set her off?"
a few careless emails/messages from a few people the last couple days that were hurtful and made me feel like shit.
You never know what someone is going through. So if it doesn't NEED to be said, why say it?
You really don't know how much impact a few words can have. A few words can change everything.
yours fucking truly,
truthtalks
truthtalks
https://steemit.com/@truthtalks
January 24th, 2018
That is one hell of a hectic post, that hits way closer to home than I would like to admit.
A lot of what you put down resonates with what I feel a lot. Yes I've learned to deal with it a bit better (See my Breathe post), but things like these still leave an impact.
Like the relationship thing I never got out what I put in (well once), I might be pouring myself in to others to quickly when I trust them... but that's just me, it's all or nothing. I am always myself I never feel the need to fake to be someone else... Not everyone can deal with that.
And what I gather from your post is that basically people are talking down to you for being a good person... This says more about them then about you... I would love to say "don't mind them, you be you" but from experience I know that does not help...
Best I can say is... You are a good person and you are not alone
Thank you for your honest reply. Knowing that this feeling resonates with others makes me feel like less of an alien.
I kinda discovered that no matter how you feel, there most likely will be someone else feeling the same. When someone confirms that it always helps a little. In Dutch we have a saying that goes like "Shared pain is half pain"I think that that to a certain degree is true
I hate that you ever feel this way. I am always here for you if you need to talk, vent or cry. I love you more than you can understand.
Criticism hurts me too, I wish it didn't but it does, why someone would feel so desperate to lift themselves up by putting someone else down I will never understand.
I think I can't handle criticism, because I so easily accept the criticism given, it is like, well if they all say it, it must be true, when it really isn't.
Thank you for the post it's made me think and reflect on this myself.
I easily accept it as well, as if it is true, when really it is just an opinion.
You are not alone. Thank you for writing your heart out here.
the writing is good enough. thanks for shring.
I felt sad reading this because I also struggle handling criticisms. This is such an emotional and honest point of view and tbh, this post is indeed raw. Like you, I'm also new here at steemit but I've never seen a post this pure. I hope you keep posting things like this cause I need more of it. You are worth to follow.
Thank you. I really want to use this blog in way that I can post this raw side of me. I feel like people close themselves off to the world and have to keep shit together all the time. But it's okay to not be okay. Society just tells a different story.
Hi, mate!
Not all people can be human. In reality, most people are vicious, rude, weak. It is weakness that breeds violence and aggression. In Christianity, this is called the original sin ...
I understand your pain and most likely its causes lie in childhood. The fact that you so frankly write about your experiences already makes you much stronger, you are doing everything right! I, too, often experience stress communicating with people, I want to see more good and openness in them, but desires and reality rarely coincide.
I'm helped by the study of philosophy and religion, for example:
Matthew 7: 6
Also, if you study humandesign, you will understand how you are arranged, how you function, I'm sure it will greatly simplify your life!
Remember, it wasn't anybody's fault.
I wish you all the best!