RE: Is there more to life than this? Join the Alpha Course for a share of the SBD from this series of posts
Dear @maninayton, Many thanks for your answer, for reading my posts and engagement in the discussion some more.
If you want to understand how the map of consciousness was found, I suggest you read the books written by David Hawkins himself. He is a psychiatrist MD who did a PhD. I believe they teach this to psychologist as I know the psychologist that I have been seeing knows about it. However, I see that you write about mental health, so you may be in a related field of psychology and know more than I do about what you study.
However this is not to convince you of its validity or anything. Speaking from my experience, this map made a lot of sense to me and was the most important stepping stone in reaching my current state of happier living and peacefulness.
As for your questions
Why do you feel the need to have a god of any kind at all? Why do you need some kind of overseer to enable you to live your life?
In my personal life, beside the abuse of religious brainwashing, I lived a very tough life for a long time. There was a lot of psychological and physical abuse, to name few. I am happy to answer your personal question as I started writing my personal story, if you are interested to read it for more understanding of where I come from. You can find it here, Part 1 and Part 2
But the answer to your questions in a nutshell is, my need to have a "God" of any kind is not because I want an overseer that enables me to live my life, but because I need to be set free to live my life while knowing that I am loved for who I am and protected because I am loved and worth this love (Things I have never felt back at home, neither I felt it when I came to Canada). Such unconditional love is hard (if not impossible) to obtain from another human being.
I have been living alone for the past 10 years in Canada, fighting my own demons from within. Having true freedom from the guilt and fear, the number 1 enemies to a woman that was raised on strict religious rules yet living (and wanting to blend) in a society where all these rules do not exist, is extremely difficult. Not only that, the existing rules to belong to this society are the opposite of what she has been taught.
Love, peace and trust is what I want to believe in "God" for.
Hello again. I read your posts and although I have (luckily) no experience of the kinds of things you must have gone through, my admiration for your bravery in breaking free has increased tremendously. I will attempt to do some reading of Dr Hawkins's publications as you suggest but I'm pleased that he has helped you find happiness and peace.
Although you say your god gives you unconditional love I would question that. Do you not feel that you are being watched and judged all the time by this god? Isn't your god still ruling your life to some extent? Are you really 'free'? Lots of questions I know and I'm sorry if I'm pushing you but I find it fascinating to talk to someone with your background and experiences.
On a personal note. I'm not a health professional of any kind. My writing on mental health stems from my having a son with autism and how it has affected him and my family. I have also suffered from mental health issues myself so it is a subject with great meaning for me.
I have followed you to keep up with your story. Until next time - take care of yourself.
Dear @maninayton, Many thanks for your kind words of support and encouragement and thank you for the follow and upvote.
I am very happy to discuss this topic with you as well. It only make me grow more by having different perspectives and understanding, so please don't feel any hesitation to ask anything in your mind. I will answer you to the best of my ability. However, I would like to say that some answers will become clearer as I write my personal story and how I reached where I am now and why.
As for your questions:
The answer is, I used to feel that way but not any more now. My God is not ruling my life anymore but is guiding me when I ask for his guidance. I may not be completely free from all the old BS I was taught for a long time (the fears, the anxiety and the lack of trust comes back from time to time) but I am getting better to deal with them and neutralize my negative feelings, as long as I am feeling the love and support of my "God"
It is hard to explain it in words I guess. But I hope as you get to know my story, it may give you an insight of what I think or feel now. Actually, that was the number 1 reason I decided to write my personal story. To convey a message about my "God" that I can't convey otherwise.
Thanks again for engaging me in the discussion and for your support :)