Depression is a dark cloud...
... one that looms over a person with this feeling of an impending doom. Some days it's brought on by nothing. Other days, it's simply made worse by the stress of daily life. It isn't something there's a cure for. It isn't something one can just wish away or ignore.
Depression can make things you once cared a lot about seem like pointless ventures. It will sap one's desire to eat, to be productive, or to care for those around them. It will destroy all sense of self. Depression will make one not care about the fact that they haven't showered in days, and creates a vicious desire for anything that might make it go away, even for a couple hours.
Depression is a mental illness, not a state of being. A depressed person can seem almost "happy" on the surface at times, but the storm is still underneath, biting at one's self-confidence. It can destroy relationships with others. It can ruin careers. It can kill...
Depression is a constant struggle, and it's fought one day at a time, because planning the future becomes impossible when one can't care what it holds. It is made much harder by people who don't understand it for what it is. Some seem to think depression is just someone being in a bad mood, and that all they need to do is get over it. I'm here to tell you it doesn't work that way. One can be in an amazing place in life, with nothing to be "upset" about, and feel the pangs of depression.
It's often taken personally by loved ones when seemingly nothing can be done to improve the mood of the depressed. This, again, is a misunderstanding of what depression actually is. It's often a literal chemical imbalance that prevents one from processing the regular "feel good" drugs a normal brain produces, and pharmeceuticals often just hide the symptoms.
Depression is a terrible feeling, but it's one that many of us have learned to live with and adapt to. Thank you very much for reading this. I just had to get some words out into the world. I feel a tiny bit better now...
I am sorry to to hear of your suffering. If there is something physically active you can do out in nature that brings you pleasure, it can help to refocus your mind away from the cycle of thoughts in your mind. If you can catch your mind going down the negative thought path before you are overtaken by it, you can circumvent it. Try closing your eyes and envisioning where your hands are in space in front of you. Focus intensely on your physical body and the location of where they are in space. There will be a sensation of a warm, buzzing feeling. Focus on it and hold that feeling as long as possible. Soon you will realize you are no longer thinking of the thoughts which are depressing you. It's a start.
Thank you for your kind words and advice.
Dark clouds come and then the sun follows. Depression can also ease and happiness can follow. When you find yourself feeling down, blogging and getting it out can help a tiny bit, like today, but I bet tickling little Vincent's tummy, seeing his smile and hearing him giggle could do a lot of good. Hang in there friend.
You're incredibly kind. Carlin and Vincent are the light that brightens a cloudy day. They are my reason for living.
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I am well aware of your discomfort and agree with @designsurfer's suggestion. Grounding or 'earthing' as it is called is useful to me also.
5 days ago I wrote a poem for the VOICESHARES POEM CONTEST
The theme being: Suicide is not and option.
Within this poem, is my grounding suggestion that has helped me and may help you also.
Thanks for your advice. I had no idea about @voiceshares before now. Thank you for that also.
My pleasure @thatsweeneyguy.
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