" Perfect behavior is born of complete indifference. Perhaps this is why we always love madly someone who treats us with indifference. "
― Cesare Pavese
Few things attract more the human brain than scarcity and novelty. Upon smelling desperation, especially when it involves romantic love, human beings have a tendency to get repelled by it. In fact, desperation acts in a way that is contrary to the principle of scarcity - by being too available, we lose our appeal in the eyes of others. On the other hand, the promise of intermittent rewards gets our brain firing like crazy. Not knowing when we’ll get a reward excites the shit out of us. That’s the model upon which all social media platforms are built. No wonder why they have the upper hand on us.
Like rats pawing for cocaine, we stay in line impatiently waiting for our brain to hit the dopamine jackpot. This is why when intermittent rewards make their way into the game of romantic love, our level of interest increases. Intermittent rewards abide by the rules of mystery, and not knowing why or how our prospect lover hasn’t replied to us yet stimulates the excited neurons in our brains.
Contrary to desperation, indifference has the advantage in that it keeps our brain in a state of limbo.
Puzzled by the indifference displayed by someone we share an interest toward, curiosity strikes. And in case you know a thing or two about curiosity, it gets along pretty well with novelty. We love to discover new human faces and personalities, but we unconsciously love it even more when we quite can’t figure out how they operate. Our patience is put to the test, and we love to hate that we’re powerless in those moments where mystery runs the show.