Romantic Desperation Fails - Indifference Attracts

in #life3 months ago

" Perfect behavior is born of complete indifference. Perhaps this is why we always love madly someone who treats us with indifference. "
Cesare Pavese

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Few things attract more the human brain than scarcity and novelty. Upon smelling desperation, especially when it involves romantic love, human beings have a tendency to get repelled by it. In fact, desperation acts in a way that is contrary to the principle of scarcity - by being too available, we lose our appeal in the eyes of others. On the other hand, the promise of intermittent rewards gets our brain firing like crazy. Not knowing when we’ll get a reward excites the shit out of us. That’s the model upon which all social media platforms are built. No wonder why they have the upper hand on us.

Like rats pawing for cocaine, we stay in line impatiently waiting for our brain to hit the dopamine jackpot. This is why when intermittent rewards make their way into the game of romantic love, our level of interest increases. Intermittent rewards abide by the rules of mystery, and not knowing why or how our prospect lover hasn’t replied to us yet stimulates the excited neurons in our brains.
Contrary to desperation, indifference has the advantage in that it keeps our brain in a state of limbo.

Puzzled by the indifference displayed by someone we share an interest toward, curiosity strikes. And in case you know a thing or two about curiosity, it gets along pretty well with novelty. We love to discover new human faces and personalities, but we unconsciously love it even more when we quite can’t figure out how they operate. Our patience is put to the test, and we love to hate that we’re powerless in those moments where mystery runs the show.

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I remember one or two "stalker" women from highschool. She married the guy she was stalking then and I think they are still happily married. She was always totally available to him and now they are happily married I think. I think it works better for the women than it does guys. Guys will get friendzoned. :(

is it just me or that's kind of creepy af? depending on how exactly she was stalking him though. Fb stalking is harmless but if it's taken to a real life level that's so strange. LOL i guess the guy may have liked feeling he was worth being stalked...

It was a little bit creepy but she was a girl and they new each other and she wasn't showing up at his house or anything it's just everybody in the school knew she was in love with him and he ended up marrying her and I think they have a good marriage.
Happy wife happy life. lol

This is totally true and important for people to know. Players, casinos, even many politicians and religious leaders know about Operant Conditioning and if we don't want to be manipulated, we should know about it too!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operant_conditioning

Operant conditioning
Operant conditioning (also called instrumental conditioning) is a type of associative learning process through which the strength of a behavior is modified by reinforcement or punishment. It is also a procedure that is used to bring about such learning.
Although operant and classical conditioning both involve behaviors controlled by environmental stimuli, they differ in nature. In operant conditioning, stimuli present when a behavior is rewarded or punished come to control that behavior.

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