There is no evidence of narcissism. There is a strong desire for self worth. You have expressed the desire to be a positive influence on the world. This is not narcissistic, in fact it is quite the opposite. A narcissist only cares about their growth and appearance to others, seeing themselves as the temple everyone else should worship. You see your self as someone who can potentially lift up those around them.

You also expressed a desire to be in control of your own destiny. This is a natural feeling I think, because we all have a natural tendency to fear the unpredictable chaos around us. If we can't control it, we don't know what is going to happen and that is truly frightening. It is actually healthy to want and to actively try and control things in our environment, but within reason. There are degrees of this phenomenon that can tread too far into a form of psychological dysfunction. A form of this dysfunction can be embraced, or contracted if you will to another entity. By believing in something that has full control and has your good in mind for example. That being is comforting because it exists in that chaos, and is taking care of it for you. Whether that person be god, some other you, or some other mystical power, the desire to have them control all of the things you know deep down you can't is a way to still feel fully secure from the chaos. It is perfectly fine to hold such beliefs, but only when you also accept that these beliefs may not be true. If you cannot, then you are deliberately sheltering your self from the chaos with your own imagination.

In order to be certain you are not fooling your self, here is the mantra you must maintain:

You must be able to accept the possibility that there is no reason or purpose to anything. That there is no universal will, no god, or any caretaker over the chaos. That you are here entirely by chance and every past event in your life was strictly based on all of the other random events that led up to it without any particular goal in mind. Our planet is but a single grain of sand of a massive desert, and our species' entire time line is a single flicker of light from the sun upon that grain. Your existence, and that of your species will very likely never amount to anything, nor even be noticed by anything else ever.

The above mantra while cold and unyielding, is the absolute form of the chaos that we cannot prove is false. The more strongly you do not want this to be possible, the more you must will it upon your self, like any other fear. So long as you can face this chaos head on, then you are not fooling yourself, or hiding from the fear associated with it that resides in all of us. It is only when you can truly embrace this mantra head on, that you will be free. Free to live on your terms, and nobody else's.

The rest of the piece is simply historical, and there is no reason to claim you have any psychological phenomenon based on sharing them.