Just harden up and deal with it!steemCreated with Sketch.

in #life7 years ago (edited)

Some of the stuff going down on Steemit at the moment is causing a few freak outs. But compared to stapling up your scrotum with a staple gun, after ripping out a testicle, it's really not all that bad.

For some reason this story has always cracked me up. In fact when I first read it, I printed a copy of it out and put it in a shop window. It actually attracted a crowd. Sometimes we all just need a good laugh at somebody else's expense.

AN UNUSUAL CASE by William A. Morton, Jr, MD (From an actual medical journal)

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image - http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a8370377/i-got-botox-in-my-scrotum-scrotox

One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other than to say that he “needed a doctor who took care of men’s troubles.” The patient, about 40, was pale. febrile, and obviously uncomfortable, and had little to say as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of angry red and black-and-blue scrotal skin. After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to remove his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards of foul-smelling stained gauze wrapped around his scrotum, which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender.

A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood, extended down the left scrotum. Amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various exudates, I saw some half-buried dark linear objects and asked the patient what they were. Several days earlier, he replied, he had injured himself in the machine shop where he worked and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy duty stapling gun. The dark objects were one-inch staples of the type used in putting up wallboard. We x-rayed the patient’s scrotum to locate the staples; admitted him to the hospital; and gave him tetanus antitoxin, broad-spectrum antibacterial therapy, and hexaclorophrene sitz baths prior to surgery the next morning.

The procedure consisted of exploration and debridement of the left side of the scrotal pouch. Eight rusty staples were retrieved, and the skin edges were trimmed and freshened. The left testis had been avulsed and was missing. The stump of the spermatie cord was recovered at the inguinal canal, debrided, and the vessels lifated properly, though not much of a hematoma was present. Through-and-through Penrose drains were sutured loosely in site, and the skin was loosely closed. Convalescence was uneventful, and before his release from the hospital a week later, the patient confided the rest of his story to me.

An unmarried loner, he usually didn’t leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his coworkers. Finding himself alone, he began the regular practice of masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery. One day, as he approached orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt. When his scrotum suddenly became caught between the pulley-wheel and the drive-belt, he was thrown into the air and landed a few feet away. Unaware that he had lost his left testis, and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the wound close and resumed his work. I can only assume he abandoned this method of self-gratification.

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image - http://www.automatedconveyors.com/slider-bed-belt

Now how bad was being flagged again? :)

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MY WHOPPING GREAT STEEMIT SIGNATURE

Because sometimes I like to do short posts with pictures, art, photos, and funny stuff, and then there is bugger all in my post, I need a whopping great signature to put at the bottom of my short posts to give them some beef.

On my longer posts I’m really just including it to go on about myself, but what the hell, we all need to blow our own trumpet sometimes.

@cheetah likes to point out that I’m plagiarising my own signature, but he is also voting for me, and a vote is a vote, so I’ll call that a good thing.

@sift666 is my Steemit alias. As 666 is the number following 665 and preceding 667, and I’m using the number here on my Steemit account, it might mean I’m a worshiper of Satan. Or it could indicate that I have troll tendencies I need to work out with myself.

My real name is Ian Gregson, aka wheels007. I’m a professional sifter from Wellington New Zealand. My interests include photography, conspiracies , web design, writing, nutrition, art, design, philosophy, technology, anarchy, health, computers, humour (humor), gratuitous arse shots, and anything that makes my eyes bulge while I make squeaking sounds (except torture).

Back in the glory days of Steemit (August 2016), I once made $404 for a post and went on a three day bender. It took months to work off the after effects of the hangover and I’m still attempting to understand how that ever happened.

I’m currently developing a new website portal to rival Steemit called www.frot.co.nz where I’m testing out a new feature called “frottage” that may revolutionise blogging and create a global paradigm shift.

Photos and pictures labeled @sift666, www.sift.co.nz or www.frot.co.nz are my own creations, while pictures with no credits are sometimes ones I found in my image collection and have no idea where they originally came from, or might be my own photos that I haven't put a signature on.

Otherwise, due to pressure to conform, I’m having a crack at including an image credit beneath each picture I copy off the internet. I do have opinions on this subject, but am practicing putting a sock in it.

To tell the truth I often have no idea what I’m going to post next, but I will be sure to include pictures. If you are a person who prefers mainstream opinion, my posts may not be entirely your cup of tea. But if you like to dwell on the wild fringes of conspiracy theory, or you are a whale with a massive blowhole, you might like to follow me on Steemit. It would be great to have you on board.

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Visiting you and deb one day has made my list of life goals, f%$cking A, haha! There is nothing like a picture of an ass and balls to enjoy with your morning coffee. My husband would love you.

Awesome - glad to have made your morning more enjoyable! :)

NZ has 10x more sheep than people!

Shift! Man! I am in pain!!!!!! I am trying to laugh at this but my balls don't allow me!!
I will be thinking all day about this.

This is what nightmares are made of!

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