What the last election should teach us about relationships and communication
The Human Race
The human race has had to adapt countless times in the last 30 years; I expect this isn’t the end of it either. Over the last three decades we’ve seen the rise of the microcomputer, the rise of the microprocessor, and we are currently in the age of ubiquitous computing. When I studied computers at University they theorised that modern technology would soon be all around us and plumbed into our houses like our utilities are, and I think it’s safe to say that we’re in the thick of this age now. Most of us can’t go a day without checking the Internet or driving our computerized vehicles. A lot of change has happened over the span of three decades.
For us we’ve seen a dramatic change in the way that we forge relationships and the way we communicate with one another. When I was a child I had to walk long distances to meet up with some of my friends, and we’d often be found playing on our bikes, climbing trees, or having a game of soccer. Communication for us was what it was; we talked to one another face to face and dealt with our problems head on. Our relationships were forged by being in the presence of one another and having that essential human contact.
Change via Technology
It’s taken a huge swing from that way of life now. I communicate with most of my friends over the internet. I can find out where they are instantly by calling them over their mobile phone, and our relationships are more often than not handled by communicating online. On the surface, it’s all really good; we’re in contact more now than we have ever been and we can make friends across the globe. It’s pretty neat.
On the flip-side though we’ve seen a dramatic rise of stubbornness and people less open to new information. The internet is a great resource for finding absolutely everything you need to on a subject, but it’s also a great resource for confirming our own biases. It seems that we are more and more preferring to confirm our biases than to look to be challenged. Facebook is a great example of that. People are essentially creating echo chambers of others agreeing with one another; creating resilience to outsider opinions. What happens when such a thought is challenged from an outsider? You can block or shame them, and not even a consideration to question the authenticity of their source, or why this person is thinking this way.
The result?
People like Donald Trump rise to power.
Argh! Donald Trump!
It sounds stupid saying that he’s America’s new white-power president, but a lot of people are unhappy. When they try to voice their concerns they are slapped down by the echo chambers of different opinions; even worse that people are becoming more fragile over just hearing a difference of opinion. What was once tolerated as a natural part of life has now become intolerable because many people are aren’t used to being disagreed with. We all had that one racist relative that we just ignored when he went on his stupid rants.
I had a friend delete me and resign our friendship over a disagreement—15 years strong our friendship was, and it was gone in a flash because of a minor disagreement. It’s all too easy to do that now. It's all too easy to not listen to others or hear out disagreeable ideas. What happens when no one is listening to you, yet a person in near-power comes along and voices what you've been thinking for years? It all takes shape, biases and prejudices are confirmed and you can run for the hills with your ideas. The president agrees. You must be spot on.
We—you and me and the media—tackled that situation all wrong. If we had been open to sitting down with people that were feeling disenfranchised and just listening to them; asking what their fears and needs were instead of demonising them, then the outcome may have been a lot better, who knows? It’s the basic principle of communication and negotiation, isn’t it? You sit at a table and discuss the needs and wants of the other person before you discuss your requirements so you both can meet in the middle. Politicians don’t do that anymore. They sit there and rub their hands together as they create massive divisions between us, and I'm sure they know what they are doing; we are at our weakest when we're battling each other and not those that seek to oppress us. I'm making a personal note to stop now. To educate with a smile, rather than to spit hatred and anger.
We should unite
Where does that leave us? Well, we should be united in thought for one thing—because we all strive for the same ideal. You can’t get a community where everyone agrees with each other on everything, but fundamentally our core messages should be the same. We all want to be respected, treated honestly, and listened to. If the last election has taught me anything it’s that people need to be listened to more and respected by their fellow neighbours regardless of their crazy prejudices. It’s not just up to the Politicians and Media to teach us how to think, we should be doing enough of that for ourselves. I'm going to be that one western heterosexual white male that gives others a moment to think; maybe we aren't all that way. I challenge everyone of like-mindedness to do the same. Put a spanner in your stereotypes! Lead by example, prove people wrong.
It’s up to us to educate people and not demonize them. Are you particularly receptive when you're demonized? Allow different opinions into your friend feed; thoughts that challenge the very core of your existence and why you 'are' as a person. If you aren’t continually challenging your own reality and listening to other people that take a different perspective to your worldview then I suggest you start now.
Listen
Listening to others, tolerating their opinions, and trying to see it from their perspective is the way to go.
Stop demonizing people. Because you get people like Donald Trump and Theresa May in charge when you do that.
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you have extensively taken the pain to exhibit this post, you gave it out at the right time, i value it
Thank you :)
you had no phone as a child?
Not a mobile phone, no - dark ages for me I'm afraid!
"Stop demonizing people. Because you get people like Donald Trump and Theresa May in charge when you do that."
you seem to be demonizing Donald Trump and Theresa May
Oh no, not at all - I'm just trying to convey that when large groups try and stamp out ideas instead of listen to them, then Politicians that push a narrative that we thought had long been extinct rise to power and then suddenly that which was unacceptable is now acceptable.
Interesting approach ..the technological revolution be it internet or other forms of communication has shaped us the way we are today. It is good and bad at the same time. We also must learn again to listen and communicate with those of different opinions then ours. That is absolutely the key to breaking this barrier that divides us. But as “divide et impera” was and still is the modus operandi of the big powers I also think they took it to another level. It was mainly used in the past at least as a strategy for conquering different cultures. Now a days they started to brainwash the population internaly through mass media and social media and low level of education, so that no matter the discussion some have become the victims of their manipulation, be it right far right or left far left wing. We are all in this together and weather we like what we see or not change has to come in some way and we might just have to start to listen and learn from our own mistakes. The post was great & I will be following as well! Keep in touch!
Thank you! Great reply. Yes. It really doesn't matter the Political sway; I keep saying we are more alike than not alike. When you begin to label yourself as a Political sway then you are a victim of "divide et impera" and I'm beginning to see this more often than not.
I see people saying, "I'll never be friends with a republican" - hell, some of my best friends are republicans/conservatives. I'm not going to identify my friends just as a Political sway. They are so much more :)
Democracy in contrast to socialism, was always a political scene where people of different beliefs can express their own opinions and work together into creating a fare democratic society. The fact that they took it to another level, and by they I am refering to the people that benefit from these loop holes of division, is nothing more than shameful. I truly hope that people will learn to appreciate the true democratic values of the society and stop, as you put it, demonizing those of different beliefs. We are in fact all in this together as you and I know and I’m sure many more understand that your political visions are just opinions that we can discuss in a more constructive way rather then destructive one. And yes I have many friends of different political views, but as long as I listen and learn I will never let division in any conversation.
Well said :)