How to build self confidence and learn to be successful

A lot of people lack confidence. More than you can imagine. Maybe you’re one of them.

Some of these people appear confident on the outside, but on the inside they are nervous. They have huge dreams and goals, but they’re stuck in frozen fear and inertia. With other people it's obvious they lack confidence. It shows in the way they talk, the way they look, the way they interact with others. It is like they are yelling, “I’m not good enough.”

Confidence is a very attractive quality. But low confidence is not, its often off-putting, and sadly this truth makes the one without it feel even worse about themselves. Most of us have had moments of low confidence from time to time. Some suffer with it daily. And then there are those who seem to have healthy self-confidence all the time.

Why? Why are some people brimming with confidence and others not?

When you lack confidence, it feels as though confident people have some special gift. They won the genetic lottery to success and happiness, while everyone else struggles for a bit of self-respect and motivation. Some may inherit there lack of confidence to some extent, but people lack confidence for all kinds of reasons — past failures, childhood issues, having a bad day. Really, does the “why” of the confidence factor really matter that much?

The “why” doesn’t matter because the truth is, confidence is a skill that can be learned. It’s a skill with actionable steps to be practiced and mastered, just like any other skill. I think most people who lack confidence, really do desire to accomplish their goals and reach their dreams. They long for success, but they have some form of "fear of success". Their self-doubts and inertia make them regular and ordinary. But once they learn the skills of confidence, they’re eager to take action and move forward. Why would anyone long for success but push it away at the same time? It's very strange but most of us have done this, we get so close to the goal/prize, only to stop ourselves short.

Why do we do that? Why are we tripping ourselves up?

Success is more effort than failure.

Success requires that we really DO something. We have to work harder, stay on our game, deal with stress. And when we succeed, we must work to stay at the top for fear someone might try to push us off. The bar has been raised, and we can’t rest on our laurels.

Take steemit for example. Lets say our goal is to have that coveted whale status. As a minnow we would have to work hard to get out a steady stream of good content. Then watch as our follower counts start to rise. Slowly, everyday our pay rewards are getting higher and higher, as more and more users are viewing our content. Now, fast forward into the future, when you have a big reserve of steem power in your account and you are under the magnifying glass. Everyone wants your upvote. They are critical if you vote on seemingly random posts. They vilify you if you dare down vote anything. All of a sudden every sentence in every post you write better be accurate beyond scrutiny, or it will be picked apart in the comments. So, How does success sound now??

There will always be new pressures and demands once you achieve a goal. Success gives you a huge boost in confidence, but it’s not for the faint of heart. We can’t succeed at something and remain the same person. Success requires that we grow and expand. Success raises us to a higher level which makes others perceive us differently and makes us view ourselves in a new light. Success might push us into a different financial position or require we surround ourselves with different people. Sometimes we must change our ideas and beliefs.

Here are a few strategies to help you build confidence and ultimately bring on success:

-(1) Improve in areas that your already good at. (2) Put them into practice. (3) See results (4) Grow more confident (5) Repeat

-Begin to view yourself as worthy of success. Some people write it in an affirmation. Day dream about success, picture yourself in successful situations. You may not feel it at first, but you are sending powerful messages to your brain.

-Acknowledge all of the positives of succeeding. Success brings many rewards, not the least of which is improved confidence.

-Practice the follow through. Think about times in the past you’ve sabotaged your success and how you did that. Use these experiences to help you see where you’ve fallen short and where you need to follow through.

-Ask for support. When you feel the tension and anxiety of an upcoming success, reach out to a friend and ask for support and accountability as you cross the finish line. Everything is less scary if there are two of you.

-Accept that any positive change that comes even if it has some negative consequences. As you grow and your life changes other unexpected things change. People may view you differently. Even your circle of friends may change.

Don't allow fear of change to stop you because once you have a taste of success, your fears will lift and you’ll have more confidence and motivation to move on to your next great adventure.

Cheers,
Luc