Poverty and Debt Nearly Killed Me.
3 years ago I found myself lying on the sofa barely able to lift my arms, my legs ached as i felt my heart struggling to beat. I knew I should go to hospital yet that would mean spending the last of my money to get home afterwards. Money that was designated to get bread and milk for the childrens breakfasts that week. I ate the four tangerines in the fruit bowl in front of me then went to sleep, praying the extra energy and the inactivity of sleep would be enough to get me through until the morning when i could walk to the doctors office.
The next morning i felt better enough to think clearly and knew exactly what had been wrong with me the night before. I was starving! For weeks I had been cutting down my food intake to ensure there was enough for the children. The tangerines had been the first thing I had eaten in 4 or 5 days. I was too ashamed to go to the doctors so I ate some some toast, swallowed my pride with each bite before phoning my mum to ask for help.
Now before I go any further I want to make it perfectly clear that this post is not written with the intention of garnering sympathy votes, This is simply my experiance of poverty and how 1 incident led to my finances spiraling out of control. My situation is better now! Those debts are gone and I'm now working towards a better future.
Up until my husband passed away life had been pretty smooth, but with all the debts in my name, a drop in income to less than a quarter of what we had together and no life insurance (we where newly married in our mid 20's it simply hadn't crossed our minds that we might need it) it became a nightmare
My doctor took me off the medication i had for postnatel depression because he thought it would impare my ability to grieve properly. This didn't help especially as everyone else who witnessed what happened was being treated for post trumatic stress disorder, before long i was barely coping with even the simplest task and fighting suicidal thoughts
When i eventually dragged myself out of that dark place my finaces where so bad, it became impossible to think beyond the next payday, I sold everything of even a little value but it barely made a dent in the debts. I juggled the bills as best i could but it wasn't enough to bring the debts down, before long i incured a bank charge of £26 for going 8p overdrawn, this made bills bounce,which incurred more charges from the bank and the companies that hadn't been paid the next month, which made things worse the next month, and so on, and so on.
Every waking moment my mind was consumed with keeping the roof over our heads and food in the kids stomachs. Each time I would start to get a grip on my finances something would happen to throw me back, landlords decided to sell so I'd scramble and borrow to get the money to move, I would get a job after job but there was still never enough to cover everything, the stress would show through silly mistakes and i would be let go.
My debt's kept growing as my budget kept shrinking! Slowly I stopped eating breakfast the food lasted longer for the children that way, before long i didn't notice that any more, then at somepoint lunch became a cup of coffee with a biscuit,eventually it was just a cup of coffee, as the children got bigger my dinners got smaller until i was having dinner once every other day. Then one morning a little over 5 years after my husband passed away i found myself looking back at the night before determined I would turn things around.
All pictures are sourced from pixabay and free for commercial use
Jings lass, I am glad things are better now but sad that you had such a tough time in your life! I look forward to reading more on how you turned it around. I had a fair amount of debt trouble myself when younger. So can totally understand that part.
It was tough, but it was the kids that got me through it and I know their are people who have had it far worse than i have.
I think most of us that grew up in the 80's and 90's have had debt trouble at some point.
Yeah, in Britain they were throwing it at us then. I couldnt believe I had two credit cards by the time I was 20. That was asking for trouble. The best of times,,,, the worst of times!
Born in the 80s here. I was lucky enough to fuck my credit by the time I turned 23. And by lucky I mean it! Can't imagine...the years were not kind here either. Was it awful 90's TV shows that did it or...were all messed
i think our parents had access to easy credit for the first time, so by the time we got to that point it was just normal to get credit. that and the second you applied to uni banks would fall at your feet with student credit knowing people very rarely change banks. if they got you then you where deemed likely to be a victim ...I mean customer for life.
Glad to hear things are better now:)
thank you.
The first of many posts about your story? Waiting with anticipation for your next one. Thanks for sharing this @phoenixmaid
There will be a few more opheliafu, but i don't want to dwell to much on that part of my life. I still struggle with depression so it's easy to slip into the dark place when i revisit it for to long.
Yes, I could understand that. It was beautifully written.
thank you.
Oh, my love...If I was visiting across the pond I'd give you a big hug and a hamburger. While my situation isn't as dire, I've managed the last month to keep the boys fed while I "diet". Not that I'm starving or going without, but my portions have gotten a lot smaller too. But we are recovering and I'll probably be back to my fluffy self again. What's saving us is the fact that two of my boys are young men with jobs and living with their dad. If I had all of them with me, I'd probably be feasting on ice cubes. What are child labor laws like in the UK? LOL
lol child labour is a no no much to diva pixies dismay she desperatly wants a saturday job.
This was 3 years ago now, a few months before i met you on bubblews actually. I'm still poor lol but the debts are pretty much paid off and I can now focus on improving our situation.
I know exactly what you went through we went through a terrible time ended up at the bottom then we got in touch with citizens advice who put us in the right direction. Where not debt free but in 5 years we will be plus the mortgage will be paid. I can then breath.
wll done and good luck with the rest you've earned a little breathing space.
Very powerful. I am glad you could stay strong through that. Very hard to endure the stress it can cause.
I didn't feel very strong at the time, but i can definatly say I'm a lot stronger now than I was.
Your story can help inspire someone who is dealing with adversity and I applaud you for baring yourself this way. I, too have shared the story of my downfall and I am still climbing to get out from the shadows of poverty. Thank you! Can't wait to hear the rest.
I read your story ealier I am so pleased to hear that things are improving for your family now. I wish you all the very best as you move forward together.