This is An Irresponsibly Lazy and Lackluster Post Headline that has Nothing To Do with Anything but I Did Take Some Pictures Today

in life •  2 months ago

Here are some things I took pictures of:

  1. The inside of a lens cap.
  2. The ground by accident with included foot.
  3. The sun by accident.
  4. A black cat mid-meow morning.
  5. The bird who likes to shit on things.
  6. Three cows looking the other way.
  7. A hay bale. (I said, "Hey bale." The hay bale did not respond.)
  8. Some really tall grass on the side of a road.
    To mow it down, you'd need an upside down helicopter because the grass grows in water.
  9. A fly humping another fly.
  10. A warm glass of orange juice.
  11. Some oranges that looked like they were murdered by an amateur.
  12. A flower that had a hummingbird near it one half of a second before I pushed the button.
  13. Three more flowers and one leaf; still chasing the hummingbird. Fast little guy.
  14. A blur that might be the tip of a hummingbird's wing.
  15. The hose I tripped over.
  16. The tap I broke.
  17. A flooded backyard.
  18. The tap I fixed.
  19. The new swimming pool.
  20. The camera in front of my face while I stood in front of the bathroom mirror; feeling fresh as fuck.

But all of those pictures sucked.

So I will not be sharing them here today.

Instead, I spent the past few hours finishing this:

NoNamesLeftToUse - You're Finished.jpeg
You're Finished

If that scared you,

I'd just like you to know:

It's too late to cover your eyes.

One of these days I might try shutting up, focusing, thinking, then writing about the art I produce like a normal artist would.

Unfortunately, that day is not today.  I can't even promise if it will ever happen.

I don't even know where to start.

  • Hey everyone! Look what I made!
  • First I sat, then I loaded my digital art suite.
  • Then I pushed 'new'.
  • Then I selected the canvas size.
  • Then I was presented with a blank white digital canvas.
  • I put colors down on the blank white digital canvas.
  • I added more colors.
  • I created more layers and added more colors.
  • I was getting close to being complete.
  • I finished.
  • Now you can look at it.

Then I would have to write that same post but a different way and if that's how I did things I would have done it that way over 600 times!

The people would think I was boring!

I can't do that!

I'm getting excited just thinking about it and for all the wrong reasons!

I am the best shitposter in all the land!

And I plan to keep that title!

Day after day; shitpost after shitpost!  Nobody does it better than me!

You hear me!
Nobody!

linebreak1
Credits:
Youtube video linked to source.
All art and images seen here were produced digitally, by me.
"Yes. That's two posts today. Clearly, I'm a workaholic. Maybe I'll take tomorrow off."

Images © 2018 @NoNamesLeftToUse.  All rights reserved.

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Nobody shitposts better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody shitposts quite the way you do
Shitposts are the best.

Nobody shitposts better
Though sometimes I wish someone could
Nobody shitposts like Nonameslefttouse
Why'd you have to be so good?

If it's any consolation I don't really write about my art either. Sometimes I touch on it in my progblogs but they're mostly just extended AAAAAAAAAARGH!s. And I guess the stories I provide with the other pieces could be counted as writing about it but I usuallyjust consider both text and art as part of the same thing.

That visual image of mowing grass with an upside down helicopter was awesome. I hope you illustrate that one day XD

The red face didn't scare me, I think you did a good job with the intensity in that gaze.

I had a glance through the comments and that linoleum! It gets everywhere! I thought I'd seen the last of it at my last house XD

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There's not much to say about it, and I have more fun listening to what others say when unguided. I enjoy the days when I hide faces within the work for instance, then read about people spotting it, or thinking their eyes are playing tricks on them. I also like to hear what they see that maybe I don't see. If I say, "This is what it is," I lose all of that engagement. This approach of mine seems to work well, plus I don't take too many things in life seriously so I'm more at ease just messing around, being myself. That helicopter visual was exactly what I thought of when I was looking at this tall grass, so why not share the random thoughts of the day somehow.

The gaze... I have to be careful. I always want the eyes to pop out at people but they can't be too realistic otherwise it takes away from the cartoon/comic effect I enjoy playing with.

See, now I'll talk about the art. That's why they made comment sections!

Occasionally those accidental foot pictures capture something I like, and sun pictures - I love those. The bird that shits on things? He's famous, he needs a picture. I think I know what this means...photography is definitely not my trade.

I read your post then scrolled back up and dozed off. I woke up looking at your fiendish friend there, and immediately saw a screaming face eyebrow. Also some bearded face bags under the eyes. (I wrote "eye-bags", but that sounded like something he'd be carrying, not something on his face.)

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Those Shoes Though.JPG

Here's my favorite accidental foot photograph. I tried to get the dog but got my shoes instead. I miss that linoleum...

And you know... even though it's mainly just another red freak what will most likely scare away the big votes, I still put a lot of detail into that guy. I wouldn't be surprised if you start seeing things.

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When I was a kid I used to visit my aunt's dairy farm, and she had that linoleum. I have fond memories of getting slurped by baby cow tongues associated with that 70's pattern.

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That stuff was in a decent older home I lived in while in a different city. Rough neighborhood, awesome floors.

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1890's farmhouse in the middle of endless cornfields. Starchy neighborhood, awesome floors.

I really like the pic but I notice you always do these large triangular noses, is there a story behind that?

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I guess it's kind of like how Simpsons characters usually have big round eyes, yellow skin; Southpark characters don't have noses. It's just a style. In this one the tip of the nose is a lot closer to the camera than the eyes, so that'll make it appear much larger.

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Sort of a artistic trademark then, that makes sense.

If in doubt, more layers!!;

It's a cool Minotaur

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I didn't think it was a minotaur until you said it's a cool minotaur and now I just want to agree so we both look like we know what we're doing.

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Yeah makes us look much more professional. Bloody Minotaur

A fly humping another fly. Oh boy I bet that was an incredible photo. I think I will take the digital art you produce instead. LoL

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I was going for the National Geographic shot.

I am the best shitposter in all the land!
And I plan to keep that title!

You'll have a lot of competition in that regard..!

This wasn't shitpostng, this was a stream of consciousness!
lol
...So I suppose it was a shit, shitpost, yeah....

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Twas the most ridiculous thing I could think of at the time; plus art.

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...yeah, this ain't going to get any awards for shit posting... Don't try as hard. Schoolboy error!

...For true shitposting - just look on the 'new' feed....you can't move for it sometimes...

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You're right and it's about time someone noticed! I tried too hard again...

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That was probably the best pizza related shit post I've ever seen. Too bad it's so old. I thought my vote was broken...

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tks for the kind words , should I repost it and boost with 100 SBD and tag it with colorchallenge ?

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Yes. I believe that's how the pros do it.

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ok , I do like the idea of becoming a whale..

Wow, that's pretty cool that you got a new swimming pool. Is it an in ground one?

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It already dried up, so yeah, it's in ground.

The hose I tripped over.

I love your sense of humor in your photography... :)

How about the roses "you did not smell" --- as they sell, makes sure you take time in life to smell the roses.

To be honest, photography is like that .... as you already know. (ie: the humming bird near the flower before you pushed the button)

Non-photographers who rarely pick up a camera, don't realize how hard it can be to be a real photographer. :)

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Non-photographers who rarely pick up a camera, don't realize how hard it can be to be a real photographer. :)

....I was one of those, until I had to learn all about it. Very true.

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I need a better camera. I wasted my time but I guess I still had fun and learned a new trade; outdoor plumbing.

A few years ago, with an even shittier camera, I snapped a pic of this chickadee on my thumb:
chickadee (2).jpg

Screw hummingbirds. They don't know how to pose like these other birds. Overgrown mosquitoes.

I respect the visual arts; photography included. Eventually I'll get a camera and show you folks what I'm truly made of!

While taking picture #6, did you happen to notice if any of them were pooping mushrooms?

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I was waiting for that shot but it didn't happen.

You used red color for a change. I like it, because that’s what your are the best at instead of taking some photographs of some birds taking dumps...
Even though it must be taugh to catch him at perfect time and at perfect moment.

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Yeah, I thought I'd try red. Seems to be working fine again as whale repellent, so there's that I guess.

Photography takes patience and a lot of time. Everything I capture was far too grainy though so if I'm going to take pictures, I'll need a camera that isn't a waste of time.

I would really love to get a glipmse of that bird that poops on things, I want to put a face on it, I mean, it already has its own post, why not give it a face too?
And that's right, you are the best shitposter to ever shitpost on the shitpost land, hooray!

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I don't think it'll look directly at me. I try to get their attention but I think they're shy or embarrassed about the shit issues. Maybe it just can't control itself.

really great article

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Incredible comment. Topnotch.

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I detect sarcasm, sir!

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Sarcasm indeed.

nice funny! thanks

Perhaps we should document your work for you.

"By the end of July 2018, the artist himself was well into his red phase. Critics extolled his anthropomorphic or zoomorphic works, not quite knowing which it was. "

It almost sounded like a happy normal day!
When you find a helicopter to fly upside and cut grass, let me know, i could use that shit.

Nobody is an asshole. Fuck nobody! You shit post way better than nobody, and don't you forget it!

I want a Christmas hippopotamus for Easterrr,
only a big red hippo dude will do!
Don't give me a boring gray one,
I'll spray you with a squirt gun,
and you'll go running home to mommy crying you're having no fun!

Herbage.