This is An Article About Something I Didn't Know About Crickets

in life •  4 months ago

Before you leave this place, you too might find yourself feeling as if something has been learned.

It is a great feeling.

A wonderful feeling.

NoNamesLeftToUse - Shut Up cover.jpeg

Today

A Glorious Day

I'm sure many of you have probably noticed by now, I am incredibly intelligent.  I know things about stuff most people don't even think about thinking about.

Though like most people, I do not know everything, unfortunately.

When I do not know something, it is hard for me to find out the facts on said something, because if I have not thought of said something before, how would I know to think about said something in the first place?

I was not thinking about that cricket,

until I heard the cricket.

You see how this works?

In this world, we are offered challenges.  Challenges that come from above, as well as all of the other directions.  Up, down, south, north, east, northeast; all of it.

Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip

Went the cricket, all goddamn morning; and it was in the house.

Of course I didn't know where; in the house.

Why is this happening to me?
That, was my first question.

So I hit up Google.

Screenshot (405).png

In a world where everyone pretends to have all of the answers,

no dice.

The cricket chirps on.

Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip

Seems to be getting louder.

It's hard to concentrate.

Screenshot (406).png

Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip-Chirp-Chirp-Chrip

This is normal?

Screenshot (407).png

Calm down!

Breathe.

Just, think.

Screenshot (408).png

Eureka!

Screenshot (404).png
Image linked to source of wonderful information.

And this!

Screenshot (403).png
Image linked to source of wonderful information.

Conclusion

Everyone should get a pet cricket, now.

Relax, they said.  You're getting paid, they said.

It's not annoying chirping nonstop; it's happy happy fun time music, they said.

Everything will be fine, they said.

Have a nice day.

linebreak1
Credits:
All art and images seen here were produced digitally, by me.
"Chirp-chirp-chrip shut up!"

© 2018 @NoNamesLeftToUse.

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

@lemony-cricket are you still alive? Did you escape? 3 Chirps is needed for proof of life.

·

Chirp; chirp.

·
·

It lives!

·

Can it just be one chirp? Three seems a bit excessive after what I've been through.

·
·

Only one chirp!!!!! OMG which page of googles 7 trillion was he trapped on!

·
·
·

The one about flypaper.

·
·
·
·

I will find and liberate him! I let the taco down I don't want it filled with cricket meat!

iwillfindhim.png

crickets in response

·

Here. Ten hours of my life.

Enjoy all the good it brings!

At least it wasnt biting holes in your clothes. That would mean there was a cricket killer on the loose again

·

It would be pretty damn hard to cover up that evidence.

·
·

Not if the culprit was a man with pretty big shoes, eh ,eh. You know what I am saying

·
·
·

It would take a lot of crickets to eat those shoes.

·
·
·
·

By Jiminy it would!

·

It just came to talk to him as the cricket was feeling lonely :(

·
·

They are funny creatures crickets. I employed one to clean my house once but it was rubbish. I had to let it go

·
·
·

I employed the same one to clean my house and now it owns my house :)

·
·
·
·

Ha, so their luck remains their own! :OD

·
·
·
·
·

I thought I was the one who was supposed to get lucky...
Now I have to clean other people's house to buy a house for me..
Are you recruiting?

·
·
·
·
·
·

Always recruiting. I have a queue. In the modern sense of course

·
·
·
·
·
·
·

What are the chances of me being recruited?

I had one living in a bunch of potted plants I had to bring inside for a month last hurricane season. I sustained no damage. Clearly they are good luck...or picking up all inanimate objects in my yard that could fly through the windows was good luck. I prefer the former.

Mine was a weakling though, he didn't do much chirping. Maybe your Canadian ones are hardier, or more devious.

·

This one has a strong Canadian accent.

·
·

I'm not entirely sure what a Canadian accent sounds like. I need to ask Google. And then I need to figure out how to apply it to crickets...

Perhaps they will bring you great luck today through you doing a blog on them. Chirp Chirp.

·

As you can see, it's going really well so far! I'm only $995 away from trending!

We had crickets living behind our fireplace a few years back. We use to buy them to feed our pet lizards. Some escaped.

You need to borrow one of these...

0176a9549e762c1368ba97c047b58778.gifl

He'll help you get your tranquillity back!

·

That beast has a hidden agenda! Your clothes man! Think about your clothes!

·
·

Hey I quite comfortable with my manhood... who needs clothes more than sanity?! That obsessive chirping is just plain torture man!

·
·
·

Torture indeed. I wasn't even able to write a post today because of it.

Did you try calculating the temperature based on the frequency of its chirps? Or is that a different kind of cricket?

·

I read all about it while researching my wonderful information, but no, I just looked at the weather app.

pretty incredible as so far, the cricket has brought you $5.83 of fake internet money in 58 minutes. Superstitions are real....

·

I'm rolling in the dough today! Trending page! Here I come!

·
·

·
·
·

I should comment on raaz's post and rub it in.

·
·
·
·
·
·
·

This feels copied.
Didn't somebody do this yesterday?
Oh yeah, me :/

·
·
·
·

sorry, didn't mean to sound bitter, just being a little facetious.
Ignore my comments and complaints.
(I had nothing funny to say, so I attempted to drag down others... just following the crickets example, y'can't really blame me)

·
·
·
·
·

Meh, have a little fun as there is a lot of fun to be had.

·
·
·
·

umm... congratulations?

Chrip-Chrip-Chrip-Chrip-Chrip

·

Crickets be chrippin'

·
·

We crickets were trying to sing a song...those were the lyrics...

Hihi yes you wrote well these chirrp are annoying

·

I was hoping someone would say those exact words, like that. The cricket was right.

·
·

Hahaha amazing funny 😂😁 thanks for sharing this post

Not enough red.
Besides, didn't douglass walloch say “The biggest liar in the world is They Say.” I think it would be fair to say that that applies to they said (end of your article)
also trying to figure out why every 3rd chirp was switched with a chrip (copy/paste, anyone?)

Why should we let ignorance keep us from speaking with authority? All this emphasis on knowledge is racist if you ask me.

Dude you’ve quickly become one of my favorite posters.

I'm sure that the crickets are bringing you much gold as I type this comment.

Partly because of how I hear it and partly because of how cricket is spelled I have decided that crickets go "cree cree cree" XD

So did you name yours Jiminy? Or perhaps Lucky?

I love cricket...and I am also intelligent with very high IQ

Did you know that in Cambodia people eat crickets? Stirfried with garlic and chili? How mental is that?
Well, even larvaes is pretty disgusting.
When you think about a delicious meal...they say.

There is no cricket. The sound is all in your mind. You will never sleep again. You are done for.

Did you even stop and think for a second that it could have been this guy??

What if he had a message for you?
He probably lost his hat and that's why he was at your house in the first place.
The possibilities are endless

Of course! If I have a cricket chirping somewhere in my house, the first thing I do is Google, "Why is this happening to me?" hahaha

I actually had a cricket in my house the other night. I calmly and quietly told it to come out from under the counter, that I would catch it in a cup and take it outside. It inched out and sat (stood?) motionless on the floor for me. No, I'm not making this up.
I have a special "bug cup" and cardboard for catching things like this and taking them back out where they belong.