I hit bottom awhile ago. I stayed away from those official handouts, but there was a point when I was asking for spare change or cigarettes just for a coffee and a muffin or whatever. A long enough walk always meant something to eat, eventually. Then I got the hell out of that city but I'll probably move back once I decide I'm ready. And yeah, this took effort. Solid, real, work and I always hated money up until I realized it wasn't the money I hated, just what I was doing to get it. I also used to say I'd never want my hobby to become work because then I wouldn't enjoy it as much. I was wrong. So, so very wrong.