Unicorn

in life •  16 days ago

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The good lady looked out at the grey murk which passed for a Scottish autumn morning.

Hey, it looks nice. Should we go to the park?

Oh yes mummy, that's an amazing idea!! We could take a picnic!!

Cried the little lady in agreement.

I peered out the window and looked doubtfully at the overcooked-porridge skies.

It's gonna rain lass. Maybe not?

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Before anyone could speak the little lady let out a broken wail and threw herself to the floor.

No Daddy, we must go, we must!!!

She started sobbing her heart out and pounding at the carpet.

My Sunday hangover meant that my patience with mad tantrums was perhaps a little thin.

Right you. Get off the floor. I simply won't have this that every time we say something you don't agree with you go nuts?

Her sobs and wails got louder. The good lady looked at me as if I had horns on my head and was poking at the little lady with a pitchfork.

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I shook my head and began to prepare for our outing.

We arrived at the big park which was a short drive away. I helped the little lady out of her car seat.

As she hopped onto the road, I pointed her toward the pavement, as I always do.

Right lass straight onto the pavement, please.

She stopped and looked at me.

No. Why should I!

She stamped her feet and headed toward the road.

The road was mad busy. I grabbed her arm.

Hey, stop right there. It's dangerous to walk out near the road. You are only five. Stop right now and do what I tell you.

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Predictably, these days at least, she burst into tears and flung herself onto the road beside the car crying and screaming.

The good lady got out of the car and glared at me.

Daddy, you are going to have to stop telling her no all the time. You are turning into a right curmudgeon!

She picked up the little lady and walked off with her.

My pleas about the dangers of the road fell on deaf ears as she stomped off with the little lady who was stomping equally as hard as her Mummy.

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I shook my head again.

We had been in the swing park for a matter of minutes when the rain came.

Not just normal rain but biblical rain. I didn't bother to point out that I had said there was rain coming. Instead I pointed out there was a garden centre nearby we could shelter in.

The little lady made a mad gargling sound and dropped like a stone to the ground where she proceeded to kick herself around and around in a circle of mud.

I want to stay in the park, don't make me leave, noooo!!

I looked to the wet heavens.

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No. It's bloody soaking. Let's get in the dry?

We headed in. The good lady dragging the little lady behind her. As we got under cover the good lady rounded on me.

You have been very negative all day. All day! You have to stop saying no. We are not those kind of parents.

A million responses came to mind. Instead, I shook my head and grumbled like an old rhino wearing yellow pants.

Inside the garden centre was a ridiculously tacky Christmas display, the centerpiece of which was a massively plastic, silver unicorn with flashing lights.

The little lady ran to it.

Mummy, Daddy, can we buy this... PLEASE!!!!

The good lady laughed, of course not she was obviously thinking. You would have to be nuts to buy such a tacky, gaudy object.

She looked at me as if urging me to tell her no and get it over with.

I smiled at the little lady.

Please daddy, can we?

I looked at the good lady and smirked.

Yes! Of course we can darling!!

The good lady blanched and near fainted.

Ha, I like my new yes-man life.

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Greetings @meesterboom.

Lovely story-telling and illustrations......too soon for Holiday Unicorns...yes...but a wee bit of positive in such a way is a laugh.....now for the rest of the story.....afterall the Unicorn would look lovely in the attic. hehe ^__^

All the best.

Cheers!

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Lol, cheers @bleujay! If it went in the attic it would have to join the crazy six foot tall giraffe we have lurking about in there which was another must have purchase!

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Oh yes....lovely giraffes....had not heard about those in a while......or seen their drawings.....sounds like the six footer is definately a must have.....so sorry to hear it is in the attic. ^__^

btw.....have you seen an article that explains the RC...or why the SP applied is less than one has....if so please send the link......thank you. Have you visited Whaleshares yet?

O those damn tantrums, jeez they kill you....but NO is not a swear words - I teach kids every days whose parents do not say no and unfortunately they think it is their ticket to freedom - Life is bitch and will tell you NO when ever she wants, so better get use to it - I am on your side for this, but ouch that payback is epic.

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It is truly epic! The payback, that is. It has to be done or side you will create a monster as you see!! Lol, it's an awfully phase though

Why does everyone wants a unicorn?
In a recent event I attended, people were doing all sorts of tasks to get their card stamped so that can complete it to exchange for a unicorn.

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Unicorns seen to be the flavour of the month this year. They are everywhere!!

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Must be some fad I'm missing on. So i did some search and i think maybe partly the movie My Little Pony for the little ones.
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/oct/15/return-of-the-unicorn-the-magical-beast-of-our-times

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Aha! I knew there must be a good reason for it! I commend you on your detectivity!!

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Haha.... something the curious just have to know.

Sometimes a distraction will work, for the traffic, a quick swing and place her on your shoulders, one leg on each side of your neck.
Cant run into the traffic from there, the surprise will stop the squark. the Good Lady will be impressed.
When it is the little lad's turn to go through the phase, carry him upside down, again the surprise is the thing.

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Got it! Sometimes I do the shoulders thing. She loves it, then again other times she grabs my head like it's a steering wheel

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If only they didn't go from hard left hand down to hard right hand down so quickly.
One day there is going to be a disconnected daddy's head in the middle of the road because of that.
With the Good Lad, upside down, so your mid-thighs can hit the back of his head as you walk, gently of course.
Not so good with girls as they wear dresses.

Oh no, not a curmudgeon!! This can not happen!!! lol Ahhh, sometim3es we are damned no matter what we say. So great to be rocking it back on the Steemit train.

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It's so good that the Steem train is actually moving again!!

While I do try to say yes to more things sometimes you just have to say no and postpone it or no it can't happen at all for whatever reason, it sucks that we can't have whatever we want whenever we want however we want but that's how things roll XD Never really thought of yes and no or positive and negative as being inherently good or bad though o_O

Least the good lady isn't like this parent I've been told about who subscribed to some form of parenting where apparently they never said no to their child ever because it was negative etc, but didn't replace it with anything at all and their kid was apparently a spoilt little brat who never got pulled up on bullying other kids because telling them off would break their spirit or something to that effect O_o (and you can pass on the story if you have concerns XD)

I don't think I should have laughed at your revenge but I did XP

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We are normally quite no's. I have no idea what came over the good lady yesterday. Possibly nothing to do with parenting hehe.

We have similar friends and their two daughters are ridiculous. Wouldn't want to get in that state of affairs!!

That's absolutely hilarious! My almost 6 yr old seems to be moving past the tantrums, but the almost 3 years old is picking up where his big brother left off... Sigh...

Anyway, I'd love to see a proper photo of said unicorn once you've got it lit up in the yard! 😆

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I am really so glad that they are a phase. Imagine if it was all the time!?! I hope it sits quickly for both of us!!

I do not think that is the best behavior that your daughter can have, because if 5 years you do those tantrums do not want to imagine when he is 15 years? Want to get away from home whenever you like and you can not say anything because your wife will agree with it, sounds very crazy but are behaviors that at least for me are not suitable

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Oh I know it. They never used to happen they are a new thing. I am wondering if they have been learnt at school!!

hahahahahaha you sure showed her! LOL :) Great work my friend!

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You have to get down on their level, hehe

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hahahahahaha

Sounds like the littlest lady here is really in charge ;) Wrapped round little fingers comes to ming :)

I've embraced my curmudgeonly ways years ago, though I've no child to inflict them upon, just myself and those few who are unfortunate enough to be around me if I get 'set in my ways' ;)

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Haha, I have long ago given up any hope of aging that I am in charge!

Sometimes no is good and the only reply. I say no more to yes and everyone turned out ok, maybe more negative lol. At least you had a moral victory and she should grow out of the tantrums soon. I forgot Christmas is around the corner.

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I agree with that. I think the good lady might be on her dabs, lol! I am glad the tantrums are only a phase, agree never used to have them!

hahaha! sir meesterboom! just a simple trip to the park and you're the monster until you discover the power of yes! lol.
"grumbled like an old rhino wearing yellow pants." those yellow pants must put rhinos in a terrible mood! lol. great job sir!

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You know rhinos! Obsessed with getting the right pants!

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lol..I'l take your word for it sir meesterboom, that's kind of out of my knowledge base!

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I should add to the Wikipedia entry!

LOL!!! Good one!! Oh that is definitely something I would do, hahahaaaa!

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Well it is kinda good except now I have the tackiest white/silver unicorn that my daughter is insisting we put out in the front garden. Sigh - might have backfired a tad

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That's even funnier!! Because for me, I'd probably like it- I can get into ridiculous decorations for Christmas- as long as there's lights :)

The heading toward a busy road bit-- truth is that's the one time I actually spanked my own daughter. It scared me so much a few whacks on her butt happened automatically. Have to say, maybe because it's nowhere near our normal style of parenting and it shocked her- it was effective lol.

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If the good lady hadn't been there I think I might have. I have zero tolerance for shenanigans when it comes to safety. They don't know enough! It was a trying day.

At least we have the unicorn. Maybe I will send it over!!

Of course, when the good lady was telling you not to be negative, as a man you must take action and become a yes man to everything that you encounter. Upvoted!

(What a rough ride these past few days after HF20. I was amazed this blockchain is so resilient.)

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It has been a tough ride. Slowly things are getting back to normal!

Quite funny !

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I found it to be, cheers!

In combat, chess, and daddery, these are called tactics. In this case, a counter-tactic. Soldier forth, sir.

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I love a bit of tacticising! :0)

These are the days that the history books will come back to and thank/curse you to the high heavens/depths of hell, a-BRO-calypse! The little lady will grow tired of the No's and day by day work towards a world where her will is law. But, in the times when you say yes is when she will learn the most. In fact, she'll learn the most important lesson of them all!

Sooner or later, they will all bow down to my will.

Goosebumps.

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Soon they will!!

I have a feeling that day is closer than any of us realise!!

Gads!

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We're underestimating the time we have left, aren't we? We're underappreciating the freedom afforded to us because this is all we've ever known. This shall be our downfall. And, even as I state it, I fear it is not enough to evade the uninevitable. Nothing is enough.

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When enough is never enough but we know that the striving to attain enough is no longer enough in itself then we know that perhaps we have had enough!!

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When enough is regarded as the bough, then it's e-know, y'know?

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Eeor, I say, EEOR!

I'm gonna need you to go buy a set of Football penalty cards, then flash them at the missus during times like this.

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That's a fine idea. There would be a lot of red though, :0)

There's nothing like a unicorn to let people see the errors of their ways.

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It's the magical gotten that cuts through the chaff!!

Yeah but now you've got a bunch of crap in your house. So who really won? (Hint: it was the seller.)

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The seller soon and we all lost. But I am still laughing!!

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I guess a moral victory is still kind of a win.

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It is any win is a win for he these days!!! :0D

🤣 Love the way you handled that! High fives for *giving in when most effective!

jajajajja xD muy buena

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