Thursday's With Uncle Boom: #4

I was walking along the river bank with a good friend Basil Prendergast this afternoon. A good man despite having a head like a baboons arse. We shared a pipe of some good peach brandy tabac and remarked upon the trades of the day. He blew out a smoke ring like a preening popinjay and claimed.

Pink peppercorns dear chap, that's where it's at.

I was about to retort that peppercorns, like coal should always be black when we heard some cries of distress from the water.

By Jove, fellows in trouble there.

Basil always had a keen mind. Yes, there was a fellow splashing about making all sorts of noise some twenty feet from the river bank.

Help, help me. Can't swim!

All this was interspersed with much theatrical flailing and splashing quite unbecoming of a gentleman.

I wonder what he's doing in the water if he can't swim?

I mused.

Basil handed me back the pipe.

Looks a gnarly bugger, doesn't he?

We shared some more of the pipe. A splendid blend of tabac this peach brandy stuff. Basil, ever the impatient sort picked up a rock and flung it at the man's head missing only by a foot or so.

God's man hurry it up, we'll catch a chill!

Perhaps the fellow was more obliging than at first appeared as he gave one more help before sinking beneath the surface.

Later as the maid massaged my feet I thought back to the drowning man. A poor way to kark it, all that shouting and carrying on. Some people had no decorum. However, it did remind me of my duty toward my fellow steemians. With a contented sigh I kicked the maid away and powered up the pooter. In a matter of moments I was logged onto the chats to see who had approached me this week for some solid gold

Spam_Farmer1: I can be like you.

Uncle Boom: What the fuck, are you a cat? Is that feline speak? Can you haz cheeseburger? Is that what you mean?

Or be like me, are you wanting to steal my soul? for the love of God, threats wont unman a fellow of my stature! Don't push me, you craven winnet or I will jam myself down this Interpipe and pop out the other end to give you the back of my hand. Pfft, such insolence!

Spam_Farmer2: is this a good time to buy steem, how much did you buy?

Uncle Boom: How much did I bloody what? Would you ask a man if he perfumes his nethers?! Would you ask a man if he had ever shaved a sheep and called her Rosemary? It was only that one time dammit.

But yes, besides your impertinent buying question, it is a good time to buy steem. And dare I say, if you fancy trading in physical goods, I have it on very good authority that...

Pink peppercorns are where it's at.

There, that winds up another very successful set of advisements. As ever, feel free to drop me a line with your deepest philosophical musings and problems. I can assure you at the very least of a sympathetic ear and complete anonymity. After all...