The Interview

in life •  24 days ago

meesterboom-interview.jpg

There I was, having a glass of red wine with the good lady. We thought to congratulate ourselves on our parenting skills by getting slightly squiffy on the wine when the kids were asleep.

No sooner than we had clinked our glasses together however, the little boom who was upstairs in his cot woke up and started screaming in outrage that there wasn't a boob in his mouth.

The good lady sighed, before hoisting herself and her milk laden squeakers up to the little man.

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I sat with my wine in the quiet living room and gave out a contented sigh.

Before I could get too relaxed, the laptop pinged.

I went over to see what had alarmed it so.

It was a message on Discord. From a random person I did not know.

It was a plucky young fellow, let us call him, Fannybadger. He wanted to conduct an interview with me.

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I don't do interviews.

Was my rather short answer. I have been down that road before. I remember at one point it seemed like everyone and their dog wanted to interview me.

Of course, it wasn't because I rawk or because of my curiously silky penis. No, it was because they could tag me and mention me loads of times in it and hope to make a shedload of cash through it.

So I tend to say no because I am cuntish that way.

He was oddly fine with my refusal. He then said me something which took me quite by surprise.

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I'm really intrigued by your writing method.

What? Why?

Said I. (Dont worry, this isn't turning into a poem.)

He said lots of flattering things about my command of the English language and the descriptive powers of my writing.

Of course, I knew it was all twoddle and that my ego was being stroked but it was pleasurable all the same.

Are you a lady? It is difficult to tell from your name or profile.

I asked.

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He rather firmly stated that he was not a lady, he was a dude. My thrilling erection which had been gathering steem, subsided rather rapidly.

He didn't seem like the usual spamfarming bastards who hoach around on Discord looking for upvotes and I happily advised him of this.

He was silent for a short while. Then he asked,

How do you prepare for a piece?

Well young fellow. I usually get my cock out and point it at the toilet...

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Oh sorry, my mistake. You mean piece??

Yes, a piece of writing.

He replied. I began to detect a little terseness. He was not such the carefree young typer he had been at the start. Then again, I was a little pished on the wine, perhaps it was just me?

I explained that I usually sat down in front of my laptop with a coffee. Stroking my chin thoughtfully in between sips, as I awaited my muse to come-a-calling.

What is your opinion of the current state of Steemit?

He asked almost right away as if my answer mattered not a whit.

The State of Steemit? I respect her borders most certainly. The treaty holds firm whilst she does not violate my waters.

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Hmm, ok.

He replied, sagely.

How do you view the current use of bidbots?

Through my glasses, most certainly. I simply cannot view their use without them.

Sir, are you making fun of me?

He enquired.

I am not sure what gave it away?

Are you doing an interview, despite me saying no?

I asked in return.

Yes.

He courageously replied.

Fuck off then.

And that was that.

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Why are You dressed like going on the beach, for an Interview ? I read the post twice, but I didn't find the answer.
Actually, I didn't get the point of an Interview...? Did he publish, somewhere ?
And, is funny, this last part looked like football game when Italy plays and they always score goal in the 91 min. The same like you, You scored in 92 min 🤔🤔🤔???

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Hehe, no. I told him not to publish anything I did not give permission to.

I don't know where I got the idea for the photo/art from. It just came to me. I know, I will be naked!!

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lol! I didn't get a beach vibe, more of a "I'm joining the Handsome Men's Club!"

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Hahahaha!!! Yes indeed!!

I would of ditched him at discovery that he was a dude. I only talk to chicks, preferably blondes...or higher SP accounts, of course.

Yes I am joking. I have to put that in anymore of some wanker will take me to task LOL

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Blonde chicks with higher SP would be premium. It's okay to talk to dudes. I do it all the time. They seem pretty harmless.

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Oh I am sure you do talk to them all the time!

Hi Denise. Dont be such a stranger, you cant stop by my page any time :)

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Get over yourself @old-man-photos ... I already dropped by and checked out your flower and then I read this. The most conversation I have with any dude is one that I gave birth to. He is still under the mother influence, so he is easy to get along with. LOL

Pffft!

Don't spend the .1 tip all in one place. :)

Bahahahahaha. He was a courageous bugger. As someone who admired your writing so much, he had to know how this was going to play out if he continued with his line of questioning. No, he thought to walk out onto the battlefield where the bullets would be freely firing all around him and take the chance that he might get some tidbit of a story from the boomster. Well, I guess he did. He got the first hand account of when he got schooled by the boomster himself. Well playd my friend.

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Haha! I like the way you put it much better. That's like the synopsis on the back page of a novel!!

I couple of people has asked me and I've also declined.
I don't want to be grilled like I'm in police station.
If I want to tell my story, I tell it my way and at my own time.
As a history or as a science fiction if I so choose to.
So, read my blog.
Hmm... maybe this can be our answers in future. Like telling "Follow me." wahah.

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That's a very good answer! I totally agree, if you tell it yourself you can get it right as well!!

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haha... for sure it there'll be no wrong. :-)

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Or maybe only some little wrongs ;0)

Cheeky little bugger! The nerve of trying to interview you after you had said no. I guess he thought no meant maybe or perhaps? Are we seeing more of this crap again? More spammy comments and shit posts? I thought it had died down? Guess I was wrong...sigh.

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I thought it had died down but it seems to have moved over onto the chats!!

It was cheeky but I had a lot of fun!!

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Yes, you did! LOL He'll certainly remember the almost interview he had!

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He will probably post it as his own writing lol!

You tried to cram as many wordplays in there as you could didn't you XD Looking on the bright side of things, it's a good thing my kids were up late so I didn't have to potentially choke trying to silence my laughter this time round.

goatsig

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I did. I was rather tipsy and feeling very chuckly each time he asked something!!

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LoL well least you had fun with the rude person XD

goatsig

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Hurrah for fun!!

That sly son of a gun!! He almost had you, but little did he know he was messing with Boom! I do appreciate the hell out of your writing style! I catch myself laughing out loud frequently when reading your posts!

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I am glad to hear it, hehe!!!

Yeah, I had his number almost right away!!

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He should have not started asking for an interview!! That was his first mistake! #DamnitFannybadger

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Hehe, I have had a few that don't and then at some point I ask and they go. Eh yes, is that a problem? I am like, aye, ya cheeky basturt!

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Those are the ones that you have to watch out for!

Interrupting your peaceful glass of wine 🍷! That was the worst part!

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I know, I love a red wine. How dare they!

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I knew they were doomed from that moment on! I learned early on, never interrupt a man drinking a glass of wine relaxing at his home. My dad Aka @sevinwilsonsdad

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Hehe, that's cool your dad having an account!

Damn...I was about to ask you for an interview because of my one burning question for you. Not longer puzzled... just free the willy and point towards the toilet...noted!

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That's it... Just point and whazz!!! :0D

Sir, you truly are a magnet for spamfarmers, in whatever shape or form. There should be branches of science dedicated to studying the attraction you seem to exude, sir. Plz kindly vote and resteem.

Hahahaha! I imagine this one left quite an impression. It's not everyday a spamfarmer merits his own dedicated post! I remember way back when you interviewed me (aka the spark of our epic friendfreighter) Ahh good times!

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Haha, I remember it well!! At least there was as good reason!! Hehe.

I have blocked a number of people on discord now and the world is a quieter place thankfully!!

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Gasp! :O Was I part of the culling!?

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Goodness no!!!

If I could put you on an exalted list I would!! :0)

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ExaltJED ;) I like it!

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HAhahahhahahahha, ah yes, ExaltJED it shall be!

I do not know if it is the language barrier, but it is very common that this happens, some people, usually the new ones do not know how to respect, this is one of the causes that do not use parallel social networks, more than in some occasions to promote my job.
Nonetheless I must admit that I have to learn his way to be in these matters.
Great job dear friend @meesterboom
I wish you a good start to the weekend

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hola @jlufer! Yes they do it because they know no better. A good weekend too you too!!

I about lost it on the milk laden squeekers (squeakers?....) Isn't it amazing what a bit of creative stroking will do for opening the floodgates of opinion gathering, when those compliments start flowing... Glad you finally came to full fruition in the end.

I get the damndest calls now and then, usually wondering if I'd like to try some Viagra on a cruise boat while someone cleans my carpets or puts in a full-house AC system. I need to get more creative in my responses...thanks for the most excellent role-playing. I just need more vino.

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Vino is always helpful in helping the creative juices to flow I find. I get the weirdest calls these too. Mostly about the accident I have had. When I will which one they have no idea lol

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Ha haa, if only YOU knew what you've actually been up to. Classic. I also get the occasional call, "we see here your computer is acting up and the warrantee is expired, please give us your CC number and we'll sort it out." Only thing not working is your ploy, you leecherous skallywaggs. Or however you are spelled...I need more wine.

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The computer ones, oh they are cheeky! I like to string them along a bit and no mistake!

OMG ! You totally lost me to my own laughter at the "milk laden squeakers?" Seriously.

I cannot believe you waited so long to drop him the F-bomb.

Tip! Worthy Piece (aren't they all?)

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I was quite surprised myself that I waited so long!!! :0)

You handled the cheeky fellow rightly. He thought he had you all through the supposedly interview.

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He did, he thought he was the cap'n!!

ha..just gave me an idea for naked interviews lol

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Hehe, those would be smashing!

first!
well maybe not, Second!
Lol, that was one of your better stories. You have such a great command of the english language or is it Scottish that you are writing in? Is it the Scottish language? Pish posh. Some of your references are clearly scottish in nature. why would anyone want to interview you anyway? See this is why i stay away from Discord. :)

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Hehe, you were second!!!!

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Hehe, they do it thinking that they will get a full upvote and that loads of others will follow. Cheeky bastards I say!!

I do have quite the turn of the English Scottish language. It is just a wee twinge of Scots i add to it

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I used to think I was a decent writer until lately I figured out what a dunce I am.

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Nah, your writing is absolutely fine!!

I would just have made the whole thing up; I like modern journalism.

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It's an art, I was happy to go in in that vein for ages!

Fanny should know that he was interviewing the great meesterboom who did not want to be interviewed. Fanny should take the answers with a pinch of salt but his ego overtook and he lost. Upvoted!

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He would have needed a tonne of salt. Hehe!

"And that was that." LOL! Bested by a mostly-naked damn good writer! Hehehehe. :P

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Hehe, that's about the size of it!! Lol

Hmmm, you need to be grouchy and unpredictable, then no one will bother you. Let’s face it, as it is you are far to charming and approachable.

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You are right, I need to eat more cabbage that should do it!

HAHAHAHAHA He was flattering you to mislead your attention and fall into his quiz game lol It was cunning of him, but I think you were really more focused on your erection did not end up dying than what the guy was asking

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It's all about the erection in the end! :0D :0D

What should he have said to get you all greased up for a proper interview?

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Lol, I don't think there is anything he could have said!

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Och no!

I think the Fannybadger got what he was looking for: a direct contact with the famous @meesterboom; it would not be an interview as such; but, he already has something to tell ... We'll see if he uses this information for any particular purpose.
This is the problem of celebrity stars: their public image does not allow them to have privacy and much less get a moment of tranquility.

The fans raving about meesterboom.
Source

Well, and as always, meesterboom with a masterful ending:

Source

Greetings @meesterboom

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Lol, I would place myself far away from celebrity status!!

If he posts it I will flag it :0D

One don't interview the Boom..... You get reviewed....lol

upvoted and resteemed

More to the point. What happened when the good lady came back, or were all the wine gone.....:) You know looking at the pic and all - just wondering

I had to translate to read you, I'm Spanish and I do not know English, what a good interview, hahaha, greetings

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Excellent. Glad you enjoyed it!

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