Shadow I.T. #4!
The day of the meeting had arrived. I straightened my fedora in the mirror. The good lady pressed herself wantonly against me, like a jam-smeared pheasant.
It's today isn't it?
She breathed.
I tilted the hat brim at maximum rake and turned to the side.
Yeah baby, this is it. Today the secrets of the Shadow I.T. will be laid bare.
She buried her head in my shoulder.
Be careful sweetheart, it could be a trap!
I gritted my teeth manfully and snarled at the mirror with handsome abandon.
Don't worry baby. I shit in traps.
With that, I swirled my greatcoat around me and coffee in hand, headed out into the early morning rain.
The time in work passed at a snail's pace whilst I waited for the meeting with El Jefe. I had had four coffees and it was only 11 o'clock. Today it looked like I was gonna crack the Shadow I.T. case wide open, I could barely contain my excitement.
To pass the time I drank more coffee and jiggled my right leg up and down at a furious pace. Eventually the guy to my right slammed his pen down.
Will you stop jiggling your fucking leg? It's making the whole row of desks shake!
I threw him a caustic eye.
Ever worked in a prison Mikey?
Boomdawg, how many times do I need to tell you, my name isn't Mikey.
Let me tell you something about Prison, Mikey. The milk's saltier than you might like.
The what? Look, just please stop jiggling your leg. Ok?
Yeah, whatever Mikey. Just don't drink the milk ok?
El Jefe pinged me shortly before the meeting - meet me in the hall, the message said.
This was it. Time to stick a hand up this twitching corpse's arse and see what I could pull out.
Before I met him, I walked over to the Kitchen. I chose the meanest looking spoon I could find and slipped it surreptitiously into my back bin. I looked around and whispered smugly...
There is no spoon...
Out in the hall there was a shout.
Hey hey Boomdawg!!
It was El Jefe. He motioned me over and mashed the button for the lift.
So, what we got then? We meeting the Shadow I.T?
He said it so nonchalantly, as if peeling a pigeon's egg.
Yeah, the... Wait, what?
This case had led me a merry dance from masturbating men in subterranean toilets to joint-rolling janitors on rooftops and now El Jefe was just offerering to take me to meet the Shadow I.T?? I slipped the spoon out of my back bin and up the sleeve of my shirt, just in case things got all monkey monkey.
The lift pinged and we entered. El Jefe winked.
Basement.
The basement? Isn't that just the mail sorting room?
El Jefe gave his balls an overt tweak and winked again like some kind of manic winker. Only the doors opening on the basement level saved him from getting a spoon to the neck
I was led through an area littered with boxes and men suffering from constipation until we reached a door set in the very back wall.
He turned and looked at me, all serious now.
I heard you were asking about the Shadow I.T. team. I thought you might like to join them.
He flung open the door.
I threw a hand over my face and shrieked...
To be continued...
What lies behind the door? Can the intrepid Boomdawg get out of this pickle and return to his lady love? How do you peel a pigeons egg?
Tune in for the final instalment of, The Shadow I.T. Coming soon.
ACH!! The suspense is killing me! I would compliment you for that fantastic cliffhanger, but I'm way too hooked to do so. I was reading with bated breath, on the edge of my seat no less! Ugh! The work of a private dick is never over, after all.
El Jefe is such a tease. I'm sure he doesn't know what he's talking about. And poor ol' Mikey. Bless his heart and his undeniable ignorance. It's been said that you can turn salty milk sweet if you drink apple juice or pineapple juice. As to who said it, no one knows. A gentleman never tells, isn't that right Boomshakalaka?
Knowing that next week holds the final installment is bittersweet. When I first read the sequel to the Shadow IT mystery, I was surprised. But now, I can't imagine my life without it!
A gentleman never ever tells!!! Cheers man. I though it fitting for such a short series of tales for there to be a cliffhanger. A gumshoe story wouldn't be compete without one!
It will all be over this time next week... Or will it!!!
A gumshoe story wouldn't be complete with gum stuck to a shoe as well!! Oh mannnnnn, you tease!! I'm sure it will never end!! And STEEM will thank you for it!
Steem thanks us all in the end!!
There it is again! The 'E' word!!
Hahahahhahhahahahaha!
Em net genne le, Em relly ennerved whenever e red thet
Thanks for the good read my friend. I would love to read more of these and cool video too.
Thank ya!
Hutcher! I am teetering on the edge of my duff rester in anticipation of the conclusion of this delightful melodrama! As a fellow leg twitcher and slightly anxious soul, I am totally going to see if I can stick myself to my seat "like a jam-smeared pheasant.".
Your writing makes my day better. Thank you kindly, and good luck peeling the smallish poultry ovum.
I am a terrible leg twitcher! If the bother I get from those within a ten foot radius.
Cheers :0) and good luck with the sticking and peeling!!
What? They want you to go over to the Dark Side? Or is the basement full of dead Shadow IT People and people who have been sleuthing? Damn you and your cliffhangers!
Haha, only one more to go! The final one was too exciting. It deserves a cliffhanger!!
I was laughing so hard at the vision of him getting spooned in the neck part. Great storytelling.
Ohhh, I just got the don't drink the milk part, lol
Thanks for keeping us entertained!
@tincanjunction
The milk part went completely over my head till I saw your comment, then the penny dropped. (Of course, being in prison, don't bend down to pick it up!)
Hehe!! That's the one! Beware the milk!!
The milk may have been a covert reference to jizzum in prison. A male prison most likely ;0)
Come on man! You’re killing us with the suspense! What intrigue! Good call on the spoon although wouldn’t a fork or knife have been a better choice of weapon?
It depends on the training you have had. A man can do terrible things with a spoon!!! :0D
You’d know since it seems you’ve had the salty milk......
A man hears things, terrible things!
Sees things that can’t be unseen.....
Heh heh
There's a lot of arse talk in this one.
Shitting in traps, constipation, hiding spoons in the coin box...
At first glance there is, I did have a dicey tummy today ;o)
Back bin is actually Glasgow slang for back trouser pocket! It is very neddy, usually they refer to it as somewhere to stick a blade. The little bastards they are. I believe they say something along the lines of , stuck a blade in ma back bin, know wut ah mean. so ah could tan the cunts jaw if aigh starteed any aigh ees shite man or something like that!
Ah that's better. Hiding a spoon from the communal office kitchen in your arse crack is a bit gross. You'd probably get called up to HR if someone saw that.
Lol, it would be a bit gross!
Oh, the adrenaline coursing through my veins, and the suspense. Thank goodness it's morning, not bedtime!
It's bedtime here!! It's all mounting up!!
With the all seeing eye, I felt my Scottish cousin type person was coming out the closet as a truth-er, then it was not, confused? yes. :-)
Much confusion, that is the way of cousin types :OD
I must make them hinges easier to open, no escape without easy access.
That would be a fine thing, good hinges are a mans best friend!
This is getting like the serials we used to watch at the movies every Saturday morning,
Each week the Hero was left in a "definitely gonna die" situation, only to find next week he had managed to exit the situation just before the Reaper could get hold of him.
Now poor Boomdawg is in it up to his chin, and isn't going to come out smelling of roses.
Roll on next weeks unmissable episode of this life-threatening saga.
The world will not be safe until our mighty Hero is back safe in the arms [and boosom] of The Good Lady.
Hehe, it is exactly like that. I remember those shows well. Who can save our great hero!!
Until next week no-one knows!!!
Just listen to all those Jafas rolling down the floor, bouncing from one step to the next lower one right down to the front of the theatre, and counting the number of shots the hero could fire from his sixgun without reloading.
Roll on next week so we can see our hero emerge victorious again.
I love listening to old serial dramas you can find online and before that used to listen to them on records and tape and I agree, this has that wonderful feel of 'I can't wait to see what is next' !