Shadow I.T.
A most curious thing happened today whilst I was in a meeting. I had a coffee in my hand, making sure I was jacked on caffeine so that I wouldn't fall asleep and was listening to the usual mumbo jumbo nonsense talk.
And then...
That doesn't solve the problem with the Shadow I.T. we have.
Remarked a wispy bearded chap. I jolted out of my daydream. Shadow I.T.?
And what is this Shadow I.T. when it's at home?
I enquired.
The wispy bearded chap gave a start as though I had caught him masturbating into his mother's hat and darted his head from side to side. I noticed out of the corner of my eye a senior manager, Queso Grande, make a frantic cutting motion over her neck.
Wispy beard gulped.
Oh, it's nothing. Just some users doing stuff.
I opened my mouth to interrogate him further but was cut off by Queso Grande.
Let's move on shall we. We need to get these estimates in by close of play.
The subject moved back to dull stuff. I wasn't fooled however, Shadow I.T.!?! I bloody knew it. Didn't these people realise I had watched all of the X Files? Even that shit film a few years ago. There was obviously some huge secret project going on. Hell, perhaps the work we were doing was just a front for a villainous organisation with plans for taking over the world?
I scrutinised them with a fierce eye looking for signs. They were back to acting normal. Wittering on about T-Shirt sizing and forming squads to tackle problems - squads? That was a strange choice of word to use. Oh yes. Something was going down alright
After the meeting I loitered about waiting for wispy-beard. He looked the weakest of the bunch and I suspected I might be able to pull a Jack Bauer on him and get the lowdown on this mysterious Shadow I.T.
Maybe they would be impressed at my investigations and I would be asked to join the ranks? I wondered if I would have to kill someone with a spoon to prove myself. I hoped it would be a clean spoon. I can't abide a dirty spoon.
I could see in through the glass partition. Queso Grande was remonstrating with wispy-beard, it looked like an angry conversation. They both looked my way seemingly sensing my gaze.
I smiled and lifted my head in acknowledgement as if to say I am onto you fuckers.
They smiled back, like everything was normal and there wasn't a big naked elephant in the room fondling itself with a leathery toed foot. I walked off nonchalantly, best not to rouse suspicion. I had a spoon back at my desk. I decided to fetch it in case things kicked off and I found myself fighting for my life.
On the way to my desk, I popped to the loo. I had drunk a lot of coffee and seemed to have a bladder the size of a goats eye today.
Whilst I was washing my hands El Jefe blundered in and did a loud and rattly sounding pish into the urinal. Over his shoulder he called out.
Keeping yourself busy Boomdawg!
Aye.
I replied tersely. I wondered, could El Jefe be in on this? Surely not? Had he been sent to suss me out? To see if I was on the trail of the Shadow I.T.?
He finished up milking the elf and came over to the sinks to wash his grimy penis hands.
I had moved on to drying my hands with the paper towels. I looked at him square in the eye.
Was in a meeting there, they were talking about the Shadow I.T.
El Jefe jumped like I had thrown a big shit at him.
Who said that?
He asked tersely.
Aha, so this red faced baboon was in on it too! I threw my paper towels in the bin and walked past him. He reached out and grabbed my shoulder with his yet unwashed hands.
I looked in unfettered disgust at the hand on my shoulder. It was perilously close to my nose and I for one had no interest in finding out what his penis smelled like. I shook it off and arched an eyebrow at him quizzically.
It's... It's just... The users doing a thing.
He said lamely. His face fighting with itself in an effort to look like there was nothing to see here.
Just a thing eh?
I harrumphed like a freshly shaved bear then nodded sagely. It was confirmed. There was something going on. Something big. Something shadowy.
Faintly as if from a distance I thought I heard a saxophone playing. I turned up an imaginary collar and headed to the coffee shop to rack up some more black gold.
On the way, I made a vow. I would get to the bottom of this. They couldn't stop me.
And this was the last post we ever got from @meesterboom...
Been great knowing you old chap. No one beats the Shadow IT... no one, nothing, nada...
As a professional IT guy, I am the natural enemy of the Shadow IT. The Shadow IT is when the business goes around the IT department and purchases or builds a system via someone else. As an IT guy it's infuriating but as a human it's fair enough.... how many times has any person on this planet used the word 'amazing' next to the words 'IT department'...?
You told him and put blasphemous ideas into his head! We will have to disappear him now.
You are my enemy and I will defeat you!
Unless you are more efficient and/or more responsive to business needs... in which case I am powerless...
Is that it!! Hot dang, why the secrecy. They must be planning to smash it somehow! Top donk, you are the man!
I must admit I have never heard the word amazing used with IT before :0)
The secrecy is because if IT finds out, they'll lock these guys out of the systems and slow it down with budget requests and red tape. Hell hath no fury like a bureaucratic CIO.
Hahaha, you know that is exactly what will happen! Man, there is gonna be some exciting times ahead!
Amazing IT department, Not?
Not an Amazing IT department?
Oh snap, Sherlock Boom is on the case again! El Jefe & the cheese are up all night tonight deleting emails and text messages I'm sure.
I'm terribly sorry you were grimypenis-handed in the bathroom. It can be a thankless job I know. So i THANK YOU for your services in working to eliminate this shadowy business from the world.
Good day sir.
Its an awful thing to be on the receiving end of a grimy penis hand. I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy! :O)
A very good day to you!
Fo some reason, I expect to learn that the Shadow I.T. is not a shadow and has nothing to do with IT, and that BoomDawg just misunderstood something.
You know, I thought I had just misunderstood something but it seems there is such a thing!
Shadow IT is a term often used to describe information-technology systems and solutions built and used inside organizations without explicit organizational approval.
With the compliments of google - I had to go google it because I am quite a danger if it comes to anything technological - I say keep your eyes and ears open. Something is going on and who better to get to the truth than PI Meesterboom??
it is something SCARY! ^^
![shadowit.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://steemitimages.com/DQmQ3aaKH6RtXqYLJJ4HA1tDsCn1Q8X99g3JUaKPENps6GZ/shadowit.jpg)
I think it might be!!!
Slowly I am enrriqusiendo my dialect, each publication I am recording some of his sayings to use them in some special occasion, where he requires height in the answer, today I am recorded in my "was startled as if he had caught masturbating in his mother's hat" and very eloquent when referring to the virile member "He finished milking the elf". a very perpish way of saying things, you are brilliant dear friend @meesterboom, I must admit that you can not stop thinking what it would be like to see that face.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://media1.tenor.com/images/72d7ae7b19e985e6d485de0053008a56/tenor.gif?itemid=5562373)
excellent work dear friend, thank you very much for another fun day
Thats the face!!!
I am glad you like the way I write some of the crazier phrases!! :O)
The X-files movie was really shit! Unlike your blog, which was really awesome...so many lines I couldn't even choose one!
It was utterly attrocious wasn't it!! I saw an interview and David Duchovny was trying to blame the fans claiming that they shouted for it and then didnt support it when really it was not that at all it was because the plot was shit!! lol!!
And thank you very much lass!!
Ooooh a mystery, and you are meestermulder haha, can I be scully? Damn living across a whole sea :( I would totally be scully.
Could you? Could you... WOULD YOU BE MY SCULLY!!!
That would be smashing. The paid of us, smashed and staggering about smoking sneaky fags and giggling a lot whilst uncovering the truth!!! :OD
Oh man, I can seriously see this hahaha, sooo fun! Thanks for making me laugh out loud, giggle and grin on the daily, I can't wait to stagger and sneak with you even if we're not uncovering shadows and just going pub to pub on my one day visit to you!
HAhaha, yeah, stuff the shadows!!! My kind of staggering!!
Nothing escapes the ever watchful eye of Sherlock Boom! While you're at it, would you mind uncovering why the latest X-Files series doesn't quite measure up? This Shadow I.T. business.. I feel like it's a pandemic that has swept across the globe. I don't whether I should feel comfortable knowing they exist or whether I should join their ranks. Whatever the case, know that Jedauatson is right on your tail. Sitting on top of it.
Jedauatson!! Lol.
It seems to be a pandemic that everyone has been privy to except for me!! There ain't much left to detect... But I will, it might still be a secret villainous base!!
Ah the new X files. They should have just left it!
There were many cases we have cracked in the past, and whenever you feel like the pipe should be dusted, I am right there with you, witty banter and all!
It's all about that banter. No case can be cracked without it!
You do know what can be cracked without it, right? Eggs. We don't want no cracked eggs.
Jokes? We don't want no cracking jokes.
Nuts? We don't want no cracked nuts.
Heads? Well - maybe a few heads will be cracked.
Cracking jokes is like breathing air between the Boomster and I. With regard to the nuts, I tend to agree, but I won't confirm how many times nuts were cracked. After all, to quote a great man, a gentleman never tells. I do expect a few heads to be cracked though.
The Big Fromage with El Jefe and The Beard Whisperer!
![shadow management.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmR5nXLbjBCNwTWRcYEXCk4vaa7NgStRfuS6Cnq2raJ2tE/shadow%20management.jpg)
or maybe it's more like this:
![shadow.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://steemitimages.com/DQmfDFrczKPyuXyorvRybLLT2rAR556jkQvH7vZqdAi8E76/shadow.jpg)
The Shadow Knows!
I always loved that quote, who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men!
I suspect thought it's the second one!
You are quite the gumshoe.
I am full of the detectivity :0D