Happy Families

in life •  11 months ago

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Today myself and the good lady took our little boy to be registered. This is obviously required so they can hunt you down when you are older and extort all sorts of money out of you.

We somehow managed to get out of the door in time for the early morning appointment in good spirits and in good time.

At the local registration office we waited in the reception area to be called. We were the only people waiting and were in fine form as a family. The receptionist coo'ed over our new little boom and myself and the little lady ran around the chairs chasing each other.

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Daddy you be a dinosaur hunting me!!

RAAAR, RAAAAAAAAR!

I roared, as I hunted my prey. Eventually, I caught her and gave her a punishing tickling. She screamed with laughter. I looked around a little guiltily because of the racket we were making but the two members of staff that were there just looked on and smiled at our antics.

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I could tell what they were thinking. Something along the lines of:

Aw look at that amazingly happy family!

Aren't they sweet!

And indeed we were, I felt awfully proud of us all. Joking and jostling we headed into a small office when we were called. The registration lady laughed and smiled in amusement at our antics as we horsed around whilst she took our information.

I could tell she was thinking something along the lines of:

What a magnificent example of familyhood! Why can't all families be like this!

My daughter and I were still playing at dinosaurs. As I was answering the registration lady's questions my daughter ran at me roaring. I bundled her up in my arms and grinned at the lady.

Then the little lady bit my arm. Hard.

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I let out a bit of a scream. She had bitten through my top and right into the skin.

Little lady! We do not bite. Please never ever do that again.

The little lady burst into tears.

Waaaaaahhh, I don't like Daddy. Why is Daddy mean!?!?!

Me!?! I tried to shush her. Her cries got louder and more histrionic. The registration lady looked on with a frozen grin trying to finish her task as quickly as possible.

The good lady had somehow been oblivious to all this and looked up from feeding our little boom.

Daddy, don't shout at the little lady!

I never shouted at her!

I slightly shouted. Somewhat aggrieved.

The little lady WAAAHHHED even more loudly.

The registration lady quickly handed over our documents. She didn't look quite aw the happy family now.

We left the room. As we got into the wating room the little lady threw herself on the floor and screamed like a banshee. I attempted to round her up, trying to be as patient as possible.

Noooooo, Noooooo!! He hurt me!!

She screamed. The waiting room, so quiet before we had been called was now quite busy. I tried to cajole my daughter. She roared and screamed even louder.

He bit me!

Everybody and their dog looked on at the dysfunctional family. I shrugged my shoulders apologetically at them.

It was her that bit me!

Eventually, we got out of there and home. I got out the car and opened the door for my lovely family as they headed into the house.

Well that was fun wasn't it?

I said with gritted teeth.

One by one they glared at me as they trooped past. Even my 10-day old little boom managed a squinty sort of mean look from his mother's arms.

I looked at my slightly bleedy arm and sighed...

Poor Daddy.

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lol what a crazy morning! Be glad they didn't call the social services on you for 'biting' your daughter!

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There is that to be thankful for!

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Yep! I read earlier that smacking children will be banned in Scotland. Nothing was said about biting lol

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Hehe, I sky sure it wouldn't be approved of!

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lol nope!

lol .. sounds like a perfect family chico ;) whatever that word means
I like it that you just write it as so - no pretense nor "making it look like all's perfect"
again .. whatever that "perfect family " means .. I think depends on how we want it to be :D
I prefer mine the way we ended up to now - I feel very freeeeee ~~~
I think I could also scream my papa bit me on my arm - lol hahaha
still chico, precious moments isn't it?
wait till their in their teens .. you'd probably miss moments like this!

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Indeed, they are precious moments!

I wouldn't have it any other way. Although I would have preferred it is she hadn't made me bleed lol!!

So, Mr. Boom is it?.... Can you tell us when was it that you stopped biting your children? ;-)

(Certainly seems your little lady has got your number, boom.)

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I've never stopped it seems.

She totally has got my number. One of the few that can easily render me speechless! :0)

Ohhh, that little stinker! I was not a fan of spanking as punishment for my kids, and my husband wouldn't spank since his own growing up was...I'll call it 'rather harsh' and he was quite determined to be nothing at all like his family...but biting was my line in the sand. Zoe bit me hard enough to break skin once and I'm not even sure I could have stopped my hand from paddling her butt if I wanted to, a red haze seemed to come over my vision and I learned where the saying "I saw red" came from, it's a real thing! On the third good wallop to her bum you would have thought I was murdering her, her scream was so loud, then she burst into tears and snapped me out of it, and we made an unspoken deal- no biting/no spanking. lol.

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I had a slightly similar childhood so have the same mindset! It was totally out of the blue, she has never been a biter before. I was very tempted, I am amazed I managed to stay relatively calm. I can laugh now. Earlier I was like, hey, how the fuck am I the bad guy suddenly!!

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It happens. Especially since she's probably still feeling frustrated about having to share mom and dad, biting is definitely a satisfying way to show frustration- take that! LOL! She'll get used to it, soon enough she won't remember a time when she didn't have a brother :)
I definitely don't want to be critical of the good lady since I'm sure she is a great lady, but I would be wondering how the fuck i was the bad guy if I was the one who got bit too ;)

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Yeah, I know. It was like everyone turn on the Boomdawg!

Gits, she is finely feeling a little abandoned and upset by the whole thing so I look forward to the day she is that used to it!

Haha, welcome to your nuclear family!
Right as you're beaming with pride they stomp on yer nuts!
Standard mate, get used to it 😉

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Haha, my nuts are quite flat by now!!

Hhahahaha o this describes a typical happy family so good - happy to chaos in 5 minutes. I can just see this playing off infront of me and really made me laugh - your name must be meesterskrywer ...master writer

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I have never seen it turn so quick. We were all so happy then all so grim!

I love how it was all your fault, bless you. I would say things get better BUT they don't haha

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Lol, yeah, I have accepted that :0)

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You love it really :)

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I really do!!

Being a parent has its ups and downs, but luckily more ups.

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I do love the ups!

Lol. You're really selling parenthood here.

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I sure am, lol!!

You have really a unique way of writing stories. You turn a simple situation into something special.
I really like your style :)

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Thank you very much mate! :0)

a very normal family dear friend @meesterboom, the children take the game very seriously, all of us who have had children have gone through these issues, my children are already big, now this we are living with my granddaughter abigail, she is very easy, no you can say nothing, a No, is to cry uncontrollably all day.
excellent day dear friend, full of adventure.
I wish you a beautiful day

Geez, Boom! I thought you would know better than to bite the little lady! For the love of God, please don't bite Little Boom! lol Some parents SMH

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One day I will learn! ;0)

jajaja, es bueno divertirse con sus hijos, pero por poco los corren del registro, debe ir a un parque recreacional, jajaja. saludos amigo.

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¡El parque habría sido bueno pero el clima era terrible aquí!

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mucho frio? o calor? aqui la temperatura esta en 31°C

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Jajaja!!! Aqui es 12 -14 !!

just to be a real joy germ.
you will have them for the next 18 - 20 years, they will leave home to go to University, have a fight with their new partners and be back home again in an instant.
welcome to parenting.

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Hehe, I never even thought about that. I kinda assumed that they would stay away once they left!

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then they get divorced, guess where they are going, tail between the legs, back to Mom and Dad to heal the hurt, then onto the next pairing.
what a pleasant life to look forward to. and you only have two yet, keep going, my wife is the eldest of 10.

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Oh wow, ten. That is a fair pile. Must make gatherings quite the event.

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They all lasted 54 years before the first one fell off the perch, now the remaining 8 spend periods of ' not talking' to certain others, just like kindergarten.
Treat them right and they will always call your place home.

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I intend to do that!

Just as you get the place to yourself again and boom!!

Don't get injured too bad! lol

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Trying!! How's the nose?

hahaha. Just a normal day being a parent !

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Yeah, it seems so!!

Lol, The twist and turns of being a parent!

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They are endless!

It's all fun and games until someone bites you.

Poor Daddy, indeed. In a game of he-said-she-said, the crowd would always root for the cuter one. I'm sorry to say that you're more majestic than cute, dude. The little lady knows this and she's taking advantage of this weakness. Much like that time when she told you she was being bullied just so she could get her way. I have no doubt that she would make a fine God-Empress indeed. It's reassuring that Earth will have a seat at the intergalactic table once she has the reins.

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I fear for the earth with her at the reigns!

Or rather, I fear for the galaxy!!

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By the time she's in power, I do feel that we won't have control over our own emotions, so I guess we have nothing to fear then!

I am mostly the teeth gritter....you won't believe what brats find themselves in my shop. Mine on the other hand are absolute angels. (Except they climb everything)

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Climbing, that can be a pain. My fuel lies to climb on people!

Wow good use of words to describe events. I enjoyed reading

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Cheers mate!

To be honest, I enjoy watching kids torture their parents, I say in my head, that's your punishment for being happier than me... 😅

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Lol, your turn will come ;0)

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not anytime soon I hope ^_^

Oh man. I have had these days. Poor Daddy indeed. <3

the newborn glare... very common. his sister will keep him in line.

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I hope she does!

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I do hope so!

LOL. Seriously though, poor daddy is what I was thinking, too. You blinked and everything changed from heaven to ... well, not quite heaven .... I had to giggle at the abrupt change in the registration lady with the turnabout of events. lol. Sounds like someone might be a tad jealous about having to share mommy and daddy? (((hugs)))

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I think she is a little. It really did go from joy to shoot in and five seconds. Today I am hoping, will be a new day!