Baby Weight
I mean, ah don't know about you but am kinda glad to be back!
I glared at the speaker like a cat would at a wet leather shoe. Was he for real? Could this dude really be standing in front of me claiming that he was glad to be back in work whilst I was slumped at my desk like a slowly deflating balloon of sadness?
I'm not. I hate working. It's shit.
Johnny Worklover shook his head at my folly and trotted off to get held down by a farmer and shorn of his wool like the other sheep.
I humphed and pushed things about on my messy desk sulkily. First day back at work and already about ten people had told me how glad they were to be back.
To cheer myself up I decided to go to the gym at lunchtime.
Whilst I was masturbating my arms on the bicep curl a girl from my Department came over with a big grin on her face.
Hey hey boom dawg! Happy New Year!
And a Happy New Year to you too.
She looked at my pulsating biceps then at my handsome face.
You hitting it hard to lose the baby weight then?
The fucking what? Did she just say that I, Captain Adonis had baby weight?!? I shook my jowly face in irritation.
Oh you know, just getting back into it.
I forced a grin and tried not to make it a fuck you one.
She winked at me.
We should chum up some lunchtimes. It's boring working out yourself. Sometimes you need someone else to give you that push eh?
My flirty flirty radar suddenly twitched and when I say flirty flirty radar I mean my penis. What the bloody hell? Was she putting the moves on the boomster? Was this how it started? One minute we would be working out in the gym together and next minute there would be jizzum and fanny juice flying around a hotel room like spilled drinks in the International Space Station?
Well, not on my watch missy.
Sounds great, aye.
Said my mouth, which seemed to be in cahoots with my treacherous penis.
Cool, I will ping you, we can set something up!
She flounced off. All hair and tight lycra.
I harrumphed like a small pony having it's mane brushed too roughly. Baby weight? Gym dates? Hmmph, fuck off to the pair of them.
Haha 😂 that is really something else, the gym is toture! I prefer to just play sports, no more boring gym for me lol
I quite like it normally!
I hope lady Boom isn't reading this, or you may find yourself pummelled with a shitty manly stick when you get home and be left to sleep outside in the garage! lol
HEhe, I always tell her when someone comes sniffing!! :O)
I would be sharpening that stick if that were my hubby... lol
Hopefully for the woman! lol
haha xD That depends...
lol!
Hilarious! Does this new contact mean you will be burning shoe leather getting to the gym everyday? Just for motivation, of course!
Of course! My motivation will be rock hard! :0D
Holaaa, amigoo, Feliz año nuevo, no te preocupes por lo que te aya dicho la chica, disfruta feliz jajaja, seguro que quería que la cargaras para ver si eres fuerte o no. hahaha. Saludos amigo cuidate.
hola hola hola amiga ¡¡feliz Año Nuevo para usted!! No me preocupo por sus palabras locas. jeje: 0)
tiene que decirle a la chica a palabras necias oídos sordos, hahaha, Saludos y abrazos a la familia.
Lo haré; 0) saludos y abrazos al tuyo también!
Hoooo, NOoooo, Because women always use that expression when you have just become a father, or you can not have a few kilos for the abuse of pasta or the excessive consumption of beer, why should it be related to the pregnancy of our wife?
Good thing you take advantage of the lunch schedule to attend the gymnastics congratulations for this determination.
A great story dear friend, very funny.
I wish you a wonderful afternoon dear friend @meesterboom
I know, some things should be saved. A man's body should never be derided thus!!!
I will never be out of the gym now ;0)
Omg, this is so hilarious, I used to hate going back to work after a holiday and everyone was so pumped to be there, like what are you people crazy?! LOL as i kept reading and got to your workout, that is when my pc got soaked lol I spit my tea out I laughed so hard, glad i happened upon this one for sure omg thank you!
Hehe, Cheers!
I have found it quite ridiculous the number of people who are relieved that such a tortuous thing as a holiday is over!! Madness!!
Myself I would much rather spend time with the ones I love that's for sure!
My thoughts exactly!!! Anything else doesn't make sense!
Hahaha, looks like the boom is getting negged.
I'm not sure what sort of psychotic institution you're working for, but not a single person has told me they're glad to be back at work... do you work for a Jumping Castle Chocolate Factory? Why on Earth do these people hate their home lives so much?
I really don't know! I mean, it's not even that pleasant a place to work! Do you would think everyone would be feeling rubbish but the majority seem to be cock-a-hoop to be back. I can't understand it!!
Maybe they all spent their Christmas break locked in Iron Maidens, or trapped in a snake pit or had to spend time with their own kids.
I have to admit, baby weight is an odd tease... pudding weight I can totally understand.. but you clearly weren't just born. Also, your images are excellent!
I think she was being funny because our baby is only a few months old. Is normally something that is said to women!!
That's it, she is dead!
Dangerous territory Mr. Boom! Red Alert! Red Alert! Torpedo coming your way...
Don't worry, is not the first time someone has attempted to rob me of my fantastic sperms with their wanton ways!!
lol!
what's this?
hahaha .. you're back to work this soon!
that sucks chico!
next time, you should bring a mirror and whoever says that to you ask them if they've seen themselves on one and if not you have one with you ..
why can't some people just say something positive to everyone instead of always throwing a beautifully paraphrased mud on another person's face
now, do you mind if I play shake it off? :D I know you hate Taylor but I think you could use her song this time
and I don't mean the jizzum :P
hahahaah
I know, back already. It's rubbish!!
Hehe, I am shaking it off. Ooer, and I mean in a Taylor way :0D
I peed a little from laughing so hard ... I have nothing witty to add ... this is standup comedy right there.
Lol, Cheers!! It fair Cheers me up when I wrote it down!