Armageddon Beans
Hey, Daddy-Bear? What's this I found in the car?
The Good Lady's voice echoed stridently from the hall as she stepped back into the house.
I stiffened and not in a naughty beef snarler kind of way.
Shit, what has she found? A spanner? No, nothing wrong with that, mostly. That chocolate bar that kept melting in the heat and then freezing in the cold? Nah, that was science.
I relaxed, it was cool. There was nothing gnarly in the car that I had to fear the Good Lady finding.
She pushed open the living room door, in her hands a four-pack tin of beans. She held them up accusingly.
Oh fuck!? My beans!!?
Why are these in the car boot. Shouldn't they be in the house?
She had her hip cocked aggressively at me and since we had decided not to pop out any more devil children I knew that could only mean trouble.
No. I'm afraid they have to stay in the car.
I said warily, in case she covered the distance between us in a few bounds and went for my throat.
Stay in the car? Beans? Why? I will put them in the cupboard.
She made to move off with them.
No!
I stretched a hand out. My shout disturbing one of the cats, which looked up from washing its arse and gave me the vinegar eye.
The Good Lady looked at me in astonishment.
Daddy-Bear, are you ok? It's only some beans?
I lowered my head a little, my shoulders sagging.
We have to keep them in the car.
But why?
They're my Armageddon Beans.
I pulled myself upright and looked at her with a hint of smugness.
What do you mean Armageddon beans!? I've never heard of anything so daft in my entire life.
The Good Lady shook her head at me.
You won't be saying that when the end comes...
I pronounced in a doom-laden end is nigh voice.
She made a packed face as if I had slipped some lovage in her yoghurt again. Then she shook her head and lowered the beans to the floor.
Fine, keep your beans in the car. Someone I think you are nuts.
She walked away into the kitchen.
I giggled. Nuts, eh? Hmm, maybe I should get some nuts for the car too?
Once again the talented Mr. Boom strikes. haha!
How much is this is true? I was thinking of stocking up some food for the crash.
My favorite line
I asked my husband what is in his van? I enjoyed the look on his face. :)
Yeah, they're not really Armageddon beans, I was just playing with her, lol!!
🤣🤣🤣 nuts and beans would make for an explosive apocalypse.... a gaseous end of days, an acrid Armageddon.
Ok, I've exhausted my word play quota for the day 😉
Posted using Partiko Android
HAHAHA! Oh man, I never even thought of the gaseous Armageddon that beans and nuts would lead to!!
Some inspiration for a part two in the car beans saga 😉
Although, in a zombie apocalypse an explosive arse would be a potent weapon. Walking dead missed a trick with that one 🤣
Posted using Partiko Android
I am just trying to figure out how I would weild myself at my zombie opponents. Lol!!!
Ha ha, it's about the best comedic use for yoga as a story element I can think of 🤣
Camera focuses in on the shuffling masses of the dead.
"Brains".....
Camera pans round to a motley crew of latex wearing hipsters and soccer moms...
"Now class, enter downward facing dog position.... Lighters at the ready.... and release."
KaBOOM 🧟🔥
Haha you are really on to something there! I can see one of them stuck and another coming over and Spain them hard on the belly to encourage the fire!! Lol
don’t forget your canned sardines. sardines and beans are the Secret Armageddon Cheat Code (dont tell em)
Got it. This car is starting to look awesome!!
hello :-)
Aroogen!!
Goodbye
I'm pretty sure beans need to be kept in a temperature range XD You should definitely replace the beans with nuts and put the beans in your armageddon bunker.
Aw damn, it gets pretty hot during the day and then for at night. I wonder if it has made them wonky!
To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.
Brought to you by @tts. If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.
Hi @meesterboom!
Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
Your UA account score is currently 6.223 which ranks you at #264 across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has not changed in the last three days.
In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 173 contributions, your post is ranked at #29.
Evaluation of your UA score:
Feel free to join our @steem-ua Discord server
Thank you so much for participating in the Partiko Delegation Plan Round 1! We really appreciate your support! As part of the delegation benefits, we just gave you a 3.00% upvote! Together, let’s change the world!
Congratulations @meesterboom! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPTo support your work, I also upvoted your post!
Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness to get one more award and increased upvotes!