The Chat
Daddy-Bear, can we have a chat?
I froze. Oh-oh, here it was. The moment I had been dreading. Had she found my secret bin in the attic? What about the emergency cigarettes in the garage?
Oh noes. Please don't let it be the wasp jar? Flippity flip, or those discord messages from the Croatian girls?
I looked up from the wooden block tower building I had been building to surprise the Little Boom and tried to act entirely innocent of all of the above.
The Good Lady came into the lounge and took a seat.
She didn't look mad. Which was a plus, then again sometimes the worst volcanic eruptions come from the quietest of sleepy volcanoes.
Chat, lass? What about? I'm always available for a chat!
I said cheerily whilst thinking the exact opposite.
The Good Lady chewed her lip for a moment, seemingly with indecision. Then she nodded imperceptibly and spoke.
I have been thinking a lot lately and I was wondering... Have you ever considered switching roles?
I raised an eyebrow as if a Goose had gotten into the kitchen and was pecking my underpants out of the washing machine.
Oh dear. The 21st century had a lot to answer for. This damned gender fluidity and ever-increasing letters to add to the LGBTQPSRSTUVX+ etc.
What!?? Wear a fucking dress and clip-clop about the house in high heels?
I said as sensitively as I knew how.
Hmm. I mean, it might have it merits but to what end?
The Good Lady took in one of those breaths and let it out in a controlled sigh.
No, that is not what I mean as I am sure you well know. I mean our roles in the house.
She said patiently.
I tilted my head to the side and made a Hnh sound.
I mean me get a bloody job and you stay at home to look after the kids?!
She skrawked.
Oh.
That stopped me in my tracks.
I had a think.
Me, stay at home and drink coffee whilst doing house chores? Putting the odd bit of washing on and watching television?
Going to the park and making hee-haw noises with the local mummies when they talked about the fat hairy man in the local swimming pool?
She had me.
I looked at her to see if she was serious.
She was looking back at me defiantly.
Hell, she was serious.
Fuck yeah let's do it. I have never heard of a better idea in my entire life!!!
I trilled excitedly like a budgie on a stick.
The Good Lady looked taken aback.
What!? Really? I thought you would be mad?
She said hesitantly.
Mad? Me?? Hells no. Let's go baby girl. Let's do this thing!
I whooped, spanking my own bum and pretend riding an invisible horse.
Erm, well, let's think about it properly first, eh?
She said slowly.
I nodded.
Of course.
Ha, somehow, I don't think she's is quite so keen after all...
A grand idea. Though I fear minor problems might erupt, around the corner when the missus finds out you're teaching the kids to do the laundry and dirty dish chores at an early age, other important duties such as changing out the remote batteries as they get low, fluffing the foot pillows, mowing the grass, fetching a 'just few more beers' from the refridge, then walking down to the market for more Pork Rinds, even in the sideways rain. Though I could be wrong on all of this, and it might just work out grand. Me, of little faith. Shame on me ahead of time.
Shame.... Shame!!!!
Such little faith, a walk in the park it would have to be. How could it be anything else!
I have already made am appointment at the salon to get my nails done!! :0D
I find girls get mad when I use the female filter on snapchat and look waayyy hotter than them
Oh silly. All "girls" have to do is realize that you don't want to hang out with snapchat-filter-you and they'll turn the scales on you and have you buying them apology gifts.
Or just ignoring you.
I
They are funny that way. My missis only gets annoyed when I shake my bacon to my own filtered pics! :0D
😂
Posted using Partiko iOS
Thank you so much for participating in the Partiko Delegation Plan Round 1! We really appreciate your support! As part of the delegation benefits, we just gave you a 3.00% upvote! Together, let’s change the world!
hhahaha.
Having a "job" sucks.
With my current steem earnings, we only need to see it burst to 6.67USD per steem and I can quit pretending to look for work, and "freelancing."
That is not so unfeasible! I can smell that day coming!!
My Tarot Cards said mid October.
Posted using Partiko iOS
Maybe mid-October 2020. That has a nice ring to it
excelente post
Muy bien y gracias amigo!
estupendo hombre!
Hmm, I wonder..... Social media profile update to 'budding house husband' :D
Hehe, hablando tres bien!! :0)
Can you imagine how good it would be!! Like eternal holiday. I would probably become a jacket alcoholic!!
For sure - once the hour or so's worth of daily chores were done, get on the good stuff :D
Bet I could do an hours chores in ten minutes!
With a quiet house and a cold beer waiting, I wouldn't bet against it!
What does your wife do again? Is she a qualified midwife or doola or whatever yet? Does a doola pay IT rates? I'm guessing not. On the plus side, you'd probably have more time for beer reviews and steem!
She is a qualified doula now! That would never pay the bills though. Her old job was in the youth support sector and was quite well paid before Parenthood struck!
I would love it, it would be like eternal Christmas!
Hey Boom, can you hook me up with one of those Croatians? Gotta diversify my portfolio 😂
Hire a maid to do the chores whenever the good lady leaves for work, free vacations!! More time for Steem.
Ahem. Running a household is more difficult than hiring a maid. You have to do other stuff too.
Lots..
Of
Other.
Stuff.
and it takes a long time to do it!
Depends on the maid and how much you pay... I have people in my family that their maid did everything for them and their kids, including shopping, cooking, cleaning, homework, driving , walking the dog, etc... it's all a matter of money at the end, ofc, it's not the same thing, especially when kids are involved, spending times with the little ones is important and can affect their psychological development.
I stay home first world style - I don’t want to say it’s “easy” but being an “average level” house mom is waaaaaaay easier than having a 9-5. Even without the maid. Some years are more work than others. My comment obviously didn’t get across my very silly humor cause I’m so busy house momming but having time to chat on steemit.
The dryer is going most the work
Right now...
Posted using Partiko iOS
They seem immensely drawn to the smell of steempower!! There is only one option... Power up for Croatian girls!!! :0)
Steem is the next Croatian tinder 😂
I can see that happening too. Come on the steem!! :0D
You need to play hard to get ... then you'll get bonus points for doing it!!!
I always play hard to get!!
This is serious, it is even more weird that you agreed to the terms, most men especially in Africa, will never buy that idea.
I think it's a great idea, no work! :0D don't think it works happen though
Staying at home is the most lovely job I have ever had. I wish you lots of luck for your future at-home employment. Maybe your wife is thinking you could take over the doula gig when she goes back to work - you could earn yourself some beer money.
I would need gallons of beer to drown out the eyeball pain of childbirth!!! Shudders