The Useless Mother
I know of this kid, who's parents were separated. He was only 4 when it happened. He stayed with the mom for a while, when she was still a good mom.
And then, all that changed when he was five. The mom became less of a mom.
He didn't really understand why he couldn't stay with his mom anymore. He was supposed to be sent back to his grandma's place, so he could be taken care of, until he was 18. In his mind, naive as he was supposed to be, he just couldn't come to terms that while his friends' mothers were there for them, his mother deliberately chose to put him away. He just couldn't understand.
His dad decided differently. From picking him up from his kindy every evening and staying over only on weekends, he stayed with his dad full time now. That meant going to school, picking him up, having meals together, sleeping, playing over the weekends, everything. He later found out that his dad gave away his ownership of the house they were staying to his mom, thinking that his mom would need it to take care of him. A roof over their heads, she said.
Well, no roof anymore. Now that the son wasn't staying with his mom, the house was rented out. Bitter and disgrunted was the dad.
Despite that, his dad chose to stay near the mom, so that the son could get to spend time with her. Both were dissapointed, for even a 3 minute walk seemed impossible. The mom only saw the son at most once a week, the least, could be up to weeks. The nightly phone calls were a regular affair, until that too, became weeks apart. Sometimes if not for the son to initate the call, there would be no conversation.
The kid grew up, passed his 9th birthday. He heard conversations at school, or around the relatives' house. They sometimes whispered behind his back, asking why his mom wouldn't want to spend time with him. He thought he was bad, a burden, so much so that even his own mother wanted to send him away. You see, he, along with the rest of those back-whisperers, couldn't accept the fact that a mother would be so irresponsible.
But that wouldn't change the fact that she wasn't there for him.
Her mom would travel but not bring him along. Gifts yes, but he wanted the company more. He looked forward to weekends where he could sleep over at his mom's boyfriend's place, even if it's just for a night. Over time he got dissapointed as he learned it wasn't always a sure thing.
When he did go back to his grandma's place to visit, he would ponder why even when they were siblings, his aunts and uncle would choose to spend more time with him, than his own mother. He heard the phrases like birds of the feather flocks together, or the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and he would assume that his uncles and aunts, being loving parents, would mean somewhere deep inside, his mom would be too.
It's genetics, right? Like what he learned in science studies?
He would come to learn that it's not the case. He figured sometimes science just couldn't explain everything. It's not as predictable as the equations he learned in his books. He just chose to take it that when he got to spend time with his mother, it was his lucky break. He slowly understood that his mom prioritse her own personal interest over her responsiblities, and he was reminded that it was an isolated case. All his friend's mother seemed okay, behaving like what mothers should. It's just his mom was different, and in time, he hope he could understand why.
So how do I know so much about this poor kid, abandoned by his useless mother?
I am his dad.
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