Everybody knows that Big Tobacco is the devil and governments tax the crap out of cigarettes. But I smoke - tobacco is one of very few things that consistently helps me manage the psychological difficulty that comes along with a wicked brain condition that I live with - and will continue doing so until I no longer want to. For years, I rolled my own with the best affordable tobacco I could find, and have noticed that the quality of this has been declining steadily. I eventually grew fed up with finding bits of plastic, bugs, paper, and other crap in the bags of manufactured rolling tobacco available at the store, so I started looking for other options.

I tried growing the stuff myself - and will continue doing so - but it never came out looking as good as this stock image of a tobacco plant from pixabay.

In fact, this scraggly sunflower is the only nice looking thing that has so far come out out of my garden's "tobacco bed" this year.

Fortunately, I found an awesome company operating out of cigar country that would sell me bulk cured organic cigarette tobacco leaves, and learned from this company that a tobacco leaf is not a taxable "tobacco product" until its center stem has been removed. While the leaf is still whole, even cured tobacco is apparently regulated - and taxed - as a simple agricultural commodity.

Each variety of tobacco I ordered arrived crammed into a big plastic bag in which holes had been punched to prevent mold from growing while the shipment was in transit.

Once I started ordering, two things became immediately apparent: 1.) real tobacco is amazing, and 2.) processing real tobacco into cigarettes is actually quite a bit of work.

The first step is spreading out the crumpled leaf and getting all the dirt, bugs, spider webs, and other junk off it. Some leaves can be cleaned by simply blowing on/shaking them, some leaves are caked in mud or mold and must be discarded, but most require a light spritz of water and a once-over with a bit of cloth.

(CAUTION: HANDLING RAW TOBACCO CAN BE SERIOUSLY HAZARDOUS, AND SHOULD ONLY BE DONE BY RESPONSIBLE ADULTS THAT KNOW AND ACCEPT THE RISKS)

After cleaning, the desired amount of leaf is separated from stem and flattened.

Here is half of an organic burley leaf ready to go. Burley is the variety of tobacco most often used to give cigarette blends their characteristic "kick".

The cleaning/de-stemming is repeated for each variety you want to include in your blend.

After a bunch of trial and error, I use an organic, Canadian-grown, golden Virginia strain as my main filler, in a roughly three-to-one ratio blend (by weight) with the burley tobacco.

The leaves are then stacked together...

...and compressed into a small bundle, which is rolled into a tight little cigar and placed on a cutting board.

I use a scrap of hard maple as a portable cutting board, and carefully chop my little cigar-bundles, one mm at a time, with a utility razor.

This can be somewhat time-consuming.

Once the tobacco is shredded, the pile is mixed around a bit until it is of even consistency. Following this, you're ready to roll.

My preference is to use "Raw" papers because they are extremely thin and have no flavor at all. I also use 8mm x 15mm "Top" filter tips because they are the right size and density. Both can be purchased in bulk for about $0.01/ea.

About this much loosely piled tobacco...

...is the right amount for a well-rolled cigarette.

Note that the filter tip is only rolled halfway into the paper. This way, once the tube has been completed, the filter can be plunged the rest of the way into the tube, which presses it firmly against the tobacco pile and makes for a sturdy cigarette.

These burn very evenly, and are extremely strong.

Doing this has cut the number of cigarettes I smoke in half, and reduced the cost of maintaining this habit significantly.

It should also be noted that properly stored whole leaf tobacco does not go "stale", but instead ages quite nicely. I only buy tobacco about twice per year.

Coming soon: an attempt to cure this year's embarrassingly small tobacco leaf harvest.