How to Give More Meaningful Compliments.
Most people like getting complimented.
But have you ever thought about the type of compliments given out the most? I seem to see compliments that reflect a person's physical appearance most often. Cute, Sexy, Hot, Adorable. Okay, cute and adorable could mean personality wise but I really hear mostly shallow compliments based on appearance. So, what are some good compliments to give your lover or friend, or kids instead? I think it is especially important with kids to compliment them on traits other than being cute or pretty.
Obviously, you mean well when you compliment someone even when it's based on looks. It can be a good thing to let people know they are pretty. I am just suggesting we also dig a bit deeper and try to dole out compliments that have more of an impact and make people feel confident in their skills and positive traits.
So, dig a little deeper for those compliments.
Think about what you like about their personality. Do they make you laugh a lot? Let them know that they are friggin' hilarious and make you struggle to not pee your pants. Do they write amazing stories? Create wonderful art? Play music that makes you feel things? Let them know you love their talent and creations. Are they kind, generous, intelligent? These things are all far more worthy of praise than someone's looks which aside from personal grooming are largely based on genetics which are out of our control. Also, looks are ultimately meaningless. I feel much happier when someone compliments my intellectual merit or my creative skills. I EARNED those things. I worked for them. Well, some people are born with more intellect than others but you still have to study and desire to learn and share that knowledge with the world.
Complimented people based on their looks is easy and often lazy. Not to mention, sometimes it has ulterior motives. A genuine compliment based on acknowledging something great about a person that is not skin deep can go a long way and really make a person's day.
Clearly, it is still okay to compliment someone's appearance.
Don't let that stop you from telling a stranger they have a cool hat, or awesome boots though. Random stranger compliments (not creepy "you're sexy" from strangers) can also make a person's day! Someone complimented my hair recently and it made me quite happy. ^_^
Also, don't think I am telling you not to let your lover know that looking at them drives you wild with desire and anticipation. Keep that alive. Just let them know about the other things that keep you sticking around day after day. Let them know they are MORE than sexy and when you compliment them on their looks maybe get creative with it and avoid just calling someone "pretty" or "handsome". Compliment something that pertains to just them. The way their eyes form little rainbows when they smile. The dimples on their cheeks. The beauty mark right above their belly button. That strand of hair that's always falling in their face. The gentle curve of their back. I don't know, just really look at them and say something special. Like I said, dig deeper.
Thanks to my talented, smart, dedicated followers for reading this post!
I don't usually like getting compliments, specially long winded ones. I just get uncomfortable, not knowing how to respond. Should I compliment them back? How sincere should I be? Another story would be complimenting indirectly, by action. Like when someone listen when you speak without interrupting or when you do someone a favor. Small stuff like that.
I rarely use compliments about physical appearance any more, it just feels so boring and dull. I try my best to comment on character traits as much as possible. I feel most people are far to worried about physical perception, it consumes there whole life!
I agree! I am glad that as I age I care less about my appearance. Especially since getting sick changed it. Now I focus more on my skills.
Skills are much more important :)
What this points out to me is that we simply have a very shallow culture.
You are obviously not your average girl and thus have a depth of conscious many do not have.
I would agree that there are far more fulfilling compliments that being sexy or cute but many people are not even looking beyond that surface.
So what seems to be so important to me and hopefully this post helps inspire that, is to begin taking the time and attention to look beyond the surface into the depths of people. One cannot give a compliment of depth until depth has been perceived.
So I shall take this opportunity to give you a compliment starting on the surface but going to more depth.
I like the cute little badges that you make, but what I really like about them is not that they are cute, it is that you are unique and creative and are sharing the specialness that is you. Yet how many people make their own badges? Very few indeed, they just use the computer generated ones that everyone else uses....
So what I really appreciate and would compliment more than the cuteness is that you are in touch with ur self beyond fitting in or trying to be cool. Maybe not everyone appreciates this but I appreciate it a lot more than whatever the badge may say.
Grateful you are in touch with unique you~*~
Yeah you are absolutely right. Many people just don't bother to look any deeper. I guess I tend to forget that.
You are clearly not your average bloke and come across genuine and very present and aware. Also, I really, really dig your hand-made knives. A lot.
Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment. :)
Well you deserve a thoughtful comment because you have depth and you think.
I am a very thoughtful/considerate person but even so don't necessarily waste my time trying to communicate on such a level with most because its simply not where they are at. Sometimes people actually PREFER a surface conversation of compliment.
I can remember MANY times where I give someone a compliment of depth and they actually get very uncomfortable. Yet based on your post you obviously prefer something of substance.
As for the knives....YES they are EPIC! I super duper love knives and I figure every one should have one around and if so might as well be beautiful art knives!
Have u checked out the web site? There are lots of nice ones there.
Enjoying our exchange, SteemON!
Talented, smart, dedicated... wow what a nice complement! If your followers were hot, sexy, or beautiful, I would have been confused.
Compliments on Steem posts should be honest.
I am sure many of my followers are attractive but I don't even know how most of them look. If they are using Steemit though they are clearly smart! :)
Commenting someone physically, is not really good deal. I generally do complement on their skills. It was really so good of you to share this, which generally people don't like to talk about :D
This very nice post makes me feel that you are a very talented, smart and creative person. My compliments to you, thanks for posting.
So much yes! People can become lazy with their compliments and only comment on appearance. I personally enjoy it much more when I receive meaningful comments. Lately the ones that have meant a lot to me are, "You are a wonderful mom," "You have such a way with words," and "thank you for being flexible and understanding."
Excellent post. So many times when men just call me "beautiful" and "gorgeous" I just feel like a standin for every other woman - like they aren't even seeing me.
You can't compliment someone's intellect without actually knowing them. As I understand from the society made rules, usually the compliment has the role of sending friendly signals to the new person from the group, along side with the typical hello
Also, I kinda have a different (maybe dumb) perspective about this... But in general, for me, compliments can be:
an opinion - when it comes after you show something you worked on... even looks... there were some minutes/hours sacrificed for that look, so it can be legit... because no matter how beautiful a person is, if they don't put some effort in personal hygiene,
hypocrisy - when obviously the other person has something to gain (including the respect of the group of monkeys from which the presumed shitty person who doesn't deserve the compliment is a part of).
Great article @lauralemons :) I think its a great perspective to have. Complimenting someones actions or character feels more meaningful.