10 Ugly Truths About Being A Leader And Why I Quit Being One

 
It is widely believed that leaders are something special. Societal norms reinforce awe towards the title mostly due to tradition. What is tradition though other than a passive promotion of the past? People who have been in leadership positions know the real reason for their crowning. Most do not want to admit it. Others masterfully camouflage the scheme. I was a leader. Here is why I quit being one:

1. Most People Are Willingly Idiots

Having experienced leadership in two different environments I witnessed this trend firsthand. In one instance as a community leader, and in another, well, I can’t really disclose. Let’s just say that camouflage and uniforms were involved.

Although both instances were completely different in context, people acted much the same way. After establishing myself with simple initiatives, I could say the most absurd thing and people would blindly buy it. My team members were willing to follow because they didn’t see me as a person; they merely saw their own aspirations expressed through me. Smart people, people which I knew on a personal level since before becoming a leader, were turning into complete idiots. I could never take them seriously again. Friends that cannot offer a challenge become puppets.

2. People lie to themselves

This is true whether we speak about religious leaders, army leaders, anarchic leaders, statist leaders, science leaders or anything else you can bring to mind. I was even quoted online about things I never said. People were lying about me, elevating me into something special, inventing stories, reinforcing a hero idea. It was all a sham but nobody knew it except myself. I then started realising that heroes of historical and religious context were promoted much the same. People lie to themselves first and then to others in order to elevate an idea greater than themselves. A person that has the courage to represent that idea is always ideal.

Doubt it? I actually made a facebook experiment testing this very idea. I photoshopped a red flare above my hometown landscape and posted it on facebook. Within two hours I was trending in all major media outlets of my country as a UFO story. People on facebook, hundreds of people, actually claimed to have seen the object while driving. Others were almost blinded on their terrace. Some even heard noises coming out of it. I even had people PM me telling me “Aha! I bet you feel like a fool now for not believing in UFO’s!”. I didn’t know whether I should laugh or cry. It was a mass paranoia. It was as if I had taken the most massive red pill in regards to human deception. You often hear about it but it is a whole different story to witness it in person.

People lie to confirm their own beliefs, whether those are about religious miracles, UFO’s, or the leaders they follow. Humans lie, and they do it much more when they are under the spell of a crowd. This experiment was my first slap back to reality about how mass delusion can be manipulated by a leader and how ideas can go viral in an instant. (PM me and I can show you the screenshots of the story if you want. They are in my native language).

3. Followers are your mental slaves

Group meetings often felt like being in a psych ward, conversing with mentally-challenged individuals. It was demeaning watching people literally playing stupid in order for you to take their hand and walk them through life. When I see leaders around me enjoying this treatment “humbly”, I can’t see but evil in their face. You see, I wasn’t that kind of leader. My previous “uniform leadership" had stripped me off of that delusion; missions would not succeed if initiatives were not taken by everyone.

When I founded a freethinking platform, the second organisation I was a leader in, I got involved on a personal level with my members advising them about the importance of taking initiatives and thinking for themselves. The nature of the organisation as I had dreamt it to be was to create freethinking individuals away from herd mentality; away from leaders. I founded a freethinking group in a country where just mentioning any involvement with freethinking ideas could brand one for life both professionally and socially. Nonetheless, I went forward and started the organisation even when I was branded as an immoral heretic. The most disappointing thing of all was that followers did not advance. They just remained followers, unable to take any initiative.

Taking a stance on a subject is often all it takes to be a leader. It might require some courage but this a quality every human has locked inside. People who follow leaders do not want to think for themselves. They want others to do the thinking for them, defending them even at the cost of their very own identity. As a leader one doesn’t even have to lift a finger. Individuals will sacrifice themselves for you, believing instead that they do it for the cause. How naive. “If only they knew”, one could say. But really, they did know. They just chose to embrace an ideology, a mission, rather than their own self. This is one of the most important lessons I learned as a leader: Followers are just low self-esteem individuals you can easily manipulate — while at the same time making them feel good about themselves.

4. You will never be short of enemies

There is a saying stating that there is no such thing as bad fame. It is true and it fits perfectly when it comes to leaders. Whatever controversy goes around the image of a leader reflects well for the leader and bad for the followers. Why is that? Every single leader that ever existed on the face of this earth, every single ideology that had masses flocking together, was promoted with good intent. No leader wanted millions to die or things to turn sour. Things go sour because a handful of followers are insane —and surprisingly enough— the most powerful drivers of your cause. The Pareto Principle (80/20 rule) applies perfectly here. 20% of my followers were clinically insane and that reflected bad to the rest. It just made me look important because the crazies were adding the passion while the enemies of the cause were getting even more infuriated.

The worst enemies of a leader generate the most attention. My most loyal members, the tinfoil loonies, were merely perceived as dedicated to the cause. They would often suggest ubsurd things that involved vandalism, shootings, or donating their life savings, all because they believed in the cause so much. I had them at the tip of my fingers. I felt like a leader of a cult. It was extremely tough to calm them down and convince them to go by voluntary means rather than violent revolutions.

This didn’t actually work. Eventually the enemies of the cause (opposing ideologies — mostly statists, government groups and religious affiliations) started accusing me personally for the actions of my followers. The more attention I was generating in the media, the more I was accused. Most of the stories were lies, much like the stories my followers had invented to praise me. I ended up in a situation where I was the only one comprehending my true intentions. Everybody else were fighting about a vague utopian idea. I can guarantee you that every single leader that has ever lived was manufactured much the same way. After a point, you can’t even correct the crowd. Trying to correct them is meaningless; they will just smile and tell you that you are being humble. What a mad world we are all living in. Being a follower is such an awful state of mind.

5. Most people are hopeless

Only after creating the group I came to realise how society was making people sick. Most of them had nowhere to turn to. Anxiety disorders, childhood trauma, suicidal thoughts. The majority of the members in the group had major issues. Some were under some sort of psychiatric medication to cope with anxiety, depression or both. Xanax were thrown around like M&M’s. Who could blame them after all? Society is in many ways sick. This is why I don’t buy modern “disorders” for a split second. Disorder is just another way to frame the individual as a non-conformist. “Oh, you don’t enjoy how things are? Here are some pills to make you cope with it”. Psychology should have a new brand name to clear any confusion. It should be called "Social Engineering".

Traumatised individuals are everywhere. They mostly lurk around different groups trying to belong somewhere. They need human connection and any group will do really. They seek masters and enemies because they are pissed, not with “the government”, “the church”, “science”, “capitalism”, or any other abstract enemy, but mostly with themselves. I made a group in order to help people become individuals, but most became groupies because they simply couldn’t help it. It felt like I was impersonating Jesus in Life Of Brian.

Hopelessness also creates mini-me's. They will dress like you, talk like you, act like you. I had people who changed their entire persona. I didn’t find it pretty. Sometimes you start wondering. Do I really act and talk like this? It helps for personal reflection, but it doesn’t help when one tries to promote individuality. It looks rather ridiculous.

I wasn’t that surprised though. In groups, our primitive instincts can easily overtake us. We try to imitate what seems to be successful behaviour. Individuals become memes without even realising it.

6. You will be hated as easily as you were loved

You know the saying “easy come, easy go”? It pretty much applies here as well. New members stormed in at the beginning, flooding the group and meetings. Everybody was so excited because something was to be done about the medieval state my country was in. Everybody cheered for me the first few years. It was exhilarating.

As time went on and I started pointing out that people were the problem (and not their leaders) and criticizing each and every member on a personal level for lack of personal initiative, things started turning sour. What was I thinking? Every leader makes sure to appoint tasks to delegates. I was to remain sort of untouchable.

I didn’t want to take that path. I wanted to engage with people on a personal level and as a friend, not a leader. I soon realised that it would be easier to have the universe divide by zero. Nobody wants to take responsibility. Engaging in “tough love” practices, like I always used to do with friends, was like stripping followers naked from their own hypocrisy.

The false glorious stories turned into false horror stories. I wasn’t surprised at all.

7. The only way to go on is to continue lying

There comes a point where one has to make a choice. Either continue over-idealising, over-generalising and over-selling an ideology, or choose to be an objective communicator. Over-generalising is lying and no matter how one sugar-coats it, this is not how you are supposed to do it. You see, it is rather impossible to convince thousands of people to agree on an idea. Breaking it down into simple-to-understand mantras becomes a necessity. And voila; you have just created a cult.

8. You reinforce an echo chamber

An echo chamber is is much like a jerk-circle. It is a metaphorical description of a situation in which ideas are amplified or reinforced by transmission and repetition inside an "enclosed" system, while other ideas outside the system are misrepresented or ignored.

This happend to me. No matter how one tries to promote ideas, once the group gets big enough they will reinforce their own mutual misconceptions, silencing any outside critique. I felt like a mad scientist that had created drones who then became impossible to control.

Followers create narratives because they want to personalise their mission. The tinfoil effect is inevitable since members will reinforce absurd ideas just to make an impact.

9. Same tricks that apply to dating apply to the masses

You know all that “being cool, assertive and confident will get you the partner you want”? Same applies to groupies — most of them are groupies because they don’t have these qualities. Usually the partner that exhibits alpha qualities can dominate the other quite easily (whether male or female).

My grandpa used to say in his crude way “If you lay the floor tiles right, you can step on them for a lifetime”. According to him, this applied both for marriage and leadership. If you demonstrate superiority from the start you can keep imposing yourself later on. I never used this method although my leadership qualities suggested I had. I guess this is why I quit being a leader.

After a while, you feel like you are stealing candy from kids. When I see leaders today engage in the same domination ritual while people enjoy being fucked, a massive disappointment overtakes me. I would rather not engage with any living soul in that way.

10. It’s lonely at the top

I was never actually a people’s person. Maybe that’s why I always found myself in leadership positions. I merely wanted to have control over my life without depending on anyone. This is why I created a freethinking platform for the people of my country. I couldn't stand crowds controlling my life through the political sphere. I wanted to see *individuals* around me, people who could think and act by themselves. The purpose of my organisation is to guide people through the concept of freethought, eventually turning them independent, away from the safe space of the group.

I eventually stepped away, slowly leaving the platform run its own path. I do write some articles here and then but it is mainly to express my own ideas rather than express those of others. I don’t consider myself lonely because I enjoy spending time alone. For those that choose to lead though, loneliness at the top is a one-way road.

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If you ever find yourself in a leadership position, choose wisely. The means do not justify the end — although you will often be tempted to act otherwise.

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