How I Overcame Social Anxiety and How You Can Too!
Hello!
Here's an introduction for those of you who don't know me yet.
I am 20 years old, majoring in Kinesiology at Temple University in Philadelphia.
I am a nationally qualified powerlifter and certified personal trainer.
I have an amazing girlfriend, I have great friends, I can talk to almost anyone and anytime, and even work as a waiter for a drive-in restaurant during the summer. Most importantly I am very optimistic about my future and where my life is headed.
Now wait a minute!
I thought this article was about social anxiety
I'm getting there don't worry!
Rewind 4 years and you have a very different person.
I'm 16 and in high school, I have 2 friends, I'm 110 pounds soaking wet, I can't even think about talking to people I don't know let alone if they're girls, I sweat every time I have to do anything out of my comfort zone, and I'm too scared to even call and order a pizza. I hated my life, and the thought of my future only brought on more anxiety. How was I ever going to learn how to talk to people?
Quite a different picture isn't it
Now how could I possibly have gone from that to where I am today?
The Start of Something Better
My story begins to change in my final semester of high school. I was lucky enough to attend a school retreat called Kairos where you and a group of students basically spend a few days doing activities and sharing almost every detail about yourselves and bonding. The amazing people in my group quite literally changed my life. They showed me that I was awesome in my own way, I didn't need to be like everyone else to be cool. I had my own stuff going for me and I needed to focus on that in order to see how amazing I could really be. Now, this sounds very obvious, but before this point, I could only ever see the terrible parts of myself. I was small, pale, awkward, quiet, and no one knew my name. This all made me feel so worthless that hearing friends actually acknowledge who I was and say that they were happy to know me and have me was actually LIFE CHANGING and I will forever be grateful to these people even though we don't talk anymore, unfortunately.
I was so happy and empowered after this experience I made it my sole mission from this point to destroy my social anxiety and be the person I wanted to be. I began seeking out every way to prove to myself that I was valuable. I saw how much these people proving that to me did, but I didn't want to rely on other people. I needed to show myself that I was valuable and didn't need to fear others opinions.
Step 1
I say this often when I say it and I truly and honestly believe it every time.
Fitness has changed my freaking life!!!!
I was so lucky to be introduced to such a wonderful part of life. Nothing gives me more confidence than seeing myself constantly progress and become a better version of myself than I was the week before. I used to be interested in bodybuilding where seeing your body grow larger and more aesthetic becomes addicting. Now I'm a powerlifter and grow stronger and stronger to move the heaviest weights possible. I have also made it my mission to grow as knowledgeable as possible on all things fitness and health related. I love reading research and debating others on health related topics. It is my wholehearted belief that you can't beat science. But, anyways how does this relate to social anxiety. It was all about seeing the value in myself. Once I saw that this was something I was good at, and I got into pretty good shape it served as a constant reminder of the value I carry as a person.
Here's a transformation of what I used to look like vs. what I look like now.
Then
Now
Step 2
I'm a true believer in constantly learning and growing more knowledgeable. Right now for me, my focus is on educating myself on investing, real estate, cryptocurrency, finance and all things money related. I don't want to lead an average life and am doing my best to learn about many different avenues to financial freedom. Seeing myself grow in this regard has given me so much damn confidence. I know that I'm more knowledgeable than most at my age which sets me up to be successful in the future. Believing I will be successful has been key to me building confidence and respect for myself.
Putting my newfound confidence in action
The only way to truly and fully overcame social anxiety in social situations is to face your fears. My first semester of college I literally forced myself to sit next to girls even though it made me want to throw up, I forced myself to talk to people at parties, I made friends at the gym, It started out very rough but honestly has made my life 1000% better. I met my girlfriend this year, and can honestly say without these experiences and all that I've learned through overcoming this I don't think I'd be lucky enough to have her. She has only made me more confident as a constant reminder that someone values me and loves me. Not gonna make this post too sappy though so I'll leave it there. Main point is once you add value to yourself in your own eyes, use it to force yourself out of your comfort zone because that's where you truly grow.
Summary
If I could give someone one tip on how to overcome social anxiety it would be to improve yourself in every way possible to prove to yourself the value that you bring to the world. Once you know that you are valuable, you will be significantly less concerned about what everyone else thinks about you. I've adopted an I don't give a f$%k mentality because of this, and it lets me enjoy my life a whole hell of a lot more. If you truly don't give a FUCK what anyone thinks then that's when your truly living. Take it from me I used to be scared to tell someone my name, now I say and do what makes me truly happy. It's worth the fear and discomfort believe me it truly is.
More on not Giving a Fuck
Not caring what people think is the end goal of getting over your social anxiety. Just ask yourself why you should care what this person thinks of you. Outside of a potential love interest, boss, or family member 9 times out of 10 there isn't a good reason to care. Don't let other people dictate your life. Think about how absurd it would be if a stranger walked up to you and told you what to wear. You would think it's ridiculous. So why let them indirectly tell you what to wear by worrying what they'll think? It all sounds logical when you put it that way. At the end of the day just you need to prove to yourself that you are your own person and don't need others to live your life for you.
Thank you so much for reading. I put hours into these posts and it's kinda disheartening when no one sees them, but I'm gonna stick with it in case I can help one person like me who needs to hear this. Leave me comment and let me know what you think if you made it this far!!! I love hearing feedback.
Welcome to steemit, Kyle!
Great post my man...and quite the transformational story! Having that confidence and feeling of worth goes SUCH a long way, its crazy. I think your posts and ideas will be super valuable for this community because there are so many talented people who could do so much but might be crippled by anxiety. Good for you on dealing with it head on, and never looking back!
Wish you the best of luck on your journey here!
Thank you very much! Hopefully i can help a few people out who are dealing with similar circumstances.
@kylek717 Hi! Just wanted to say that I found your profile by chance (by a comment you left on that article about the "dangers of salt consumption"), and I am so glad I did! I have really enjoyed reading your articles, they are well researched, witty and useful.
Do not get discouraged about low payouts on articles you invested a lot of time and effort writing, you are just beginning! Steemit is like that, unfortunately: sometimes you see great quality articles getting cents, while a repost of a random meme that the poster just copied from somewhere else gets like $20 or so... but I do believe that if you consistently produce good content, you are setting yourself up for success since once people find it, they will stay and will want more! Sometimes they like it so much they resteem it and then you get more exposure.
You have gained another follower today ;-) Keep up the great work! Looking forward to more of your posts.
Wow, this post really made my day! Thank you so much for your feedback, I can honestly say this post really lit a fire under my butt to just keep getting better. I'm really trying to put myself in a position to have success on here.
Upvoted. I love life hack post. this will be beneficial for me too i often have sudden anxiety.
Glad I could offer you some help my friend!
Hey Kyle! Thanks for opening up and talking about this to the world! Anxiety is such a crippling disease (I say disease because your body is literally in dis-ease) yet some people don't understand it, don't know how to combat it and let it plague their lives :(
I was one of those people myself. I was always really "outgoing" and had lots of friends but I was screaming inside. I was lacking self-confidence because I was so damn anxious all the time and working out changed a lot of that for me as well. I'm happy to see that you're overcoming your challenges and working to better yourself and use that to help others better themselves as well! It's all about spreading the knowledge and teaching people ways they can too, see better days.
Don't get discouraged on here, it's a big ocean and sometimes stuff gets caught in it. One day it'll show up where it needs to, when it's meant to. I have an idea that you'll do just fine on here if you keep on being true to yourself! I wish you the best :)
Comments like this are more rewarding than upvotes:) I'm glad someone else understands what it's like. Hopefully I can spread what knowledge I have and help anyone who needs to hear it!
I think the people that need to hear it will as long as you keep putting it out there! I'm happy to have stopped by!
:)
Thanks for sharing your story. Seems like you've decided to face your fears head on, which can be one of the most effective methods for overcoming your limitations but also takes a lot of courage. So, good on you. Looking forward to seeing more from you.
Thanks for taking the time to read my story, Hopefully my writing will only get better from here!
Welcome.
Thanks!
Wow I agree 100%...now following
Powerful stuff. Thanks for sharing this. Someone I know was close to a burnout and totally overwhelmed due to personal and work stress. The one thing that changed his life around: sport.
Not powerlifting though, but even moderate sport can have a huge influence. Biking, running, the gym.
So I can't agree to this any more.
Thanks for reading! Glad you agree, sports are underappreciated in my opinion as an outlet for stress.
Glad to see you @Kylek717 I hope you enjoy your time here, its a great community :) Nice post, i will follow your account, please follow me ...
Thanks mekong!
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