My personal reflection

in life •  2 years ago  (edited)

I haven't posted much lately. And the thing is that several people on Steemit noticed, and there are also people that asked me why. People asking for me is flattering and makes me smile.

This post is going to be slightly different from what I usually post. It will contain a lot of thinking. And it will be more like a diary than a blog post. Maybe the reason is that Steemit and the community I meet on Discord are personal and feels close to me.

One thing is going to be like it usually is in my posts... I will use some of my seascape photos. There are some fantastic people here on Steemit that likes them, which makes me happy!

Some of my thinking is rather deep, like "who am I", "why am I here" and also "what is my purpose". I haven't got many answers, but I will share my thoughts about these issues.

The meaning of water in my life

This morning I had a short, but fun, time on PALnet Discord channel and we discussed zodiac signs. I never really thought much about this, but my sign is Cancer, which is a water sign. I love water; I can sit and stare at sea for hours. I can sit, just listening to the sound. It's amazing. Also, I have been thinking about the fact that humans persist of 60 % water. I sometimes feel that I'm united with the sea.

Source: @kerlund74

Finding the gift I have to offer to the world

For many years I have had a feeling that I'm doing a lot of things in my life that I'm not meant to do. I suffer a lot from anxiety. I have read a lot of books about "our true self", "finding your gift" and other self-improvement literature.
Most of the time these books makes me feel secure and confident while reading them. Afterwards, I feel like "damn, I have no idea what my real self is and I certainly can't find my gift".
Last year I was taking a course in entrepreneurship. It was about (very short) to use who I am, what I know and also who I know to get started. And I can see a correlation to the books about personal development here. Because I'm the only person on this planet, that are like me. My sets of skills combined with my personality are unique. A business idea that I execute will probably be different from yours even if you have almost the same purpose.

Source: @kerlund74

But after the course ended I sort of got back to my ordinary me that doesn't feel very confident in me. But I think I have planted a seed during these years. From time to time I get moments of clarity. Like this morning when I was standing outside for 30 minutes, waiting for my colleague to pick me up. I just thought: my gift is understanding other people. Combined with them using IT, which might sound strange but I'm a person that gets exhausted among people, I try to read them. What do they feel? What do they say? And the IT: I study Interaction design and I just love the idea of beginning with the users. What are their actual needs? How do they think about the tech? What can I do to help? And so on. As a highly sensitive person, I often feel drained after spending a day with lots of people. But I believe that it's possible to use the advantages of being very sensitive. There are downsides, of course, but why focus on these?
My reflexion is that this is an excellent trait if I work with mapping users needs or User Experiences. At least this is what I felt this morning, lol. We will see what is coming out of this.

Source: @kerlund74

I have been searching for many years now. Initially, I worked hard to get my photos seen by many people. I spent hours, every evening after work on Flickr, Instagram, and my Wordpress blog. I was getting a lot of attention, but time wasn't ready at that point, and I wasn't ready. I love photography, and I actually will show some of my photos on an exhibition this summer, I'm very excited!
I have also changed jobs two times in four years. And then I began my studies in 2015. I love most of the courses, but I always felt a little more for the books about human-computer interaction, creativity and empathy and also about User Experience.

I usually like to be a bit structured when I do things, like writing a blog post. This time I think that it doesn't matter. First: I have been thinking a lot lately. Second: People are asking for my photos! Third: I think that I have some meaningful ideas to share:)

Thanks for reading!

Source: @kerlund74


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Resteemed by the MAP-AAKOM community and upvoted by @rycharde.

I could sit for hours (and hours and hours) by water. Mountain lakes, ocean, a creek, whatever. Water is amazing. Beautiful photos, and some interesting thoughts. I hear you on the anxiety thing, and the wavering confidence as well, but what you're sharing is worthwhile. Keep being you. You're wonderful!

Thank you! You are an amazing person as well! Filled with kindness and with a great spirit:)

Water yes, it's just amazing...

You do have a lot of creativity in you. Let it shine. I love your photography. And the simplicity of your writing. I have looked at sensitivity in positive light, you feel things deeply. And depth is all that matters. Keep writing. Keep clicking. Keep thinking. :)

Thank vey much for a very wonderful comment :-)

You're welcome. :)

Lovely post, I like that it’s personal--I think one of the powers of this platform is getting that behind-the-scenes glimpse into an artists life and challenges as well as successes. :)

Yes, Steemit is amazing in this way:)
Thank you very much!

Such beautiful imagery. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks to you!

What a wise woman, seriously. To take the time for inner reflection in this hurry-up world.

I love some of your very profound thinking and I am in love with all of your water shots, each one lovelier than the other.

I am partial to the one with all the green stones. Glad to see you back again!

oh my goodness, I had to chuckle with your accurate descriptions of so many helpful classes and books yet returning to your regular life after wards. I can relate.

I thought while reading this that you take GORGEOUS photos and that your contemplations, poems, comments and interactions give such a great outlet for expressing your sensitive perception of nature, of people, of life. You have a gentle, rich and nurturing way of being that I have really appreciated. Maybe Steemit gives you a way to live and earn that works for you?

LOL, but you know what? I think that for every book, film or article we get a tiny bit wiser... It's just to little to notice at first. After a while it builds up and then we get some great ideas and makes some improvements. Then it starts all over again :D

It's amazing, I find that I really belong here. So many people like you really touches me, in my real life where I live, just a few does... This is a great thing with technology that creates new opportunities for people to meet. I love it. Thank you so much for your wonderful input my creative friend :-)

You are right, all of the self-help DOES help a little at a time.

I know what you mean about belonging here....I feel the same way, like I've finally found my place and it's such a combination of different things in steemit and in me that makes it the right fit.

I agree, this IS the great thing about technology and I would never have imagined something rich and wonderful opening up in my life because of the new technological access. And I'm so glad to meet friends like you!

Lots of wisdom here, my friend! Life is so interesting when you stop to think deeply about the reasons for it all!

Yes it's easier to feel and go with the flow. Letting life just happen to us:)
But I guess overthinking is an issue to many of us :D

i really loved this. I love water too, but more looking. lakes and waterfalls to ocean. but yes the serenity, colors, emotion. I can commune also with fire or land. please keep writing and taking photos

Thank you very much my friend <3
Yes all things in nature is fascinating: earth, wind, fire, water. All wonderful creations:-)

I also like sitting the near of sea and listening the sound of waves. I dont imagine a life without sea.

I doesn't either. I just love the sea :-)

I like this post, and it's nice you wrote it like a diary , by the way obviosely we noticed you are writing less, your pics are very cool, we can not miss them! I like wheen you said you planted a seed it's a good point and i feel as i did the same in my life lately..

Yes, I think it's important to actually notice those seeds, else life can feel a bit meaningless from time to time. The small improvements and changes are so important for us and I guess the trick is to notice them:)
Thanks very much!

my friend, you are tired of yourself and your mind by thinking too much.
thoughts are very beautiful, but too much to examine and question, it wears off. I understand you as I am like you.
It's great to see you and your work. Get away from too much silence.
I love you

Well overthinking is easy. Harder to find answers.
Great advice to get away and meet people I guess you know what you are talking about. Thanks a lot dear❤️

I upvoted when posted but I just read... So... the more I know you, the more similar I see we are...
Especially that: ''Most of the time these books makes me feel secure and confident while reading them. Afterwards, I feel like "damn, I have no idea what my real self is and I certainly can't find my gift". '' - the story of my life... and the general 'being lost' feeling often...
Also, sign talk, they say that after 30 the ascendent counts more so that's Scorpio for me -hence water makes sense...
I love your photos because I love water all its different forms...
Of course I'm Greek, how could I not???
As I'm used to say 'water helps me think'...You know, sea, pool, even bathtub or even just shower, it helps me think... Sometimes though, my thoughts don't get me anywhere...Hugs deary :*

Thank you :) Yes it's something special with water... But well thinking isn't always helping us much. From time to time there is some useful thoughts, that helps us grow or at least helps to move in some direction. I guess overthinking isn't to good, but I still believe that some reflection over life is good.

Overthinking is never good - even though I do engage to overthinking sessions with myself, repeatedly and constantly...but eventually that thing drains you.
Reflections over life though, YES - they're always good and we should certainly do that often to know what's what ;) Hugs back at you!

Great post. Strong reflections and delightful photos. It seems to me that photography is one of your vocations. Keep doing it, your photos are beautiful.

Thanks very much, so glad to hear this:-) I have had some lack of inspiration and motivation for photography lately, but it will come back :D