A Rant about a Germ Obsessed Parent and Outdoor Play

  Yesterday I met a couple of my friends and as usual, while grabbing a bite and having a drink, we got to talk about work, family and all sorts of funny  stuff. Here comes the story.  

One of my friends, let's call her D, has recently got married. She has two kids from her first marriage, her new husband has a daughter from his first marriage. 

The daughter lives with her mom and only comes to stay with my friend's family during weekends and holidays (custody stuff, I'm not familiar with the details and anyway, it's irrelevant to this post). 

The girl is 8 years old; I've met her - she's a shy, polite little girl. Her mother works in pharmaceuticals - and, although I've never met the person, I strongly believe she has a certain kind of mental damage from working there.  

  The woman must be obsessed about germs, bacteria and dirt, because she never allows her daughter to play outdoors like other children, for fear of her getting ill. The girl gets pills for any injury - as minor as may be the case.  

Can you imagine she's afraid - at 8 years old - to use the playground slide, because her mother has told her it's dangerous?! My friends, D and her husband, do the best they can to help her conquer all sorts of fears that her mother methodically plants in her head. It's a slow process, because she never spends too much time with her dad's new family. D's kids and the girl get along quite well, and that's a huge help for her. But then she goes back to her mother's place and the nightmare begins again. 

I was sad to hear that the girl has begun to consciously  lie to her mother because she has learnt that if she tells the truth - nothing out of the ordinary - just that she plays with other children in the park and she gets dirty, touches a pet, plays with dirt, or makes mud cakes - then she has to go home and listen to her mother's angry homilies.  

My own daughter, aged 9, has played in all sorts of safe environments from as long as we can remember. We go out to explore the nature whenever we can  - and I have to say her playfulness and creativity has help me remember how to feel alive and happy. 

During summer holidays, she spends time with her grandparents, in the countryside. She feeds my mother's poultry, plays with the dog, wets the plants, plays with dirt, pebbles and whatever she finds interesting. She digs holes in my mother's garden. 

At home we have a dog, we go out to walk him every day and they play together. And after the evening shower - and paws wash - they even fall asleep together (after a while, Theo - the dog - goes to his pillow, because my girl's an active sleeper - she turns and tosses a lot).  

Other than the occasional cold, in the spring and in the autumn, my daughter is perfectly healthy. She is also a happy child, a creative one. She is quite self confident and courageous. She likes trying new things. She's fine playing with two sticks or swinging on a tire.  

This is how children grow healthy and develop a strong immune system. This is how they stay connected to nature, even when they live in towns or cities. 

My question is: how can one expect a person to live under a glass dome and be happy? What's this world coming to? 

Would it be up to me, I'd get the father full custody of the girl and I'd have the mother get therapy. She sees illnesses everywhere. I believe this happens because of her job - pharmaceutical companies make it a mission to have people believe we're in constant danger of expiring from this germ or that bacteria. I thought everybody knew this is marketing - they do what they have to in order to increase their profits. Parents, however, should know better...

   

Outdoor play strengthens the immune system; it helps the body grow strong and fit. It encourages imagination and creativity. Children learn to find solutions - they have to be resourceful to be able to fix whatever situations may arise while they play - in groups or by themselves. 

Not to mention that burning some energy while playing outside helps the kids focus better in class.  

It's common sense. Nobody thrives in glass bubbles, protected from everything. 

Let the kids explore the world - this is their job; our responsibility, as parents, is to make sure they do it safely so that they grow healthy and strong. And happy, of course.