It could be that you boyfriend is experiencing major depression. To start with, major depression is not the same as 'my roommate kicked me out, the cat was run over, I failed a midterm and lost my left contact lens all in one day' depression. That is common depression. It usually has an identifiable cause or trigger and is self limiting in duration. Major depression is debilitating, in part, because there IS no 'cause' and the activities that are helpful with common depression, such as getting out more, exercise and setting simple goals, simply do not work. There are treatments and some even work.

The most unfortunate thing is that both major depression and common depression share the same name, depression, and exhibit some similar symptoms. Consequently almost everybody think they know what it is. Generally they do not. If major depression had a different name, say Rolstrom Syndrome or some-such, I suspect that people would tend to be less dismissive or judgmental.

So now what. If you were to investigate the subject, a recurring theme for the partner of the sufferer is to understand that you are entitled to take care of yourself first. Without doing that, you can be of little help to your partner. That may include going your separate ways. Oddly, if that is the best choice for you, it is likely that, in the long run, it may be best for him too. (That is getting into the whole co-dependency thing.)

Similarly, if he has other desirable attributes, then accepting him as he is can still provide a wonderful life. Many couples are happy despite the fact that one of them has a serious disability. It is more challenging with depression because the disease is invisible and the two of you experience the judgmental behaviors of others.

Loving somebody for what you hope that will be, rather than for what they are, is a well traveled path to being miserable – for both of you.