I too have experienced these, so I have complete empathy - the worst one was at a grocery store several years ago, when I ended up hiding under the cashier's counter crying my eyes out; that was also the most embarrassing one and I don't know how I got there. Thankfully it's been a long time since I've had a major attack, and I've learned how to ward most of them off before they get to that point. I also wasn't able to handle the side effect of the meds. For me, learning to meditate to control my breathing helped a lot - as is connecting in some way with nature, especially being around water. It's harder now with my disabilities to go for walks, especially in the winter ... but I do so whenever I'm physically able. Please know you're never alone. So many of us know your struggles with anxiety and depression - and I'm rooting for you as well. Always keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.