GRATITUDE saved my life

in life •  2 years ago  (edited)

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Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend - Melody Beattie

I can remember the morning that my life and my perspective on absolutely EVERYTHING changed forever! I literally opened my eyes that day and everything made sense to me. I no longer just understood the words of the things I had read or seen - I suddenly FELT them!


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When my son was two months old, his father walked out on the two of us as well as our marriage of eight years. It was an exceptionally difficult time in my life. To give you a little background, it was an abusive marriage – physically and emotionally and despite the fact that I knew this, I saw no way out.

Anybody who sees me today would not believe that I am the same person I was seven years ago. I had been broken down mentally and emotionally to such an extent that I no longer even felt like myself. There was absolutely NOTHING left of “ME”.

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I was so emotionally “weak”, that I used to CREATE arguments with my “then” husband, taking the wrath that came along with them, in the desperate hopes that he would eventually get fed up and leave, giving me a way out of that utterly toxic marriage.

Well, it worked. He eventually ended up having an affair during my pregnancy and then moved out.


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As much as I knew in my soul, that this was definitely the best thing for both my son and I – I could not see it at that point. I simply couldn’t breathe. Now that he was gone, along with all his anger, bitterness, jealousy and abusiveness, I didn’t know what to do with myself.

I was lost! – Hopeless to the core.

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I no longer knew who I was by myself and it felt like I was being suffocated by my complete state of despair. I did not know how I was going to carry on living. There are actually no words adequate enough to describe how desperately DEAD I felt at that point in my life.

Through the course of it all, and just prior to our divorce, I had stumbled across a book called “The Power of Intention” by Dr. Wayne W Dyer. I had read it several times and had also made a copy of it, so that I could take notes. I used to start every single morning by putting on the DVD “The Secret” and would listen to it whilst getting ready for work. I understood the concepts. It made sense. It was logical, practical and I thought I “got it”.

I didn’t.


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You know what they say… when you hit rock bottom, the only way is UP. Well, it took me being at rock bottom to completely grasp this.

The morning it changed, was different because I opened my eyes and the first thought that crossed my mind was “You have NO right to have so much POWER over my life and my emotional state of being.”

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(I just had to share that quote... it is from one of my all time favourite movies... "The Labyrinth" - and well, it is just so fitting!)

In that one fleeting moment my world changed. It felt as though the rock on my chest had been lifted off. I got out of bed, and actually made an effort to look good – and that FELT good! I went to work and opened up my shop and started to face all the things I had been sweeping under the rug, since I had simply not felt emotionally equipped to deal with them.

Stepping back onto that horse was particularly challenging, but I walked in and I did it. Everything was in such a mess, but I took a breath and started – one thing at a time.

As the days passed, the chaos on the business front started to diminish, people started to compliment me, telling me that I was looking good and I – started to feel good.

I could breathe again.

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I had enormous support from family and friends, near and far. They all played a pivotal role in that part of my journey.

This particular track was a saving grace given to me by @fionasfavourites at the time. Amazingly enough, I always hated this song... I don't anymore. It became my every morning mantra...

They offered me their words of support and motivation, songs to get me going, they embraced me and welcomed me into their circles and slowly but surely my life started to change.


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What I mentioned in the beginning of this post that I did not TRULY grasp – was FEELING GRATITUDE to my core. In that one moment, I realised that no person has the right to destroy another’s soul to the point where they no longer see any value in themselves. We ALL have a purpose here on this earth and we are all EQUALLY important.

In that second, I understood gratitude. I was grateful for that realisation, so, so grateful! It was as if my soul saw me lying on the floor and gently came and picked me up, embracing me, telling me “you can shine now.”

Everything I looked at was different after that.

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Image Credit: https://quotefancy.com

My little boy - that I was almost resentful towards because of what had transpired and the mess that I was left to handle when I was least equipped to do so, suddenly became the blessing he always was.

My business – that I had built, was still mine. That too, was a blessing – I very nearly gave it up because I simply felt like I could not cope with it.

After that, I started to remember how to smile, laugh and I looked at EVERYTHING around me with a lot more attention. I gave everybody as much love as I could and gave them whatever I could in terms of my attention, advice, time or presence.


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I crossed so far over that bridge that it actually got to a point where my ex-husband was coming to talk to me about the troubles he was having in his new marriage. Everybody who knew about this looked at me like I was crazy – “why would you help him” they would ask me.

Why wouldn’t I?

Every single circumstance in every single person’s life has shaped them into the character they are currently. They too, have suffered. They too, are damaged. I am not perfect, so I am in absolutely NO position to judge them and yes, he broke me, more so than anybody else in my life, but he was genuinely sorry and will regret his choices for the rest of his life – but that is his journey. And the reality is, I had forgiven him – because I NEEDED to do that in order for ME to be able to move on with my life.

Anger and bitterness is only useful to a point. Then you need to let go of it or channel it at something more constructive.


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I will never look at life the same again. I am grateful for absolutely everything that comes my way now - The good, the bad and the ugly. I have accepted that I am “imperfectly perfect” – and so is everybody else. There is a wonderfully liberating state of being that comes with this realisation.

When you wake up tomorrow, try to appreciate the details of your life – even the frustrating ones. Be simply thankful for the fact that you woke up in the first place – no matter what you have to face in your day ahead, or how much your kids or colleagues might annoy you.

Look for the good in EVERYTHING! Stop looking at the bad! If your spouse is irritating you, shift your focus off that and think about something that you love about them. If your kids are frustrating you, stop, breathe and remember that you too were young once with the same level of uninhibited energy and spirit.

Life in itself is a blessing and it is a journey that should not be squandered.


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No matter where you stand right now, you can seek out the positive and be thankful for those fragments, no matter how small.
Finding the true MEANING, FEELING and EXPERIENCE of gratitude - saved my life.

It will do the same for you if you give it the chance to…


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Until next time...

Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx

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Jaynie, Great post. I was celebrating our wedding on Saturday. My number one feeling to start the day was gratitude that Angie is in my life. Given the up and downs of raising 5 daughers, the spirit of gratitude has helped me be greatful for our wonderful lives. Each morning I actually do a sort thank you as I brush my teeth. Puts me in a great frame of mind for the rest of the day. Following, upvoted and resteemed

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Firstly - congratulations on your marriage!!! Thank you for the support as well as for the lovely feedback @traderdad - you are so very right, it absolutely does set the mood for the day ahead!! It is a wonderful way to approach life!

That was very powerful. Thank you for sharing your story! I can't even imagine how tough that must have been, being totally alone with a new baby. But how inspiring it is, that you've turned it all around, hats off to you!!

For me, this year has been tough.. Gratitude has been one of the only things that always helps to lift my spirits and put my mind and spirit at ease, but it is definitely something I know I should be practising a lotttt more often!

Looking forward to your future posts. All the best :)

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Thank you for the beautiful feedback @redrica - yes, it amazing to look back and gain a little perspective as to how far you have come. lol

I am sorry to hear about your year passed, BUT - am VERY glad to hear that you have the right attitude about it. So my dear... hats off to you too...

Keep doing that!!!

xxx

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Agreed. Very powerful.

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thank you xxx

great post @jaynie <3 powerfull

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thank you angel xxx

Man that was a hard read...I commend you for surviving and finding strength in your son.

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Thank you @alao - that means a lot to me. and yes, he is my EVERY strength these days. The TRUE epitome of unconditional love. I am so glad that I never missed out on it.

This is a great post! I am glad that he left and that you could stand on your own two feet.

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me too @giantbear... me too xxx

Yes, we need to develop an attitude of gratitude! ;)
Easier said than done sometimes but we can but try! :)

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and try... and try... and try... and SUCCEED! xxx

  ·  2 years ago (edited)

O I can so relate to this post - went through almost the same situation with 'The spermdoner' as we call him - but what a wonderful realization that we could stand up and are so much better off with them gone . Being grateful comes in some misterious ways, and sometimes takes us some time to realize why we need to be grateful, Great post once again.

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hahahaha @anneke - that is precisely how we (not Jude, but my partner and I) refer to him too... lol

Yes, you are very right. Time is a great healer!

Thank you for your always valid input xxx

Cher! Wow, had a big crush on her growing up lol. The secret...they don't give you the full Monty, excellent book, but incomplete. As for sharing your life in part, that took balls. You have big alpha male gorilla balls. Great post sweets!

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hahahaha..... ok ;) and yes, well said - it is incomplete - but that was the movie. I have never read the book. However, the other book mentioned, "The Power of intention" - is anything but incomplete. Read it! :) and thank you. I shall take that as an enormous compliment. xxx

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Duly earned doll, and I will definitely check out that book hey!

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👌🤗 xxx

Good post, thanks for sharing your story with the whole community.
Always focus, be consistent and hold on to life.
"You are great and life demands your greatness!"
Mac Kroupensky

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What an amazing quote. Thank you flr the lovely response. Really appreciate that 🤗

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Of nothing.

That was a very long read and I agree if you hit rock bottom it will be upwards from that point. Glad that you were about to pick yourself up and smile again.

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thank you. Hope it wasn't long and boring though... lol ;)

Beautiful post I love this!

"I crossed so far over that bridge that it actually got to a point where my ex-husband was coming to talk to me about the troubles he was having in his new marriage."

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Thank you @jerrybanfield - appreciate the positive input.... and yes... that was probably the most internally rewarding part of it for me too ;)

This is beautiful, upvoted and resteemed. For me, experiencing infertility saved my life, the joureny was hard and emotional, but it taught me SO manu things...gratitude too! All the best and much love, @sweetpea

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That is so beautiful and thank you for sharing it with me xxx I am SO glad that what I wrote resonated with you. Much love xxx

Gratitude is such a powerful thing! You are very brave and strong. :)

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It is!!!! I wish more people saw this! - Thank you xxx

Life is always better with that kind of perspective, @jaynie, and mothers are the best, and life is beautiful, and gratitude is a foundation for success.

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So, very true! Thank you for your lovely feedback xxx

Great article. I truly believe that gratitude is one of the best ways to manifest more of what we want out of life and that it is one of the highest vibrations. Thank you for sharing.

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Absolutely!!! Thank you for the lovely feedback xxx

...nom...

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om nom :)

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nom nom nom?

should a big tough challenge face my way, i would like to be reminded of the totality if ur experience and be assured of my being. Thanks for ur story @jaynie

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and thank you!!!

thanks for sharing your story, you've been very strong! more power to you...


This gem of a post was discovered by the OCD Team!

Reply to this comment if you accept, and are willing to let us promote your gem of a post! By accepting this, you have a chance to receive extra rewards and one of your photos in this article will be used on our compilation post!

You can follow @ocd – learn more about the project and see other Gems! We strive for transparency.


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wow! @jznsamuel - what an honour! Thank you!!! I absolutely accept, and thank you again - it means the world to me! Heading over to @ocd now to follow :)

Much love to you!!!!

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Hi :) Just checking if you got my previous reply...

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Hey @jaynie, yes I did. I'll be submitting your post for nomination tomorrow, and if it gets selected we'll be featuring it in the @ocd comp :)

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cool beans :) Thanks for letting me know... much appreciated x :)

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congratulations, your post was selected to be featured in ocd daily 30. I'll be featuring you in my weekly ocd wrapup#5 too... keep up the good work!

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woooohooooo!!! Thats SO AWESOME @jznsamuel!!! Thank you so much!!! Means the world to me!

And yes... continiously working hard here... LOVE this platform, really. its an awesome place and space...

This was yesterdays contribution... if you care to take a peek..

https://steemit.com/life/@jaynie/unapologetically-me

Thanks again for the support! xxx

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your post is no longer undervalued, and that is what we at @ocd want to happen, to get great author's the attention & love they deserve.
Keep up the good work, and will definitely keep an eye on your future posts! :) best wishes...

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Such a blessing!!! I have no words fit to describe how very thankful I am for the recognition and for what you are doing. You guys rock! Keep ROCKING!! xxx

This post received a 4.1% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @jaynie! For more information, click here!

Wow, Jaynie! I can only imagine what you went through. It is wonderful how you tapped into deep inner resources at that time.

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Thank you @judyroberts xxx

This was extremely well written! I love your content Queen! <3

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MWAH!!! thank you xxx

What a wonderful and beautiful kid you have

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indeed :) and thank you!

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Welcome