AUTHENTIC HONESTY to the CORE...
“Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.” ― Franz Kafka
Being a frank and authentic individual is not always the easiest thing in the world... My inability to filter certain thoughts and/or opinions has often gotten me into trouble over the years as well as in the middle of some rather heated discussions and situations hahaha!
I definitely don’t do this with the intention of creating tension or being offensive to anyone – the fact of the matter is that I am just blatantly candid, have a very low tolerance for pretentious people and have absolutely no time for plastic pleasantries”. I am a great believer in “saying it like it is” - whether the information suits the recipient or not… and this most often doesn’t go down very well, earning me labels like “stuck up” or “B*tchy”. Which really isn’t true – I am actually a very nice person, I promise. Hehehe ;) (Stick around, I will prove it)
You see the thing about truth and honesty is that most of the time people don’t actually like it, nor do they want to hear it. They will often say they do, but the truth of the matter is, they like the concept of honesty and that is pretty much where it ends. Everybody LOVES honest people until they are on the receiving end of that knowledge.
Authentically honest people are often VERY quickly labelled as “loud mouths” or are perhaps referred to as people with “no filter”. In my case, I would say that I definitely do have a filter for certain things and this has improved somewhat with age and what I would like to believe is maturity – but I am still very cutthroat when it comes to delivering information to those that I care about. I just simply don’t sugar coat sh1t! If someone has a booger in their nose, or spinach between their teeth you can be damn sure I will be the person that tells them about it instead of letting them walk around with it all day lol!
I enjoy brutally authentic people! We are real – and at worst, worth a good giggle when certain “inapt, unfiltered” truths are divulged – as for the rest of the time, at least you know where you really stand with us and you are bound to get some very useful understandings – if you open your mind to them.
To be quite frank (see what I did there hehehe) I would much rather live with the labels, the stares of horror and the raised eyebrows, because I know that I am true to myself and real to others – at least for a greater part of the time hahaha. I stand strong in the benefits of this character quality. Existing as a truly honest individual sets you apart simply because you hold a completely unique perspective on life, people and circumstance. You view things from a totally different angle and you develop an ability to “cut through the crap” seeing (and voicing) things as they REALLY are – which in turn gives you the ability to problem solve VERY efficiently.
Irrespective of the fact that the advice, information or opinions offered by blunt individuals is not always very delicately conveyed or warmly received, I can assure you that it is almost always shared with the best of intentions. Sometimes it takes a little while for the person receiving the information to process and accept it, but 99% of the time, once they have – they realise that the ruthless delivery was done with the purpose of enabling growth... and because your care for them is completely genuine.
If you ask me, the worst kind of “dishonesty” and perhaps the most common, is the lies which people tell themselves - Especially when it comes to “self-talk”. People do this so frequently that they often start to believe the internal justifications – deluding themselves into many potentially negative positions. This is a LOT more common than people realise and is PRECISELY when it is beneficial for a blatantly honest person to step in and wake them up... OR for them to start being honest with themselves - by themselves! Quite frankly, I think the world could do with a few more truly honest people – then perhaps others would start removing their rose tinted glasses and stop living in complete avoidance of truth.
In summation - Honesty builds respect and trust. People will learn that they can always rely on you to have their best interests at heart. When you live in constant denial of “truth”, you create what is referred to as “emotional garbage” – being consistently honest allows you to get rid of that garbage and live more “freely”.
Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
I have made a few frenemies due to my "no filter", I have been labeled a few words like unapproachable, too serious, no nonsense, and I am sure a b**ch behind my back. But one thing I really cannot tolerate is being in between. I remember one time i lied to a lady that I was a student so I could get a discount, it ate me inside out, I had to go back and tell the truth.
And THAT @mutitum is because YOU are an authentic individual and being anything other than honest, simply goes against your grain! Do not EVER change!!! You are amazing!!! xxx
this post seemed incredible to me congratulations
You are amazing too. And I ain't changing, I love this me too much.
"In summation - Honesty builds respect and trust." Very true! People can smell when someone is being fake.
I think that almost all of this article resonates with me. Authenticity is powerful, but man... It can make you feel so vulnerable. I think that's where I struggle. I have one post I wrote for Steemit that I haven't let see the light of day yet. It's honest, but I struggle to be that vulnerable. I'm slowly learning though.
I suppose in many respects, honesty within and without is a process @chrismccron so we each need to cross that/those bridges in our own good time. ;)
Great post! I'm not sure that I am every "brutally" authentic, but I would say I am "passionately" authentic. And you're quite right, sometimes that's rewarded with skepticism and even dislike. A lot of people in this world of ours prefer their truth sugar coated to such a degree you can't even tell what's there.
For me, compassion is very important, too. I'm not here to "rip someone a new one" just because I can. On the other hand, I'm also not willing to protect anyone from themselves... something I have become better at, as I have aged. Apparently that makes me "stuck up" and "self-important." Oh well...
I think you can be honest without the brutality. There is almost always a kinder way to present a truth. Now some people will be offended by your honesty regardless of how well stated it is. There is no hope for them, honestly.
yip, as I said in response to @denmarkguy every situation is unique.
Compassion is VERY important, yes....
I suppose in many ways... that "passion" is often perceived as brutality by the receiver... not to say it was intended that way. However, on the same hand... some people really need a slightly more "intense" approach - especially when it comes to changing patterns or solving a problem... sometimes a "slap through the face" is exactly what will change their lives/situation for the better.... but ALL of this is within reason and each situation is unique.
Thank for the lovely comment as usual... I like the way you think!
"Honesty" and "Originality" is diminishing because we made this world like an mechanical race where everything is monetized means every actions are measured with the monetary values. So nowadays we are living the life of pretenders because if you want respect from others then we have to behave or live our life according to them. But everyone forgotten that our life is simple, means simple needs and great life, in the name of development we losing our organic way of living. Nowadays every country wants to be powerful, but only some wants be beautiful. Amazing thing is, we are thinking as we have freedom, but real meaning of freedom is lot more different from what we have now. Freedom means, freedom of thoughts and ideas, freedom of choice regarding what to do and how to do, limiltless space for actions and right to live a simple and decent life but the bitter truth is, so many people all over the world striving for the basic needs. Your post encourged me to share my true feelings. Thanks for sharing the great post.
Have a great day and stay blessed.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts @chireerocks xxx
Welcome.
Powerful stuff! I wonder where you get all this energy from, it's rather contagious!
What a lovely thing to say! Thank you - and hmmmm I am not entirely sure where it all comes from lol
Oh no, cant we bend the truth just a little? just kidding! I agree with you honesty is always the best policy, both with others and ourselves. What all need to learn though is the subtle art of expressing those truths without being too harsh and hurtful, and that can be done simply by choosing our words carefully. Very nice article as always @jaynie. BTW I am sure you know the definition of diplomacy - "Telling someone to go and "jump in the lake' in such a way that they will look forward to the trip!
hahahahaha @claudiaz
used DAILY I tell you :P
so you are an expert at it already, hahahaha
Easier to deal with than a murder rap! lol ;)
I can agree with this 100%, people dont like to hear something that would otherwise destroy their version of the truth .
Let alone change their own perspective or put themselves in someone else's shoes .
This is getting resteemed !
Very aptly put! Thanks for the comment as well as the support.... it is always greatly appreciated :)
Be careful because shutting up your mouth is much better than being brutally honest in certain circumstances. For eg:- If a lie could save a life.
whatevaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar banana boy lol :P
Seriously you'll banana me for that one day 😂😂.
People who do not allow themselves to be vulnerable prevent themselves from being authentic, and without authenticity, it is hard to be creative. Creativity, by definition, requires vulnerability, because when we are creative we bring ourselves fully to what we do. If I am a psychologist, for example, I am preoccupied with looking good, professional, wise, and with the impression, I make on the patient, I can not really be attentive to his feelings. I cannot be empathic, and my thinking will probably be limited and will not allow me to be flexible and creative. I will concentrate mainly without screwing up.
Beautifully accurate words!
Have you seen the "Doc Martin" series? The Doc is an extreme case of someone who not only cannot lie but has no filter. If asked, he will answer, and his answer will be the truth. Sometimes he doesn't need to be asked. He is not popular, but his mission is not to be popular but to be the best doctor he can be.
You could do worse than be accused of being brutally honest and/or to have no filter. You are you. That is all.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
I actually havent seen it, I think I shall go seek it out. And yes, brilliantly put ;)