Why Have Our Family and Friends Disappeared?
It Has Been Almost Six Years Since I Last Bowed Graciously to a Master for a Paycheck and Left My Old Life.
I really disliked my old lifestyle of waiting for my paycheck only to find out the Uncle Sam and the great State of NY took half. When I quit my old life and moved to Panama I was in a foreign land, no paycheck, no family support and only a handful of people to learn from who I literally just met.
Within months I was living in a beautiful condo in Panama City, Panama. Sometimes I literally had to pinch myself because I could not believe this was my new reality. For the first time in my life I was living on my own terms! Sure business was not easy. We had our ups and downs but we persevered.
From the time I left until now @AnaHilarski and I have discussed at length why our friends and my family have largely not supported us. My family and friends have literally disappeared from my life. I can count on one hand the amount that still engage with me on social media. Anabell is in the same boat.
Is our life so foreign that they feel intimidated? Is my anti government rhetoric too much for them? Sure my friends now tend to be expats who left for some of the many reasons I left. If they feel ostracized by me I apologize.
I admit that I miss my family and friends. We had so many good times. In the end I have to accept it but I wanted to put my thoughts down on my Steemit blog. Maybe someday some of those family and friends will read this and realize that I may have left my old life but I did not mean to leave them.
Ana and I have been adopted by some amazing people who have accepted us into their pack. One of the packs is our beloved Steemit community. You guys rock! Where else would I be able to poor out my heart like this? I sure would not do it on Facebook! I want to thank all of you for listening to my bull shit. I know I can be harsh at times but I really do mean the best and want everyone to be successful and feel loved.
If You Have Not Seen My Interview with @DollarVigilante Here it is.
Thanks for this heartfelt post! I think a lot of people disappear when they see someone they know do what they secretly want, but fear to do. And then, of course, "anarchist" is a really scary word to most people... who have no idea what it actually means... but in their ignorance toss it into the same barrel as "terrorism" and "communist" and things like that.
Although we like to give lip service to the bond of "blood," often our closest family is the one we choose, not the one we are born with. Whereas I did nothing near as brave as what you did, I was still regarded as "weird" by much of my family when I left Denmark at age 20 to go live in the USA. Many of them also thought it was "weird" that I was independent and working for myself, rather than working in a "good job."
I understand the missing them part, but take joy in having found a different "tribe" that gets who you are. All the best to both of you, and congrats on "living the dream!"
I try my best to tone my rhetoric down enough to make it palatable but it is such a foreign concept to most.
Did you notice the comments? People are making more on these comments than on most posts!
Yeah-- I tend to "rephrase" what I do in everyday terms and highlight some of the freedoms I enjoy as gentle reminders and encouragement that I am not "off the deep end" somewhere. It's tricky because a lot of my old family are basically Luddites... for whom even "using email" (and quite recently!) was a huge leap into the unknown.
Yes, comments often pay well... a strong case for engaging and interacting.
Hello and please excuse my comments if they err. Humans are social animals we congregate and work toward a common goal, that of survival and betterment. When one goes "off the rails" the main groupings do not understand this. They see it as contrary to the collective consciousness.
Now add in in this busy life within modern society most people do not even have enough time for sleep, plus they feel all the intrusions into their personal spaces. Thus they build walls of social isolation and this just further withdrawals them from forming necessary interconnected social bonding's...
It is not nice to say but the majority as clueless economic slave sheep and happy in their ignorance. Personally I prefer to try and work with those who are trying to gain ground in this new world rather than the clueless who are clueless that any problems even exist.
The old saying from last millennium you can choose your friends but not your family was another old age lie like employer loyalty etc. With kids divorcing their parents their is no need for family units anymore, welcome to chaos unless we choose to be people of good consciousness...
Nicely said! Thank you for that reminder of what is really happening.
I think parents and family have certain expectations for us, influanced by culture, religion, traditions and so forth. When we do not meet these expectations it is hard for the to adjust and accept. Give them time, reach out and educate them, they will come around. Loved your photos and thanks for sharing a part of your life.
I agree it takes time especially with family old friends on the other hand may have been lost to the ether.
You hope they come around but there are times when that's not the case.
Never give up, keep loving them and reaching out. Good luck.
My family tells me I need to get my life together. I have such an amazing and awesome life. They are so miserable, sick, dying and hate their lives. Good thing I have a sense of humor.
You've found peace and good people who share your values, so that's most important. It's sad that others didn't stick with you the way they should have.
As someone who lived abroad for several years myself, I experienced a minor version of this in that people back home didn't seem to care about my experiences after a while. What I experienced was beyond their reference points. I eventually ended up moving back within a day's drive of where I grew up, but was able to return on my own terms.
To some extent, I think people are afraid that you have broken free and followed your own personal journey in a way that many of them cannot appreciate.
After reading everyone's comments this seems to be the consensus but I wish they desired to be part of the journey.
I unfortunately come from a very disfunctional family. Later on in life I became an expatriate. Almost all family by blood disowned or does not interact with me in any fashion.
I believe that they as well as myself are waling our paths....that means that our paths may cross each others in the future... or not. Only the purpose and choices that we act upon will determine that outcome. Another unfortunate side affect is that the next generation in my family has inherted the trait of "not caring or wanting to bond" together. This has been my only regret in life to date.
As I am a creature of benevolence, this type of behavior led to a burden of guilt and negativity that was dificult to face....& later overcome.
Both of you have each other and that is a most blessed thing.
The individuals around you whom Are a positive influence in your life are your family.
I envy thee sir and wish thee continued success.
Thank you @Mithrilweed my family is a little scrambled in the head but our dysfunction was tolerable.
I too share this problem, but I have not found a new pack yet.
Nor have I finished changing.
What I find is that people have lines that they will not cross in their minds.
For many americans, it is related to what they learned in sunday school.
Speak all you want about Tibetan Buddhism, and no response.
Talk about the bible being a numerological / astrological text and they will ban / block / close their account / never speak to you again.
Freedom is an even bigger no-no don't go here thing.
They have been programmed all of their lives that they want their chains, they love their chains.
And the biggest one is to leave their social starta. Go from poor to middle class, and no one will talk to you. Go to rich, and all they ever want is money, if anything. Talking to poor people about getting rich themselves ... thems fighten words.
Wow, those are some very true words!
Dear Hilarski's,
Let me share my thoughts on the topic.
First of all it was a great post to read and I can for one for sure relate to what you write. Even though we have different stories, there are some similarities.
Anyway... only the first part of 1, reminds me of your situation a little, as you moved from the north to the central America, with latin culture, as I think many Americans (sorry I don't remember if you are American or Canadian?, but I guess its the same story) may want to shy away from Latinos?
It can be lonely to be a first mover, its great we have Steemit to meet and remember we are the good guys :)
Thank goodness I have not felt any of the hostility but who knows what will happen if I return to NY with Anabell. We have together for five years but none of those people have ever met her. As far as Panamanian's accepting me that has been great. Most expats here are decent and the ones that are not we do not associate with.
No this part of my story, I do not compare to yours or any others, it was only to tell what happened in the past to me. I was not thinking apparently, not protecting myself, trusting that the people around me had good intensions when they didn't have, and so on. I think I huge part of my negative experience, was due to Joannes predatory actions.
Anyway I believe it is very different with your expats, as they are in a very different place and setting, then the group I meet in the past.
I can imagine that the locals are very friendly in Panama.
Serious @hilarski, i really appreciate having you in the Steemit Community, the amount of times you shared my post and leave a comment. You seem to take Steemit as serious social platform, speaking as a 21 year old where almost everyone of my friends are obsessed with Facebook, my advice is to just continue being active where you feel like your voice has value. I would have never posted on Facebook the way I would with Steemit. Heads up to one of the most influencial Crypto-Enthusiasts out there, keep us updated and stay Steemimg!
#HighFive thank you for doing what you do as well. I hope we have this amazing tech around for many years to come.
My family is made up of good friends not bloodlines❤
Yes strangers can become friends and be relied upon... Family exist just to remind you how lucky you are for the truly valuable people in your life...
Dam Straight!
That was very heartfelt. Thank you for sharing that with us. Hopefully at some point all of those friends and family will be on here to read that! ;)