Mowing the lawn is a plague upon society, humanity, and yourself. Stop the madness.

in #life8 years ago (edited)

It's not a secret that mowing the lawn is the most useless, wasteful thing a suburban moron can do.

It wastes time.
It wastes gas.
It wastes money.

It wastes water, it wastes fertilizer, it wastes sunlight.
It even wastes the effort the grass puts into growing.

Imagine if you were the grass. You grow, grow, and grow, and then some cruel monster goes and cuts you up.

Strangely enough, we still get to suffer in such a way sometimes. A lot of people choose to take the effort of watering their grass. Predictably, watering your grass makes it grow faster, and then you have to cut it more, because you want the grass that you watered to be short. Makes no sense to me.

It can only be a cultural tradition. An insane cultist ritual.

So stop it. Just stop it. Why are you carrying out such a bizarre, useless ritual?
Any excuse your make to carry out this chore is absurd. You can't justify this sort of thing. "Keeps the bugs down" is the only half-way legitimate reason I can think of, yet even that is bizarre in modern times. We live in houses, you know.

Grass isn't even native to where you live, is it? Not lawn grass, at least.
Why not allow natural plants to grow? Or just grow fruiting plants and useful herbs?

I just can't imagine why grass is so important to you.

In older times, lawns were owned by the rich. They'd have their lawn, and their sheep and their goats, and the animals would eat the grass. Jealous peasants tried to imitate them, and well, here you are. That's you.

You're the jealous peasant who has no idea why you have a useless lawn. "Because it looks nice."

Not a chance. Lawns are abnormal. Our animal instinct loves the wilderness. It hates lawns and suburban aesthetic. Our eyes crave beautiful flowers, wild shrubs, groups of trees, and little rocks and boulders, embedded in the naturally fertile earth.

Why not just install solar panels instead of grass, at least? Even if you hate flowers and herbs and trees, maybe you're the weird sort who wants endless fields of machines and lifeless concrete. Solar panels. Go for it.

Mowing the lawn raises dust and pollen; grass viscera and fumes enter your lungs, and then your nose starts to run. If it doesn't run, you're probably just letting the plant fragments rot in your lungs. Terrifying. Besides spreading pollen all over, and having all your neighbors be forced to inhale gasoline fumes and dead grass mist, you're also making a lot of noise.

Yes, lawn mowers are loud and irritating. They ruin the beautiful sounds of summer. The soothing sounds of wind, birds, leaves and bugs is all replaced by the most hideous sound I can imagine, perhaps even worse than the screech of scratching forks on plates. Why make me suffer? Why shatter the ambience of summer? It's disgusting and so wasteful, I really can't tolerate it.

And worst of all, lawn mowers violently grind up tiny mice, toads, frogs, innocent spiders, baby rabbits, moles, and all sorts of little living beings.

Including kittens, perhaps.

"Good riddance", you say? Shame on you. You're a human, so you go live in your house all safe. The outside is for the wild animals, so respect them. Don't grind them into paste. That sort of thing is obscene and disturbing, and when it's all because of some unnecessary societal ritual, it simply cannot go on.

So like I said before: Stop. Just quit doing this whole "suburban lawn" thing, and rebel. Sure, some crazed city council might threaten to steal your money. Sure, your neighbors might start cursing you under their breath. But honestly, this is a cult that we need to abandon.

Lawns are seriously an eyesore to me.



mowing the lawn is my exercise, as it's as well good for the body as the mind ... I love gardening!

This is such a funny post with a very substantial message! Personally, none of these applies to my situation, but I could see how this would be applicable for a lot of other people. The way you delivered this is so entertaining, I really do hope you get your point across. Congrats on the success of this post so far!

Thank you! I had fun writing it, but yeah, I don't have to deal with grass either.

Even so, other people do, and it's quite silly.

I agree 100% ! Grow food not lawns.

Couldn't agree more, this should also be seen as a form of patriatism like when people were told to grow hemp for national security. Food should be the hemp of our generation.

What strange habits and rites humans have!

There are also those who keep the small patches of grass around the trees in a huge, beautiful garden short with a scythe, why not allow the rabbits to enjoy the fresh green. There at least it makes sense.

I have a similarly strong opinion on cars, BTW.

Ah yes, humans are truly an anomaly.

You should write an article about cars, if you feel strongly about the topic. I wrote this one here:

But perhaps you have a better article to write? =D

So funny,and so true! I have thought about it myself. I once had this bullshit "job" - so called worktraining -enforced om me by the social services in sweden, to test my working ability,since I have been unemployed most of my life. And what we did was mowing lawns,more than half the time. For elderly people,who apparently were bored to death. Their lawns looked completly fine to me.. but we did it ,for the taxpayers money. This gave me ample time to philosophize about the futility of mowing lawns. I think it´s in our civilised mindset,this whole dichotomy of humanity vs nature, needing to enforce our will on nature,because nature represents the animal parts of us,the wild and uncivilised. So we can go out in nature and enjoy it,but we need to keep it at bay close to human dwellings. And of course it´s just a norm. And norms,like memes,reproduce, like the filthy spawns of Satan that they are. Btw,this post was so good that I shared it on facebook, as the first Steemit post that I have shared. I had to figure out how to do it,I´m so used to the share button.

I love it, I feel the same way. We have to conform to this sterile lawn loving life. Let it all grow wild!

On the other hand, I don't want that stuff growing waste high, causing less visibility in my yard. Not maintaining the yard allows many types of creatures to take advantage of the concealment. Such creatures can be snakes, raccoons, possoms, rats, yellow jackets, coyotes, and others that will attack to protect their nest. As an inhabitant of the land. We are responsible for the maintainence of the land and to oversee the property to protect ourselves and our children.

At the least, the huge focus on lawn in suburbia is ludicrous. But the trend does come from practical roots that are the reason for maintaing low grass in rural areas even when there are no codes being enforced.
Long grass means more parasites and the potential to disturb a dangerous but otherwise peaceful creature.

The reason people in rural areas cut the grass near any used areas is because snakes, ticks, chiggers and various other wildlife relish tall grasses. Tall grass= higher danger. In drier climates, tall grass also increases fire dangers.

By no means am I trying to refute your overall message that suburbia puts way too much time, effort and concern into lawns, it is ludicrous. Especially when those lawns can be purposed in order to reduce your cost of living and the like.
But there are practical reasons not to have tall grass all around your house or whatever.

Aye, if there's a good reason to cut it, I'll accept it.
I'm a practical person, and I understand that sometimes you do need to keep grass short for logical reasons.

Definately not a perspective I took with lawns. I do believe there might better alternatives available in some cases. Like for instance I have converted much of my lawn space into wood chip covered garden spaces. Less lawn to mow, but having a nice lush soft bed of grass to play on and share family time is also important.

Maybe you live in a city and don't get to enjoy the benefits of a lawn. I'm not usually running over snakes, bunnies and all the other critter you speak of because they have plenty of amazing spaces around my property to live and be happy.

It's called creating a balanced outdoor living space beneficial to everyone and everything. I would not be so harsh and paint lawns as the devil's work. It's definitely not a waste to have... but you would have to have a nice one to know what I am talking about.

I don't have a lawn but this post is interesting, passionate, creative. congrats!

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