So...
Now you know why I never wear mine (and I still have it), and why I've yet to buy my wife a new one (she lost hers down the sink).
She bought herself something that passes for a wedding ring, because she wanted to wear one, so no worries.
Since you are the man with no name, we could start calling you Gollum if you like? :) Sounds like you were doing a fine interpretation of him.
Yeah, I probably shouldn't have been wearing it anyways. It was a little too big. If my wife lost hers we'd probably file an insurance claim. It was more expensive than mine.
My aunt bought a fake ring at a casino in Las Vegas. The stone is enormous. Because she and my uncle are retired, people just assume that they're super wealthy and that the stone is real. It's not. It was $30. Yet she gets many more compliments than she ever did with her real one. Heh
Gollum has his own name, Sméagol. I, however, wander these wastes with naught but mine accoutrements and faithful steed. Oh, and "I got $20 in my pocket!..."