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RE: The Travel That Saved and Changed My Life

in #life6 years ago

Glad to hear you found joanne and aaron @macchiata and glad you listened to the little voice that told you you might as well go to the airport and get on the plane.
I suffered from clinical depression for years and what changed everything for me was when I stopped trying to work it out or understand it.
I noticed that I wasn't 100% depressed 100% of the day even though it felt that way. But I notice there were little gaps in the depression when I was distracted from thinking about it.
I did my best to stop thinking and thinking and just kept reminding myself that no matter how bad it felt, it would pass.
Sometimes that was easier than others.
Sometimes I forgot and everything felt black and pointless again.
But little by little I got better at not thinking and thinking until now I rarely go to that really dark place. And if I do it's not for long.
Hope you have another good day today! 😍

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@gillianpearce,
It's sometimes difficult reaching out because we don't want to sound vulnerable. I've had this moment where I fought everything with all I have while constantly listening to those horrible thoughts.
I promise to myself and trying my best to get out of the situation. Anyway steemit has always been part of my self development journey.

I wrote a lot about it and it's the medium for me to cope from time to time.
It's so refreshing to see I am fighting for what's left while sometimes I've had my horrible moments.

Just like what you've written.

Sometimes I forgot and everything felt black and pointless again.
But little by little I got better at not thinking and thinking until now I rarely go to that really dark place. And if I do it's not for long.

You're an inspiration to me and thank you for saying that. It means alot and that I know, I am never alone fighting this battle.

Yes. You're right @maccchiata, reaching out is the last thing I wanted to do when I was feeling depressed. Why would you want to share yourself with others when you feel so crap about yourself?
It's a balance I think. And we get very good at going through the motions and hiding what's on the inside.
But again I learned to leave myself alone and judge less and just remind myself that I had a whole load of unhelpful thinking going on and that is all it was - unhelpful thinking. It wasn't the truth about me and I didn't need to think about the truth about me. I just needed not to go down the rabbit hole, weather the storm and remind myself that it would eventually pass. 😍

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