Death: How prepared are you?

He lay on the bed, eyes closed, chest rising ever so slightly with each shallow intake of breath. He looked peaceful, and indeed he was; Surrounded by family, his frail hand held in the small hand of his granddaughter. The hospital equipment continued to beep in the background however none was hooked up to the man in the bed, it came from outside the small room and the group paid it no heed. They were there at their patriarch's final moments and nothing else seemed to intrude on that intimate gathering. Tears glistened in the eyes of the group surrounding the bed, adults and children alike, and each person was lost in thoughts of what this man meant to them. And then...His chest stopped moving. It was over...

In life we can be assured of nothing much else except death. It happens often; About 105 people die per minute around the world, and it will happen to you and I eventually. My mum died in a palliative care unit in a hospital; She had cancer and when she died was almost unrecognisable to me, physically I mean. My family had spent the night at the palliative care unit sleeping on couches and chairs as my mum was quite close to death. In the morning we were told she was stable and to head home, grab breakfast and showers, and that they would call us if there was any change. We did so however received a phone call about an hour later advising she was heading down hill. We raced to the hospital with little regard for the speed limit and ran through the hospital to get to the palliative care ward however on arrival were advised she had passed only a couple of minutes prior to us arriving. It was a pretty heart wrenching moment. I was absolutely furious with myself for having left in the first place and felt pretty terrible that she had died in that room alone. This was back in 2004 and it still makes me tear up thinking about it. At the time I needed consoling not just for the fact she passed but I was just so angry with myself for not being there.

Of course from there I had to bring it together and take control of the arrangements one needs to make when someone dies and then, over the next several months, the wrapping up of my mums affairs.

I had a conversation with a couple of people at work this past week about changing my Will and was surprised to hear that neither of the people had one, which is simply crazy. Sure, we don't want to think about our own mortality however not having a Will is simply ludicrous.

A last Will and Testament is a legal document communicating a deceased person's final wishes in respect of possessions and dependents. The last will and testament outlines what to do with those possessions, whether he or she is leaving them to another person, a group of people, family or even donating them to a charity. It also relates to what happens to other things that the person is responsible for like the custody of any dependents, accounts and interests such as businesses and the like.

I have had one since the age of 20. I'm changing it though as I need to take into consideration new family members and my changing circumstances. My wife and I both have Wills stating that upon death all our worldly possessions go to the other and in the advent of us dying together, or the last remaining person dies, then our estate will be disposed of and the proceeds distributed in a certain way. To be honest we won't be around and so it hardly matters who gets our estate however as we are childless we would like the culmination of our entire lives to go towards assisting someone else and if that can make their life a little easier than so be it.

Here, not having a legal will means the government (Public Trustee) step in and dictate the eventual distribution of the estate and, of course, take a very hefty sum for their trouble. I don't know what it means in your part of the world but I assume not having a last will and testament will severely affect your next of kin and could even mean the people you would like to receive your possessions and estate may actually not. Is that how you'd like it to go?

My wife and I have been thinking about distribution of our estate and we think we have it worked out. We always write our Wills so that they are easy to execute and rather than assign specific items to specific people we simply state that our worldly possessions are to be disposed of and the proceeds divided in accordance with the splits and to the relevant people in our Wills. Simple. We also appoint our law firm as the executor of our Wills, they take a fee, but being the executor of a Will is probably one of the worst jobs you could imagine and I wouldn't want to impose that on anyone I know or like. The lawyers will do it and to be honest they are best placed to do so. It won't cost me a cent; I'll be dead.

So, we're off to the lawyer, never a cheap process, to get our Wills done in the next week or so and they should hopefully see us through for then next 20 years or so. We plan to ensure our Wills are up to date and relevant at all times whilst we have legal capacity to avoid having these decisions taken out of our hands.

Every time the topic comes up I always urge people to get it done, and not just with a legal will kit from the post office either; They are not worth the paper they're written on. If you haven't done it go ahead and make some enquiries at a lawyer in your local area; It's really not that expensive. Your family, loved ones, dependants and deserve it. (Or maybe not.)

[- Design and create your ideal life, don’t live it by default -]

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