I feel you man. I bought 10,000 eos day 3 of ICO - it was my first post on steem and first crypto buy ,and sold it all after a few weeks because it went up to $6.00 then went down t $2.00 andI couldn't handle the volatility. A few months later it dropped to .50 and I could have bought the same $20,000 position for $5000, but I was so jaded by eos, I didn't. I thought I was a genius at the time, because I saved myself $15,000, who knew it would 50X after that. I live on the streets now, 10K EOS could have bought me a house in todays dollars. I don't have a job at all or even the ability to feed myself. I am sorry you are struggling, persistence is key. I am pretty sure EOS will be the death of me. Instead I reinvested everything in Late December and lost it all. Some people are meant to lose I guess